Hypatia's Library Tales

I hope you find the humor in these situations as I do:

My biggest pet peeve is when a person walks up to the check-out counter, reads the sign that says, "You MUST present your library card when checking out any library materials", then asks if they need their library card. Well, DUH, people!

This isn't really a pet peeve, but it's kind of funny. People often walk up to me when I'm shelving books and ask me if I work at the library. Sometimes they even look at my nametag before asking if I work here. I've been tempted to reply, "Why no! I just wear this nametag for fun!" But I know better and I really don't want to get in trouble. Funny thoughts like that just pop into my head once in a while.

This one requires a little setting up. Every year we let a copier company put one of their machines in our lobby during tax season. We have a sign we hang over the copier telling people to use exact change--one nickel and one dime. One day this guy made a whole bunch of copies and came over to the Circulation Desk where I was working. He said, "I've made all these copies. When is the machine going to start giving me change back?" You see, he had used quarters instead of one nickel and one dime, and the machine doesn't give change. I told him that, and he asked why the "Use Correct Change" light wasn't on. I didn't know, but I asked him if he'd seen the sign about correct change. He got real testy and said there wasn't a sign, so I walked over and put my finger on it. He told me we should inform the people when they come in instead of just hanging a sign. Writing this now, I can't help but be reminded of a song a friend told me about. The singer thinks stupid people should wear a sign. I think maybe this guy should too.

Very often, we get people who come in just to use the restroom. Apparently some of these people have trouble telling up from down. We tell them, "Go downstairs, turn right, and walk all the way to the wall. You'll see the doors to the restrooms." You might have trouble believing how many people go up the stairs instead of down, or turn left instead of right. One woman even wound up in the Children's room, which is down the stairs and straight back through the double doors.

I've said enough about other people, so here's one about me. This creepy guy was sitting in the armchair in the lobby waiting for his friend who was using the pay phone. I remember the guy on the phone was trying to tell the phone company that he couldn't have made those long distance calls because he was in jail at the time. Anyway I was trying not to eavesdrop, but it was difficult because the guy was practically yelling into the phone. I went to sit down at the desk and just hit the edge of my chair, which happens to be the rolling kind. My hind end hit the floor so hard I was almost in tears. To make it worse, both guys had seen me, and the one in the armchair said, "Ya fall down?" Again I was tempted to make an odd reply. I just said, "Yeah." But I really wanted to say, "I was trying to do a back-flip and I missed."

One day the drain in the women's restroom backed up and water was all over the floor, and we had to close both restrooms. We have signs stating the restrooms are closed on the restroom doors, the front door, and at the Circulation Desk. I was shelving near the restrooms when a boy came up to me and told me the bathroom door was stuck. I said, "Yes. It's locked." He asked me why, and I asked if he had read the sign. He hadn't.

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