Poem #3 for 02/01/02:

"Those Days"

Ever have one of those days?

You know, when you feel like you could take over the world

And not turn into a politician?

As if you owned the world, sitting on a chair at the top of the north pole near Santa's house,

But yet, not being cold in doing so?

You know, THOSE days, the good days.

Chances are you have...

But have you ever had one of those days?

You know, when you have no roadmap

And you're out of gas

And you've got to appear tomorrow on jury duty

And you really don't want to go.

You know, THOSE days, days that you just want to get over with

And never see them again.

Or have you ever had one of THOSE days,

Days when nothing seems to matter

And you're afraid that you'll say something stupid

And bring down something important before you wake?

Or when nameless dejection

Hangs over you like a thundercloud,

And you keep getting hit by lightening

But you don't really care.

And then there's those other days -

Days when you know you should be doing something better,

Or that you could be saving the planet here

Rather than playing Pong.

Lacking anything worthy to do, you abandon yourself to irrelevancy,

It doesn't matter; it's only one more day.

Or how about this one: "I'll get to it later," -

When really all you want is a little peace

'Cause priority doesn't apply anymore.

I have these days sometimes,

And they're not much fun.

A day lived without meaning, without devotion or emotion

Is a day better spent in other ways.

O days! Why can't you all be lived with me on top of the world,

With me feeling that something has meaning, and

Sensing meaning, give it, to the work I do.

Why must suffering be a part of the routine,

Not even plain like pain,

But worse? Like vague, bleary shadows,

Without shape, without form, supressing these in others

Until nothing seems meaningful

And it doesn't matter how the day is spent.

How horrible to live like this! But perhaps,

Though such days are devils, pre-elapsed,

Living through them makes us stronger, better, a little better

If we didn't try, tommorrow we will

(Not as in those unfulfilled promises at mid-day

But per the hollowness post nightfall

When at last we lie a-bed,

And the air is warm and hard,

And we toss, and turn, and toss,

And worry over what happened.)

Not that the things themselves were so bad,

But that a fleshy automotron did them

And not us. Perhaps

This ISN'T all there is; perhaps

There IS a greater world outside our heads

Dejection cannot touch; perhaps

The world is only sad when we think it so; perhaps

There is a greater life to know; perhaps

We will find it on the morrow - no sorrow

Will keep us from the place we seek.

The road may be long, but we will dare to start.

The journey tough, but we won't dare lose heart.

The trials rough, but we shall move along.

We'll do enough to 'scape from out of throng,

Where the unititiated go, where we went

We'll change our bent,

And get there day the next. Perhaps -

It will all prove hollow dreams, as it did days past...

But there's still chance - we may at last

Reach somewhere above, and life may take

Upon itself a new complexion: less pale, more full

Perhaps a bad day isn't end, post all

But only a part of our whole life, that which day by day

We can look back upon, and when we fain look up,

We can say 'Gee, I couldn't do that this time last year.'

And when we want to look down, and wallow in dejection,

Reject our path thus far, and say

'Look, THOSE things still affect me -

I'm no better than I was before.'

But yet, both are true - life is happiness and sadness,

And sometimes we will feel like just giving up,

Throwing in the towel,

And walking out. Maybe

We should do that for now, and come back later -

Perhaps we'll feel more confident then.

Or maybe it's the kind of thing that can't

Be so abused; we must act now;

There is no turning back.

In that case, fight it out,

Don't give in,

Never surrender.

But either way, we may one day emerge the winner

Of the contest

Because we stuck it out to the end -

(There is no shame in break-taking.)

And then, some day perhaps we'll see

Something bigger than each day; a path

That we are treading

That may lead into something bigger.

We've done that one - put a check by it,

And if it didn't turn out optimal,

Then bear in mind where we erred

And don't err next time.

To err is human,

But to see things clearly is divine.