steeping tea

Suspicious outside, the illimitable outside
restless inside unresolvable (the) inside
brain between, scarcely seen (once, in a dream)
next restless assignment: this (not what it was purported to be; a trick)
a jum kerouack dance around words--a poor attempt at an expanded generalizability.
an alive mystery. Can we let these ancient Willanova walls fall? it's past due + still
true. Who are we afraid of here? perhaps the bleeding flesh tongue in the stomach.
write to yourself. fight yourself. there is no identity, then what's the concern cauze
we aint there yet and got a long way to go. says Joe to the toe.
dictate to me the words of your understanding-
but don't let me write them
paralyze me. falsify me. breathe me sickly.
you get only what's in yr brain--recycled. Tri-cycled. fed as waste.
an unconsciously performed exorcism. a point at which you pierce the skin and go: "Whoa!
hold up!" I've got him dilating on the fruit. lolling + bobbing on the couch. On drugs. heavy drugs. heavy encounters. Mined the mind. Couldn't clean out all the funky green selffullness, got some out, poured some other stuff in. Let's try it again. He needs it. Those sweeps/shocks made inward by the poison can be scary. But this is not so much a totalitarian nightmare-we think. a subtle dimension behind this flesh... which intervenes at appropriate intervals in "this" world (as if designating this/that is at all effective or necessary).

There are whispering elements in my cosmos today--communicative ones. little,
gruff ones. hello? We dance in and with the sleeve. The sleeve has made fun of us in social many ways.
with its garish sundollarbill. blue borders. The bookstore, that is. We are where we
were in the dream last night. The apprehensive inner. The sliverspace beckoning the sense
less vivid rendering are in that dream intensify!. All this shit is just happening to me. ineluctably. I make
my home on this mountain because i look like one. And if you're fascinated by what drips out
of a madman's pen on an afternoon, then maybe you should become one. But just don't try.

appeal to the archetypal for images of explanation , tales of wonderment, vivid throughput back
into its own substance. (and this all occurred in the time it took my tea to steep?)

8/98-taraval st, san francisco
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