50 QUESTIONS THAT HAVE PLAGUED MANKIND SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME, OR AT LEAST SINCE THE END OF
THE SIXTIES...
01- Paper or plastic?
- Paper.
02- Blonde or brunette?
- Redhead.
03- Cash or cheque?
- Cash. Always cash.
04- Betty or Veronica?
- Betty.
05- Left or Right?
- Left.
06- Late or never?
- Better late.
07- Big or small?
- Big. big.
08- Eat-in or take-out?
- Delivery.
09- Funsies or keepsies?
- Funsies. I lose a lot.
10- The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi?
- The Empire Strikes Back.
11- Regular or Premium?
- Regular.
12- Over or under?
- Depends on the circumstances.
13- Skim or Homogenized?
- 2%.
14- Apples or Oranges?
- Sorry, that's not a valid comparison.
15- Dog or cat?
- Cat, damnit! CAT!
16- Cream or sugar?
- Black.
17- Happy or sad?
- Sad.
18- Ginger or Mary Ann?
- The Professor.
19- Baywatch or Beachcombers?
- Beachcombers.
20- Less or more?
- Less is more.
21- Truth or dare?
- Truth.
22- Hear no evil or see no evil?
- Speak no evil.
23- Catholic or Protestant?
- You know, the one with the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life.
24- Tragedy or comedy?
- Comedy.
25- Football or hockey?
- Both.
26- Your brain or your brain on drugs?
- Your brain on drugs.
27- Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
- Sean Connery.
28- Ready or Not?
- Sucks.
29- Right or wrong?
- Wrong.
30- Medium or message?
- The medium is the message!
31- Real life or internet porn?
- Internet porn, hands down. (Huh huh, that was a double entendre.)
32- Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant?
- Andre.
33- Mary Poppins or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
- Who gives a flying fuck?
34- Fight or flight?
- Flight.
35- Heads or tails?
- Heads I win, tails you lose.
36- Tall or small?
- Tall.
37- Pass or fail?
- Pass.
38- Pepsi or Coke?
- Royal Crown.
39- Beavis or Butthead?
- Beavis.
40- Coffee or tea?
- Coffee.
41- Soft or hard?
- Hard. It's better that way.
42- Fried or scrambled?
- Scrambled.
43- Do or die?
- Die.
44- Shoot or pass?
- Pass.
45- Trick or treat?
- Trick.
46- Dumb or Dumber?
- Dumbest.
47- Transformers or Go-Bots?
- Transformers. Go-Bots SUCKED.
48- Two or three?
- The more, the merrier.
49- Live or taped?
- Taped live.
50- Guilty or Not Guilty?
- My lawyer advised me not to answer that one...
