A Friend Astray
I looked around the other day
And saw a friend, begun to stray.
She wasn't like she used to be,
Though not much different than me.
And so I worried, but said not.

I saw her with some other friends
Who did things that had no good ends.
I saw her look down to the ground
When I was driving by.
And on her face,
Shame and disgrace.
She wanted that
I saw her not.
And so I worried, on and on.

In my heart I felt the fear
That our friendship's end drew near.
For she thought I the one who thought
She shouldn't do as she ought not.

Although I never said she shouldn't,
I made it clear that, well, I wouldn't.
And so we have thus grown apart
And now the pain tears at my heart.

Well, now I don't know what to do
To say, be careful, we love you?
To let her go her merry way,
And hope that she come back someday?
That she come back unscathed someday,
And find true peace from God.

Or should I try to talk to her
And tell her how I feel?
For once I did, and she withdrew,
In anger, shut me out.
And so I worry, yet again.

I often falter from the path,
I lose my footing sure.
I try to step back on again
And stray from it no more.
I wish to tell her how it's hard,
But that if you just try,
You'll reach the trail's end someday
If you believe and try.

I see my friend along the path,
She's walking on the side.
She steps away, and looks around
And sees no one in sight.
She steps onto another path,
The opposite from me.
She turns around
To look back at
The life she used to lead;
She looks at me
And thinks I'm strange
To be the way I am.

It hurts me so
To see and know
That I have helped her not.
I want to just reach out and say
"Come back, I'll lead you home!"
But who am I to give advice?
I guess, a hypocrite.
But I worry more for her than me,
For God will lead me back.
But if she turns her back on Him
And also onto me,
Where shall she turn to find a friend
To help her find the way?

I fear she turns to other things
To ease her aching, empty heart.
To other so-called friends of hers
That lead her farther yet
To ways of life and things to do
Which she will soon regret.
And so I worry, on and on.

Perhaps I worry much too much,
But yet, the signs aren't small.
My friend and I have grown apart,
Shall we return at all?

And how can I point out to her
The things she shouldn't do?
When I myself do so much wrong,
I wish I didn't do.
A slip of tongue, a rude remark
Can cut her like a knife.
Or even in a simple thought,
I can be oh so cruel at times.
So thoughtless, and ought not.

I hope she'll find the path again,
I hope that I can help.
For there is just the one true way--
The straight, steep path of God.
I hope that I stay on this path
And follow it through life
And think myself not more than them
For am I why they walk it not?

A friend's a very special thing,
And that I surely know.
So if you see a friend astray,
Help her, judge her not.

I feel that this poem requires some explanation. I wrote this a few years ago when I was frustrated--I was afraid a friend was getting into trouble. What I expressed in this poem was a hope for her safety and happiness, although it's taken me a while to realize this. Looking back, I see how I was mistaken. My friend was not bad, she was just different than me. She may have made some mistakes, but so have I. And I think my mistake of judging her was worse, and much greater a sin, than anything she did. Now, I realize that she and I may hold different opinions, but that doesn't make me superior. God loves us both - and not more or less because of our actions. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more, or anything that will make him love us less. [1 Peter 3:18 "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God."]; [Romans 5:8 "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us"]; [Ephesians 2:8-10 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."] "Good works" do nothing to help us obtain God's favor, but they follow naturally as we experience the love of Christ. And I do see God's love in my friend. Also, she can know God and still make mistakes--I often mess up, and I'm a Christian. But that's to be expected. Christians are never perfect, but we want to imitate Christ to better ourselves and spread love in the world (love comes from God--[1 John 4;7-8 "Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Eberyone who loves has been born of God and know God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love]).

Of course, that doesn't mean sin is okay [1 Thessalonians 4:7 "For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."]. But sometimes we sin anyway. And God will forgive us [Colossians 2:13-14 "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross."]. We must forgive ourselves, learning and moving on.

I have learned a lot about life from my friend. She is genuine, not a hypocrite. Sometimes, I am a hypocrite; hypocrisy is an ongoing struggle for me. But I think that, as I study the bible more closely and interpret it intelligently, I am able to see that judging others is totally against Christianity as Jesus presented it, although judgement is practiced in many organized churches. Oh well! So, if you feel that you're doing as God wants and your friend is not, sit back and reflect. Look at the problems in your own life, and try to fix them. Simply be a friend, without judging. Be there for your friends always: love them, support them, be a shoulder to lean on. If they ask for advice, help the best you can. And pray for the sensitivity and clarity needed to not hurt the ones you care about.


Go back to my home page .
Be sure to check out my page on religious hypocrisy -- it relates to how it is wrong for Christians to judge others.


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