This is the story from my 11 day absense that is kind of sad..atleast to me it is. well...here it goes
First off, hayley is copying me left and right, every thing I want she want's everything I get she wants to get but can't cuz her mom wont let her. It's bugging the hell out of me!!! and It just wont stop, everyone in school is telling me to stop hanging out with her and all this other stuff, I was just lost in confusion about what to do, then I started hanging out by myself having nothing to do but think over everything that was going on in my life. I still wen't to school and tryed to concentrate. But the part that blew me off the most was when I saw Logan flirting with one of my best friends...Jessie. Nobody even understands that story because it all has to do the bus and his house, and the movies and everything else. We basically were going out, and were boyfriend and girlfriend. But then I saw him flirting with Jessie and stuff and It just threw me off my life for a while and I couldn't concentrate I had that on my mind plus the whole hayley thing I was mad at the world. Then for some odd reason my mom was lying to me a lot and telling me a whole bunch of stuff that was never true! And is never gonna be true. I was so lost in myself, I was depressed. I started writing stuff in my away messages like "My life sucks...I'm never going to be happy till it's all over..but even then It would be impossible for me to be happy" I felt as if there was no reason to live.
But then I was in the car one day and this song came on..."Here without you" by Three Doors Down. It like had some affect and all the bad thoughts went away. I haven't spoken to Logan in a long time or seen him, my mom just doesn't even stay in my mind and Hayley, I've learned to just get used to it. I'll find a way around it...I always do. I always listen to that song now, it just helps me a lot, it gave me a reason to live, it brought back all my good memories. Another thing that helped me was my little cusin Rebecca, I had to go over her house and she was just so cute and wanted me to play with her and she was telling me that I'm her best friend and that I'm her favorite cusin and that she'll love me forever. I realize how much she looked up to me, it made me mad at myself for even thinking once about not living. I'm pretty much better now, I'm getting around and hanging out with friends again. My mom also offered to buy me a new lacrosse stick and stuff because she realized how I felt and she knows how much I love lacrosse. lol I accepted her offer. My cusin Erica is coming out from Massachusettes in like two weeks, I have to be happy for her she's my age. I've never even met her, I don't want her going back there telling all my aunts and uncles what I was like and how depressive I was, thats just not good. So I'm clearin myself up.
All of you who read this I appreciate your time, never feel depressed or down about yourself its not a great feeling and sometimes its not that hard to get over. If you do ever depressed listen to music that comforts you. It helps a lot!
I luv you all! Thanks so much for your help!
