You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Kentuckians ... A Kentuckian decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? "Everything but my earrings." A group of Kentucky friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry! Regarding the year 2000, a senior at UK was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Kentucky." When asked why, he stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world. The young Kentuckian came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young Kentuckian answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." NEWS FLASH! - Kentucky's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two UK students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. A Kentucky State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-35. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut"?