10/3/92 - Monday 
Hello diary. Here I am once again to divulge the deepest, darkest depths of my being to you. Well, today was interesting. I bust some moves on that girl in Maths class. The body language was definitely there. One thing that really took me by surprise though, was that she suddenly seemed more open to me than ever before. She used to give me the sort of look that said, "You're wasting your time." Today she really seemed to be giving me a fighting chance. I think she may be starting to sway.

11/3/92 - Tuesday 
Yeah! I bought myself a second hand walkman off some guy at school. Mines old and crusty; this one's in excellent condition and cost less than half what I would thinkit worth. 
This kid who I don't really know started paying me out about my shoes - they weren't "Doc Marten's." What a snob; just because I don't own a two story house and drive a Mercedes Benz. Not everyone can afford Docs. But on the female side of life, I definitely think Cindi is beginning to like me. She spent all lunch with me! Is that good or what!?

12/3/92 - Wednesday 
Today was even better! All of a sudden the one thing that's on my mind is Cindi! She was really kickin' some positive vibes my way. I think I may be down by the end of the week. She almost wouldn't leave me alone. Several times she could've gone with her friends, but she followed me and Jake every time. Now does she want Jake or me? I tried to get her alone, 'cos maybe she wanted to say something - like "I love you." But I couldn't diss Jake without dissing her as well. I'll wait and see what happens.

13/3/93 - Thursday 
I'm getting on well with Cindi. But her friends give me those "gross out" looks. I just try to ignore them. If I get Cindi, the endurance will be worth it. I can
tolerate them. They're all bitch-ass-hoes anyway!

14/3/92 - Friday 
It's Friday! And I'm happier than ever, 'cos Cindi asked me over to "show her how to do calculus." Ha! I saw the glint in her eye. I saw the wetness of her lips. Dripping with lust! So she finally saw what she's been missing. You can't deny yourself what you want for too long. She's finally sucumbed to her want for more. And I'm that "more."

15/3/92 - Saturday 
Yeah, it's going down tonight. Six o'clock. I bet she can't wait. Check you
later...much later!

16/3/92 - Sunday
Hello diary. Here I am once again to divulge the inner most feelings I have at this present point in time. I got to the door, and she greeted me s warmly.fter the usual show of approval to the parents, I was ushered upstairs by Cindi, (who was wearing the sort of clothes that said "Who gives a shit about calculus.") I followed the ass upstairs, and we hit the bedroom. Then she starts taking out her books and talking about "I don't understand how you get the derivitave of..." And I'm thinking, "this is not what I'm here for." I figured she was setting up a guise in case her parents walked in. But time dragged on, and I was beginning to think I had read the situation wrong. Was this a product of my hormone influenced perception of reality?
Where did I slip up? I was sure she was thinking the same as I was, and I'm usually quite intuitive. Around nine o'clock there was a knock on the door. Her father's head poked into the room. He said he was going to bed, and could Cindi drive me home? We heard her father's door close, and it was on. She closed the book, got up and I saw that glint in her eye once again. "Finally" I thought. She got up, and cleared a space on the floor. She took out of her closet some sort of idol, and placed it in the middle of the floor. I'm thinking, "Oh oh, now what?" She tells me to stand next to her in front of the idol. She says "Take off your clothes." I figure "Who cares what sort of kinky things she's into, so long as I get some." So I start to undress. She is too, and I keep glancing over to get a good look. She's too fine! But check what happens next. We're standing there butt naked, and I'm thinking "Well...let's get it on!" Instead, she's got her hands clasped under her chin, muttering some Hoodo Voodo crap about "Oh Mudra, we stand pure before you. I grant you control over that which you desire to use for thy purposes." I swear, the damndest thing happened next. This blue smoke starts pooring out the idol's nose, and I don't know what the hell happened after that. I don't even know if we did it or not. All I know is, I wake up lying in her room, fully clad, and there's no one at home. So I just got the hell out of there. Weirdest experience of my life. You heard it today - the 16th of March, 1992.

17/3/92 - Monday 
I saw Cindi at school today. All of a sudden, she's being real unfriendly. Everytime I go up to her, she walks away. More than walks; almost runs. Who cares. Who can understand women anyway!?

18/3/92 - Tuesday 
Derrick was being a real schmuck today. He was paying me out about my "top effort with Cindi." What he doesn't know is that we did it on Saturday! But he wouldn't believe that - and I have no proof. I don't understand what got Cindi so mad. She won't talk to me or anything. Michelle, that women's libber, came up to me today, and started cussing about "You see women as sex objects. You have no respect for women. You think we were put on this planet for one thing only!" Ooohhhh I hate her! I started paying her out, saying that she only uses "guys discriminating against women" as something to blame the fact that she'll never get laid. Then I started telling her how ugly she is. I made her cry, but I kept going. I wanted her to feel hurt. She's a fuckin bitch!

19/3/92 - Wednesday 
I got in deep trouble today. Derrick was being a loser again, giving me heaps about Cindi, so I beat the sucker in the head. I gave him a right - left - right. Blood was pooring out his mouth, and he was wailing and crying. Cindi saw it too - that'll show her. I was sent to the principal. He was talking 'bout, "What came over you!?...No matter how a person provokes you...That kid will have to go to the orthodontist now; you did that much damage." I just sat there and thought, "Good."

20/3/92 - Thursday 
Not a bad day at school, today, actually. All those who hated Derrick all
congratulated me, and I was made a star. I made my claim to fame by showing off the blood stains on my shirt. Cindi wasn't there today. Who cares.

21/3/93 - Friday
What happened today? Nothing really. 

24/3/93 - Monday 
My parents are still mad about what I did to Derrick. Not to mention having to pay for the orthodontist, 'cos of what I did to Derrick's face! So you can imagine how angry they were when they found out that I'd been in trouble again. I don't know - Andy took my calculator without asking, so I punched him in his goddam face. What's wrong with that? He shouldn't have touched my calculator. He was asking for it.

25/3/92 - Tuesday 
The line at the canteen was too long, so naturally I pushed some turd out the way so I could hurry up and get my damn food. So then the guy behind me says, "You changed, man. You was never like this before. You can't tolerate nothin' no more." I thought about what he said, and I figure I haven't changed, it's just that people are messing with me more lately. I'm just a regular guy who retalliates when people mess with him.

26/3/92 - Wednesday 
Ben came up to me after school today. He said I'd taken his X-Rated porn video. I had, but I played it off real cool, pretending like I thought it was just R-Rated, as if I didn't know. He was really angry, and said he wanted to fight about it.
Well, I figured he'd be good competition, and to beat him would get me a little
respect. So I took up the challenge. Five minutes and two torn jumpers later, he was on the ground, moaning and holding his gut. I grabbed his filthy red hair, pulled his head back by it, and rubbed his little pizza face in the dirt. The grey particles of dirt intermingled with the blood pooring out a gash in his cheek. It felt good.

29/3/92 - Monday 
I hate Mondays. Cindi hasn't been at school for ages. But I don't care. She's
nothing to me. I met a girl called Kath. She's real nice, and it looks like she
wants to be down with The King, yours truly. Who can blame her, really?

30/3/92 - Tuesday 
I hate the fuckin principal. I hate the motherfuckin teachers. I hate the kids
in this motherfucker. And I especially hate that fat english teacher who was
standing in my way when I was trying to go down the stairs. I don't know; I just
nudged her to get her out of the way, and she ends up falling flat on her face. 100 kilos of straight up blubber rolling down the stairs. But what do you expect from an elephant sized woman like that. She shouldn't be standing at the top of stair wells anyway. Anyhow, aside from the near suspension, me and Kath are getting on fine. She says she wants to get down to some hard core back seat studying - of each other. Ha ha. So Cindi can go jump; wherever she is. She still hasn't turned up at school.

31/3/92 - Wednesday 
Aint life a bitch. Tests are coming back with marks in the low 50s and 60s. No one seems to like me anymore; after I beat up Derrick and hit Andy, everyone seemed to think I was such a hero. Now everyone's dissed me. Even Kath is starting follow the trend. My life suddenly took the down slope, and it's steep. On top of that, I think my brakes are failing. I'm going nowhere...no, I feel like I'm going on a one way express trip to hell.

1/4/92 - Thursday 
I did a bad thing today. It was fifth period. The disses got worse, and even Kath was showing hostility. No one was around. She told me to "fuck off" and I guess I just got angry. I pushed her into the boys dunnys. Slammed her up against the wall. Leaning her against a wash basin, I raped her. She tried to struggle, but I had her down firmly. I had to smash her around a few times. I came fairly quickly too. Prolly cos I was shit scared of someone walking in. I guess I just did it cos I was so pissed off with the little dick tease. By the time I'd finished, her face was bruised badly, she had cuts on her body, and she was crying. I left her in a heap in the urinal. Her hair was in piss! 
Well, I guess I got from her all I ever wanted out of her in the first place. I
don't feel bad about what I did. She deserved it.

2/4/92 - Friday 
Kath came to school again today. Everyone was asking what had happened to her face. She said she'd been hit in the face by a tennis ball. If she dares tell anyone what really happened, I'll kill the damn hoe.

3/4/92 - Saturday 
Excellent gank! I was in this army surplus store, and one of the store attendants was upstairs, the other was showing some guy a range of hiking back packs, or some shit. Some guy was at the counter looking at this excellent knife. Huge blade like you never seen on a retractable knife before. A full on tool of death! The guy puts it down, and walks out. It was just sitting on the counter. I acted fast - slipped it up my sleeve and casually strolled out. What a top gank!

5/3/92 - Monday 
I took the knife to school today. I don't know why; I just like the feeling of
carrying a concealed weapon. I feel safe with it there. I also bought an "NFX Crew" tape. The flyest group in the world!

7/4/92 - Wednesday 
Hello diary. Here I am again to divulge the inner framework of my subconcious to you once again. I'm sitting in the police station right now. So much has happened between this morning and now; I can't grasp it all. Let me take it slow... 
I got up. I went to school. Nothing much happened at school. I got on the bus to go home. I was walking through the city. I saw a delivery van drop off a box to the back entrance of a shop front. I went to check out what it was. It was the
April stock of Penthouse magazine. I took out the knife and slit open the box. I
grabbed a handfull, and as I was shoving them into my bag, I heard someone yell,
"Oi!" I bolted upright and turned to face the voice, hiding the knife behind my
back. A man stood in the doorway. "What are you up to!?" he said. 
"Nothing." I said, trying to sound innocent as possible. 
"You been stealing, aven't ya." he said. 
"No." I replied. 
"Yes you 'ave. I saw ya."
"Bull," I said, "I never touched nothing." 
"Well, let me just check your bag, then mate." He came over to me. I was standing over my bag. I wouldn't move. He tried to push me out of the way. I retallited. I pushed him away. I didn't want to go to jail. He came at me. I struck with the knife. The blade sank deep into his throat. A stream of red flowed from his neck, all the way down my arm. I can still see the expression on his face. His mouth wide open, his eyes wide open, straining to hold on to that last bit of life, as it slowly left his body. I was stunned. I forgot about the rest of the world. A siren snapped me to attention. A cop car rolled up, and two police officers raced over to me, forced my hands behind my back as they cuffed me. A crowd had gathered round. As they piled me into the wagon, I looked directly into the eyes of each individual, and as the door slammed, I caught a glimpse of Cindi staring back at me from the depths of the crowd. She had a glint in her eye.