HOME PAGE GEORDIE LAFORGE IS AN APE MAN. GEORDIE TOOK JUDO IN SCHOOL, HE CAN FUCK THIS SHIT OUT OF YOU. GEORDIE = READING RAINBOW SLUT. HE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES. GEORDIE WILL BEAM YOU TO HIS SHIP AND TAKE YOU TO THE FAR REACHES OF HIS INTERGALACTIC SLEEPING BAG. LEVAR BURTON TAUGHT MANY CHILDREN TO READ. BUT WHAT HE DIDN'T TEACH THEM IS THAT THE WORLD IS FULL OF PAIN ANGER AND HATRED. CHILDREN, GO AHEAD.. READ WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TIME. BECAUSE ONCE YOU ARE AN ADULT YOU HAVE TO TAKE A JOB AS A PSEUDO BLIND MAN ON A FRIDAY NIGHT TV SHOW ABOUT A SHIP THAT CAN GO FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. COULD IT GO ANY FARTHER DOWNHILL? WELL.. I'M HOSTING READING RAINBOW, AREN'T I? MY LORD. WHAT DID I DESERVE TO GET PUT IN THIS PLACE? My Favorite Books: - 10 ways to skin deer - A novice guide to bounty hunting in Montana - Mick Jagger's tales of economic hardship - Below the drinking fountain - Are you my uncle sis? A tale of modern family structure - Generous Portions: How to keep your kids off the streets and in the Kitchen - Puzzle Manufacturing for the keen business man - Jellatin Molds vol. 6: The Kruschev era - Nothing but Net: A modern guide to playing Basketball while tied to a gorilla thats on fire - Drunken pole vaulting, trainer edition - Pokemon Purple: Interiordecoratormon - Inside a cat's stomache: What your cat actually eats when you're not looking - Parking Lot broom hockey - Samantha brings home a dead eel - James and the Mustang: James' first taste of getting killed by a horse - Jealous Turtles, "I Saw it first" - Relish condoms and you: its not just for hotdogs anymore - Sally toothless: Better Wear your retainer you spoiled brat - Jimmy's christmas wish: If i could only goto EURO DISNEY. - Porkupine in heat: It takes a while, but the deed can be done - Generous Portions 2: Keeping your kids out of your life and in the Kitchen - ALF goes to hollywood with bill murray and Hillary Rodham Clinton, a retrospective - Trowsers! Who needs such things - Garbled Messages: Did your wife actually ever say anything intelligible? From the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from the backside of an elephant carrying Malaria - Steve! Look out! your hair is on fire! - Police Brutality: PUT THE CANDY BAR DOWN AND NO ONE GETS THROWN INTO THE EAST RIVER - Green and Blue: Life at an Algae Burlesque - Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory that carves up little children - UnFUnFuNF, I've got an itching in my pants - Rotation: How do screw in Lightbulbs and other globular structures - HOW TO CHOOSE CANDLES FOR YOUR BACHELOR PARTY - Being Polite: Kicking your mother in the face so she'll do your laundry is not OK - Ping Pong in space: Vol. 21 - IGNORANCE!: 10 steps to becoming the uninformed retard you've always wanted to be. - OOPS!: "I thought my cat would DRY OFF in the microwave" and other facinating tales of suspense - 245 grams of fat: Why never to eat an irish setter. - Bowling on LSD: The pins aren't snakes.... THEY'RE ACTUALLY DEADLY ALLIGATORS - Stabbed! What do I do now? Gunfighting with desperado caterpillars: "Fuzzy Bastards got good aim" |