Poem: "The Mallet: A Cautionary Tale"

by Benjamin M. Saalbach / Walsh

The subject of mallets I would like to discuss

Regarding their place in our nation

And what hammer's kin can do for us

When occupying its proper station.

Whack-a-mole, hit-the-bell, also croquet

The uses of mallets are many to say

But there's one I would like to consider today

Hammering in the morning.

'If I had a mallet, I'd clobber in the mor-or-ning,

I'd clobber in the eve-en-ing, I'd clobber all the dayyyyyyy,

If I had a mallet, I'd clobber you in the summ-mer tiime,

Withooooouuut, a bit of delay.'

Hammering in the morning

Take the mallet

Clobber someone

Why? I don't know

Maybe you shouldn't

Maybe that would be

Why don't you not do that after all

I think it's time you put the hyper-dimensional hammer away

'But they make it look so-oo-ooo easy!'

Smart kids stay off hammers.

Hammer time.