Wednesday - the day of the funeral

    I arrived at school that day, dressed up in black, to get on the bus to go to the funeral.  It was interesting....as soon as word got around that anyone would be excused from the entire day of school for the funeral, all sorts of "friends" came out of the woodwork to go.  We packed the bus and some drove.  One group, drove their car to the church, went in, looked at the body and just drove off.  Perhaps they could say that they were not skipping, they did go to the funeral.

I remember thinking bitterly, why these specific people (who would have rather spit on Brian than talk to him when he was alive) all of a sudden cared about his passing?

    The bus pulled into the parking lot of the church.  For me, it was eerie because my grandma's old house was less than a block from the church.  I knew this area well.  Marlene, Sarah's mom, got up and said some comforting words to us before we got off the bus.  

    We walked in, signed the guest book, and were given bulletins They also had pins that had musical notes because Brian loved music.  All of Brian's family was there, some of his friends from Wayzata High School, and all of us from Centennial.  Brian's dad was walking around introducing himself as Brian's dad.  The tension was evident from the moment we walked in.  There was a large display of pictures of Brian from his youth.  The narthex was filled with people.  The casket was near the doors to the sanctuary.  The family opened a room for the "youth" to put their coats in.  There was a poster you could sign-writing memories you had about Brian.  I wrote "I will always remember your hospital scrubs." 

    I decided that it was time to see the casket.  I took Jael's hand for support as we got into the line to see the casket.  When we got up there, I remember looking at his body.  They had shaved all his facial hair off.  He looked really pale.  Despite the fact that Brian hung himself, it was an open casket-they made sure to pull the collar of his shirt up to his chin.  I remember walking away, and the only thought running through my head was....."his last moments on this earth, he spent alone.....that's the worst part.....he didn't have to be alone. "  This thought made me weep.

Next

HOME

1