TootSweet's piece of Mind
The Right to Bare Breasts
Well, one would not think it was possible, but the Ontario Supreme court,
it all of it's bureaucratic wisdom, having put their best heads together,
managed to come up with one mind amongst them. Said mind agreeing that a
woman has the right to walk down any Ontario street with her breasts naked
a jaybirds.
Eat your hearts out America. Your ancestors may have fought and died for
the right to bare arms, but we have the right to bare our boobs. No, not
our village idiots and politicians, not THOSE boobs! We're talking about
our physiological anatomically correct breasts...yeah that's right!
Bossoms! Bazooms! Gazongas! Large ones and small ones. Perky
pointy-due-north ones and round ripe melon-like dipping into the southern
hemisphere ones - we can bare them all.
Sure, it's gonna have repercussions, aside from the boom in American
tourist dollars. Finally, we have an attraction that will bring in the
tourists during our dreaded Canadian winters. Men will pay big bucks to
see naked women that are cold! We stand on guard for thee!
Men will no longer have to buy a woman dinner just in the hopes of getting
a glimpse of her treasure chest. Now he'll know right off, if he's going
after a sunken treasure or a "you-got-a-hope-chest" Of course car
insurance rates will sky rocket, what with the drivers being a tad
distracted. It could be the end of "no fault" insurance in Ontario,
substituted with "no bra" insurance. Yes, it's a giant leap forward for
womankind, and we all know from the movies and tv programs for the
sexually impaired, men just love naked women leaping forward, especially
when they run it in slow motion!
But will we stop there? No sireee! We do not want you men to feel
slighted. We're gonna fight for you guys too! Yep! You betcha! We want you
guys to be able "hang loose" too! Stand up and show us those schlongs
boys! If ever there was a time to rise to the occasion and be
counted..it's now! Where e'er you may be - let those balls swing free!
And not only that...we want you guys to have the right to urinate anywhere
you like! Yeah! That's it! Why should you guys just be allowed spew up and
spit out stomach juices and other bodily semi-fluids all over the
sidewalks and roadways? Why shouldn't you be able to urinate at will,
anywhere you want to? On any tree? On any bush? If dogs can, why can't
men?
Wait a minute... men DO urinate where ever and when ever they want to. We
don't need to fight for that right, We just have to be careful where we
step! Never mind!
Now that I think about it, riding the bus to work the other hot steamy
Monday morning, and watching those sweaty beer gutted hairy backed
whale-out-of-water males get on that bus bare chested, with those cute
little pieces of lint trapped in all that chest hair, as they sat across
from me for the long humid ride across town, I think the equality that we
women were fighting for, wasn't for the right to bare our chests, but for
a law to make men cover theirs!
- The Toots!
