A Matter of Decency
A recent incident, wherein a spurned lover published E-Mail sent to him by the lover who
rejected him, awakened a deep sense of outrage and a very real sense of discomfort in me. I watched with horror as I realized anyone's E-Mail, including mine, could have been treated that way, a fear expressed by many who witnessed the incident. Something we took for granted, our faith that no matter what happened in our friendships and relationships with people on here certain aspects of our privacy would be preserved, is no longer true. This is going to have long term and chilling effects on the quality of communication and the level of trust on here to judge by the reactions I have seen.
Does anyone have a right to publish someone's E-mail to them in a public forum? Are there any circumstances that would make this an acceptable course of action? None that I can conjure up justify this horrible breach of trust. The arguments put forth in the instance I cite were:
1. It was to serve as a warning to other potential victims
2. The mail belonged to the recipient since it was sent to him, therefore he had a right to publish it.
Regarding the first, people can be informed of another's actions without publishing their personal and private mail. In the matter of the second, does it follow that a person who videotapes a sex act with a partner has a right to make public the video without the partner's consent on the grounds that right belongs to the person who has the camera?
Are there laws to govern this? As far as I know, there aren't. The only laws which we cyber citizens can live by are the laws of common decency. If written law is indeed necessary, I can only refer to the first of the ten commandments. Do unto others... It is reprehensible to publish something that was entrusted to you alone, whether you do it in the newspapers, on tv or on a webpage.
We are a civilized society and it behooves us all to behave in a civilized manner. Such a dramatic breach of this behavior exacts a price from all of us. For onlookers who will never again feel comfortable or safe about exposing themselves honestly in E-mail and the person besmirched who pays in humiliation, public degradation and the pain of violated trust, the prices are high indeed. But worse than that is the price paid by the exposer, for in the end it tells us far more about him, his character and how he holds trust, respect and honor in his heart, than anything revealed about the letter writer. He has robbed each of us of yet another piece of our innocence and that is, indeed, a small tragedy.
- Iris
