| Poem: If You Want Another Receipt (rhyme scheme based on If You Want a Receipt by W. S. Gilbert) An Excerpt From... "The Big Play" by Balsaa PRECEDING SCRIPT: Act IV, Scene VIII: At the Giant Eagle checkout counter Cashier at cash register Enter Balsaa, Momma Guru, and Chibibob stage right, with shopping cart Cashier: Good day, sirs and madam. Balsaa & Chibibob together: Good day, dear sir. Momma Guru: Hello. Could you ring these up for us? (Motions to shopping cart) Cashier: Why, certainly. (Starts to ring things up, then stops) Would you like a receipt for that? Momma Guru: Um… sure. Cashier: Very good. Well, then… Cashier (Sings to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance): If you want a receipt for your day’s grocery shopping And will elect to wait but a secoon’d Take all the items your cart was transporting And rattle them off to a popular tune. One dozen eggs, fresh in the cartons And then, of course, your one leg of lamb A bunch of bananas, just in from St. Martens And do not forget all your three pounds of Spam Lots of bologna, for sandwiches plenty Mustard and ketchup are obvious shoe-ins Many ra-dishes (about twelve or twenty) And ten boxes of fig-flavored Newtons Boxes of ice cream, vanilla and fudge And the ingredients of liver pate (Is this food healthy? You be the judge) But please tell me now, is that all for today? Now take of these items all that is buyable Whether it be hard, or soft, or pliable And now you must sign our sales record; And a receipt… is your just reward. |