Peter once asked the Lord how many times he was
required to forgive his brother who would sin against him. Then he supplied a possible answer to
his own question. He said, "Up to seven times?"
From this the Lord gave a concise answer, then He elaborated in detail on the importance
of forgiving those who sin against us. Dear reader, lay down your preconceived ideas regarding
this subject and read on with an open heart and willingness to receive what the Bible plainly
declares! Jesus' teaching on this particular subject, as in other areas, has been twisted and
modified to appease people who have "itching ears" and sinful desires! Don't let yourself
be deceived by anyone regarding the importance of forgiving others who sin against YOU.
This article will primarily focus in upon two key times the Lord touched on this subject
(Mt. 6:14,15 and Mt. 18:21-35).
In Mt. 6:14,15 the Lord emphatically stated eternal truth with the following words:
Those words about forgiving others who sin against us must have shocked the Lord's
disciples, for this is the very first time in the Bible that such was stated! In other words, we never
read of forgiving others to get our sins forgiven anywhere in the entire Old Testament! However,
the Lord changed all that when He gave us His teaching on this subject!
Please note that verses 14 and 15 are given specifically to those already saved! This is
apparent, for Jesus said, "your heavenly Father" (v. 14) and "your Father" (v. 15). Jesus never
stated the unsaved had Almighty God as their spiritual father. Their spiritual father is
clearly the devil (Jn. 8:42-44) and they are clearly "children of the devil" (1 Jn. 3:10). This
fact about the two spiritual families helps us see that the Lord's teaching on the subject of
forgiving others who sin against us is specifically directed to those who already have
experienced true regeneration (or salvation). This alone refutes those who would say one must
have a forgiving spirit toward others to begin with, before he can come to salvation, based on a
misunderstanding of this passage! If that was true, we would see such expressed elsewhere in the
New Testament in one of the various salvation sermons, but we never do! Such is never cited as
a prerequisite for initial salvation. Instead, the teaching of forgiving others so that the
Heavenly Father will forgive us is always directed to those who are truly saved already. This
fact is absolutely devastating to all of the perseverance of the saints (or eternal security) teachers
who would say all of our future sins are automatically forgiven after salvation! If one's future
sins were automatically (unconditionally) forgiven, then we would not have to forgive
others who sin against us to get our sins forgiven, as Jesus clearly taught! Somebody is
teaching falsely about this subject and we know it can't be the Lord!
So, according to Jesus, a person who has been saved by faith in Him must meet the
condition of forgiving others or their future sins committed after their salvation won't be
forgiven. This is the teaching which proceeded from the One who has the words of eternal life (Jn.
6:68). This is true grace teaching by the Lord Himself, who gave us Jn. 3:16 and 10:27-29!
Remember, "grace and truth came through Jesus Christ" (Jn. 1:17). This hated and
misrepresented teaching of the Lord's on forgiving others is under that umbrella.
Dear reader, can you see from all of this the spiritual danger intrinsically linked to the
teaching of "once saved, always saved"? This should be apparent, even at this point, but there is
much more that needs to be said, especially on the subject of forgiving others so that we can get
forgiven.
In Mt. 18:21-35, we have the most exhaustive teaching in the Bible on this subject of
forgiving others who sin against us. In those fifteen verses, many things are observed as one
would ponder them. Some observations are:
How the devil hates the light that shines forth from the Word of God. This is so because
he wants to damn as many as possible through deception, but God's Word is a major hindrance to
his lies. With this in mind, it should be apparent why you have seldom, if ever, heard this clear
truth regarding the importance of forgiving others, as cited in these passages.
Now that you know that you must forgive others who sin against you or your heavenly
Father won't forgive you, what does it mean to "forgive"? The word actually means "let go" or
"put away." This is the same word found in Jn. 4:28 and 1 Cor. 7:11:
In other words, what that woman did with her water jar, and what a husband must not do to his
wife are what we must do about any grudges, feelings of resentment and revenge toward those
who sin against us so that we can get our sins forgiven after initial salvation. In other words,
leave those things go. Don't harbor bitterness or a desire for revenge on those who have sinned
against you! (Vengeance is God's. Let Him repay. See Rom. 12:19.)
Beyond a shadow of doubt, your spiritual enemy, the devil, will try to get you into a
state of unforgiveness so that he can destroy you! He will remind you of past hurts that
occurred years ago, if that will work for him. Seemingly he did this to David using a past painful
incident with Shimei (2 Sam. 16:5-14; 19:18-23 cf. 1 Kings 2:8,9). Remember, anything goes, as
far as he is concerned! Please know that the devil is both aggressive and malicious to the core. He
is capable of giving us thoughts and he continues to do so every day! Regarding this, it would be
good for you to get in the daily habit of asking yourself the question: What kind of
thoughts or suggestions has the devil been giving me today? You can detect his destructive
thoughts and suggestions by comparing such that has been coming into your mind with the Word
of God. If thoughts and suggestions that have been coming into your mind do not come under the
category of simple obedience to God's Word, they are from the Tempter! Do NOT ponder or
entertain such thoughts, even for a moment! To "resist" these thoughts is to resist the devil.
Your enemy is trying to get you to ponder them long enough so that you will act them out. Resist
the devil's temptations.
When the devil gives you the thought (temptation) of some past hurt, trying to get you in
(or keep you in) unforgiveness, he is trying to initiate something in your heart and mind that will
later destroy you spiritually, unless you resist him. Again, don't yield to these thoughts. You can
"resist" the devil when this type of attack comes by praying for the person(s) who sinned against
you (Lk. 6:27)! Stephen prayed for those who were killing him (Acts 7:60). Praying for your
offenders will come much easier, if you remember your "ten thousand talent" debt God canceled
at your salvation and that offense against you was only a "hundred denarii"! As cited earlier, godly
people from the past have been sinned against just like you have, even worse! This, of course,
does not lessen the hurt from cruel acts and/or words that came from a trusted friend or loved
one, perhaps even someone you greatly helped who later turned on you! Christians have been
greatly hurt and totally betrayed in the past by their spouse, parent(s), brothers and/or sisters,
children, grandchildren, neighbors, best friends, co-workers, teachers, boss, etc. (Consider how
people turned on Jesus. The same crowd that He fed, healed and taught later cried, "Crucify
him.") In spite of how people might treat us, Jesus said we must forgive. Ask Him to remove all
resentment from your heart. Wash out those hurtful thoughts from your mind by spending quality
time in the Bible and by listening to gospel music. To hum or sing Christian songs to yourself
throughout the day might mean victory or defeat in this area, when certain attacks come!
To say you can't forgive is to show yourself already completely deceived by the
devil! Not only can you forgive, you must forgive. Forgiving others doesn't come easy for
anyone offended, especially since the devil will be trying his best to get you in
unforgiveness. Use the spiritual weapons God has given you that are mighty through Him (2 Cor.
10:4) and resist the devil's temptations to be unforgiving. Don't go by your feelings to gauge
your own forgiveness of another.
Furthermore, please know that it is possible to forgive another and yet not trust that
person to the point where they can hurt you again or even worse than before! There are some
people in this world who we won't ever be able to completely reconcile with -- who will continue
to hate and hurt you and me as often as they can. Let's face it, such does exist. There is Biblical
evidence of such which will soon be cited. We forgive such people, that is, we harbor no
bitterness or desire for revenge, but we better not trust this unique type of person. David never
trusted Saul's invitation to return to Jerusalem, even after Saul seemingly repented (1 Sam.
26:21-27:1). We can also assume that Paul forgave Alexander the metalworker, who did him a
great deal of harm, but he still warned Timothy of this same man (2 Tim. 4:14,15)! Apparently,
Paul didn't think Alexander was going to change.
Also, to limit the seriousness of unforgiveness to only being a hindrance to your prayers,
as some teachers do, is to dangerously understate the consequences of it. This is usually done
from Mk. 11:25. That verse says:
Clearly, we see here as in the aforementioned verses, we block our own forgiveness by
being unforgiving! Also, we should check our own hearts for any unforgiveness as often as we
pray! In other words, this should be a constant area of self-examination.
Furthermore, don't think that your refusal to forgive others who sin against you will
merely hinder your fellowship with God! This is never stated as the consequence of refusing
to forgive (Mt. 6:14,15; 18:21-35; Mk. 11:25; Lk. 6:37; 11:4), but is another lie from the
devil to lessen the seriousness of unforgiveness! DO NOT BE DECEIVED ABOUT THIS.
YOU MUST FORGIVE OTHERS TO GET YOUR SINS FORGIVEN. With this in mind,
ponder James 1:14,15:
Note: spiritual death is the final result of sin, which all began with sinful desires and
temptations. This is exemplified with the Prodigal (Lk. 15:24,32 cf. Rom. 8:13). Since spiritual
death is the end result of unforgiven sin, then to have forgiveness denied to us because of
our refusal to forgive others has to be spiritually fatal. This has to be why some Christians
become cold and "fall away" after a period of time with the Lord. When this occurs, the
devil has been successful with his schemes. Don't let this happen to you!
Furthermore, though unforgiveness is not clearly mentioned in Gal. 5:15, certainly such is
understood:
Please note that Paul stated they could be "destroyed" by each other through this! With
this in mind, the devil must have great delight in local church splits.
Also, Heb. 12:14 reads:
Besides being holy, we are to "make every effort to live in peace with all men," that is, as
long as we don't sacrifice truth or Christian values to get this "peace." This is how hard we should
try to avoid the state of unforgiveness or anything that might lead to such.
In conclusion, to be unforgiving is to: anger God (Mt. 18:34), to give the devil an
advantage in your life (2 Cor. 2:10,11), to conform to this wicked generation (2 Tim. 3:3), to
assure you will receive no mercy on Judgment Day (Mt. 18:30-33 cf. Jam. 2:12,13), not to walk
in love (1 Cor. 13:5), to stop God from forgiving you (Mt. 6:14,15) and to negate your own
salvation (Mt. 18:32,34,35; cf. Jam. 1:14,15).
Remember, for you to be unforgiving towards another will not destroy the person who
wronged you! Instead, IT WILL DESTROY YOU, THE PERSON WHO WON'T
FORGIVE! This is why the devil frequently uses it against the offended party. Unforgiveness
has to be one of the devil's most subtle and destructive satanic temptations, but few
seemingly know the seriousness of it because of the false teachings that, especially, come
through the "once saved, always saved" teachers! To continue to walk with the Lord and have
spiritual life, we must forgive others who sin against us. Forgiving others is as important as
getting your own sins forgiven, for without the former, the latter won't occur, according to
Jesus.
This page hosted by "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
(1) Jesus never even suggested that some of His disciples would not be sinned against in
this world. This is very basic, but nonetheless, an important point to stress. Dear reader, YOU
are not the only one who has been "stabbed in the back" by others who should never have
treated you badly! (I once heard a preacher make this point well by saying, if you are alive in this
world for five minutes, you have already been stabbed in the back by someone! Though this is an
exaggeration, he made this point well.) Without exception, everyone alive today has been sinned
against multiple times, even if they are saved. Furthermore, if you continue to live much
longer, you'll soon be sinned against again! This age is rampant with this kind of thing. There
is no avoiding being mistreated by others, if you stay around people. Many godly people were
unjustly sinned against: JOSEPH by his own brothers, Potiphar's wife and the chief cupbearer
(Gen. 37-50); MOSES by his brother and sister (Num. 12:1-13); and DAVID by King Saul who
personally tried to kill him more than once (1 Sam. 18:11; 19:10) are just three examples.
(2) At the point of our salvation, our mountainous sin debt that was forgiven is likened to
"ten thousand talents." When someone sins against us, it is likened unto only "a hundred denarii."
That is about a 600,000 to 1 ratio between these two values! In other words, we offended God
600,000 times more severely over the years by sinning against Him, than people do when
they sin against us!
(3) The man who received personal forgiveness in Mt. 18:21-35, but refused to forgive the
man who owed him a mere "hundred denarii," was labeled a "wicked servant"! This same
description is used in Mt. 25:26 and there we learn that such people will be thrown into the
darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth (25:30)!
(4) The same way that "wicked servant" was treated is how the heavenly Father will treat
YOU unless you forgive your brother from your heart, v. 35! God expects, even demands, those
who received incredible mercy from Him which came at the point of their salvation to
afterwards show mercy by forgiving others.
"Then leaving her water jar, the woman went to the town and said to the people...."
"But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a
husband must not divorce his wife."
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that
your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
"But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.
Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives
birth to DEATH."
"If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by
each other."
"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one
will see the Lord."
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