| Poem: The Changing of the Squirrels #2 The sun is shining, the clouds are gone The day is fun, the children play The men remark while mowing lawns "Ah, 'tis a beautiful day!" A shadow falls across the sun The people everywhere scream "This is terrible! What can be done? Tell us! What does it mean?" A roar of steam marks their arrival They open up the airship's doorway Preparing for their bloody reprisal… The bloodthirsty vengeful Squirrels of Norway. One by one the squirrels march out Plummeting to the ground below Their parachutes open, they give a war shout While sipping glasses of Red Bordeaux Their leader steps up to the door His purple eyes glint in the sun He recalls seeing the townsfolk before He is not the only one… Many years ago it was, deep in the jungles of Norway The squirrels were playing by the brooks And wearing pricing cheap toupees While singing about the telephone book To the incessant tune of Billy Ray But their happy days would come to an end Suddenly, and without warning When the townsfolk came around the bend That one Saturday morning They ate the trees, they snacked on ferns They drank the river bare They left the squirrels a-wonderin' What had brought them there? The squirrels dispatched their four most trusted best spies To spy upon the townsfolk They squinted hard, they crossed their eyes It took them time, but they found out: The town was out of Coke.grocers had gone broke Back to Norway they went with haste Those four squirrelish spies so bold The story was met with much distaste And repugnance, repulsion, revulsion untold Their tragic story told to all The squirrelish spies retired When their leader saw their laziness Like that! All four were fired. Now the squirrels were angry and fuming Their blood boiled in their veins They stopped their parties, they stopped their grooming They wanted revenge at any pains They called out their army, they assembled their navy They declared an all-out war And that is what the squirrels remembered… Remembered from before. The squirrels attacked with spoon and forkconfetti And spaghetti, strung 'round a stickfork But the townsfolk were ready, for they LIKED spaghetti And countered with a croon 'bout New York The squirrels held their ears, it was worse than they'd feared This attack was a big dismal flop Until up showed a monkey with cantaloupes in his ears Valiantly waving a mop. "To arms, squirrels! To arms!" The monkey did shout "They have brought you grief and done you harm… You have every right to pout!" "Spare them no mercy! Spare them no kindness! Let them feel your cruel vengeful hand! Stop your civility! Stop your politeness! Do not be kind, give sharp reprimand!" These words awakened the fierce patriotism Slumbering within the squirrelish military They swore to correct their terrible cataclysm And fight 'til the last of them was long dead and buried The battle resumed, fiercer than ever This would decide the fate of the town But alas! The townsfolk had little hope of triumph No hope to save them from this menace most brown The townspeople flee! Conquered at last, They have no choice but to take to the hills They run, they run, they run really fast The sight of the squirrels give them the chills The squirrels rejoice! Their enemy vanquished, The town is theirs for whatever they choose They could walk around eating cold fish Or dance through the streets, trying on shoes But wait! The monkey wants his due payment A price which the squirrels aren't prepared to pay So they give him what for, this greedy claimant And whack him, and smack him, and toss him away. This monkey finds himself in the dump Directly below the chemical heap A sudden wind, and the heap gives a slump And falls on the monkey without a peep Thunder and lightning engulf the poor ape He feels his veins throb with dark energy He changes colors, first orange, then grape And feels like an evil new monkey A blast of wind, and the monkey's transformation Is complete, and now his revenge he will seek We saw him before as an everyday monkey Perhaps we should now it is time to take another peek… A grin spreads across his twisted face He wears a pair of red glasses (His shorts and machine guns may seem out of place Like a bowl of hard-boiled molasses) This monkey speaks, his twisted face contorting "The monkey who began this day I am sorry to be reporting Has forever gone away…" "I am not that monkey," The brownish fiend continued "Who lead the squirrels to victory." He gave a mighty laugh that rippled through his sinew "I am vicious, I am cruel I'm inarguably cool But believe me, I'm no fool I don't hold cook-outs in the pool Or impersonate a Yuletide mule while in piano school." The monkey monster smiled in his cruel, malignant way "I am monkey, here me roar! I shall revenge myself this day! You've never heard my name before…" "But I shall tell you," he went on "It's not George, or Fred, or Sammo Or Frank, or Jim, or John No… My name… is Rambo." Rambo the Killer Monkey That was the beast's full name He was so very angry "For shame! Squirrels, for shame!" "Look at what I've done for you And this is how you treat me? I'd rather eat shampoo And then Have YOU people eat me!" He snuck into the squirrelish world Quietly, like a cow He found the dissenters among their race And then he showed them how To operate heavy weaponry Great weapons of destruction (His four allies were once the spies Fired by their leader's instruction.) The five conspirators started riots They caused a revolution (Some may argue that this was not The politically-correct solution…) Under Rambo they overthrew The squirrels' conquered nation Then they blew up the rest, with their weapons best And leveled the location. Rambo ran off with his four flunkies Running like the wind He had gotten his revenge This monkey much maligned. And if there is a moral to Be learned from this sob tragedy It must be then to never let Squirrels mistreat a monkey. |