I don’t understand what thrill people get by throwing others in Lake Michigamme.

Three of my lovable male co-counselors had a blast throwing me in the lake the first year I was a counselor. One day after getting soaked three times, I said, "Someday I am going to throw all of you in the lake!" Of course I’d have to grow a foot and gain a hundred pounds first. Maybe that was why they laughed at me when I said this.

For some reason, there is something inside male co-counselors’ brains that tell them, "It is very amusing to throw people in the lake!" I don’t understand it. I just don’t. I’ve come up with some theories, though.

Throwing People in the Lake Theory #1: It’s fun to get people’s clothes wet. Examination of Theory: What is the best way to soak a person and their clothes? Get them wet via the lake. Conclusion of Theory: False. This theory has one flaw. The day I got thrown in the lake three times was when we were all eating lunch at the beach. I was in my swimsuit. No wet clothes were involved, and I had to change anyway unless I wanted to spend rest hour in my swimsuit.

Throwing People in the Lake Theory #2: The throwers do this to actually upset people. Examination of Theory: Getting thrown in the lake is not necessarily a pleasant event. It’s downright cold sometimes, and there are icky creatures swimming around in there. What better revenge than making a person freeze in gross lake water? Conclusion of Theory: False. The people who threw me in were my friends. Nobody I didn’t really know or didn’t like threw me in the lake. On the other hand, there were some counselors who were a bit, uh, what’s the phrase, more annoying than Barney whom I knew my friends would have loved to throw in the lake just to tick them off. But they never succumbed to this urge. Usually the throwing people in the lake thing is done in good fun. We always laughed about it, and they all let me give them big wet hugs afterwards.

Throwing People in the Lake Theory #3: Throwers do this for the kids’ amusement. Examination of Theory: Kids think the whole throwing people in the lake thing is soooooooo funny. They love the counselors who do this and beg them to ‘get’ their own counselors. Conclusion of Theory: Possible. It’s fun to be known as one of the favorite counselors and this is one way to a camper’s heart.

Throwing People in the Lake Theory #4: The guys think that this somehow demonstrates their buffness and masculinity. Examination of Theory: Slinging female counselors over their shoulders and effortlessly dunking them into the lake does seem like something out of a beach movie. Playing the big, strong hero is probably pretty appealing to some guys. Conclusion of Theory: Probably true, but guess what guys? We don’t buy it. I am five feet two inches (minus a quarter) and weigh……………..uh, well, we won’t go into that. It doesn’t take Hercules to pick me up, walk a few feet, and toss me in. Maybe in some cases this proves something, but not in mine.

I haven’t completely figured it out yet. Maybe I will someday.

There are some campers who went to Elementary 3 in 1996 who still talk to me in church about my one unplanned encounter with the lake that week.

Sometimes you have a group of campers who will do anything for you. They treat you like a queen. They love you more than anyone else at camp and are true blue until the end. I had nine such children in my cabin that week…………….until Bear showed up. Then loyalty went to pieces.

I had been quite content to stay out of the lake that week. The year before could have been called ‘Jenifer Takes an Involuntary Swim Thanks to Three of Her Co-counselors’ but last year, only one of the three was back and he had a different swim hour. So I thought I was safe for the week.

Bear (who, for the record, was one of the three lovable throwers from the previous year) couldn’t counsel that week but came to visit everybody on the last night into the morning the kids left. Well, right in the middle of the final cabin clean up when we were supposed to pack our things and take the kids’ stuff down to the fire pit to wait for their parents, Bear came to our cabin. The girls were excited beyond belief and thought it was the coolest thing that he came to visit us at Ishpeming Cabin.

They took pictures and had him write in their newsletters. You would have thought the guy was Brad Pitt or something the way they carried on. Then he dropped the bomb. "I didn’t get to do something this week, you guys." The girls looked genuinely sad that poor Bear hadn’t gotten to participate in some unnamed activity. I thought he was going to say that he didn’t get to eat any UDC or hike to Ol’ Baldy. I wasn’t prepared for him to say, "I didn’t get to throw Jen in the lake."

I knew I was in trouble before the girls started yelling, "Do it! Do it!" They completely turned on me. I had begun gimp project after gimp project after gimp project for them. I had brought them to the nurse when they were sick. I had taken them to the bathroom five billion times. I had kept their precious canteen cards safe for an entire week. And now they were yelling, "Do it! Do it!"

He would have done it without any coaxing from the kids, but egging him on certainly helped. When he picked me up and started down the hill and they realized he was serious they grabbed their cameras and ran to tell the girls in the Neguanee what was going on. Some kid actually took pictures with my camera, as if I wanted pictures of myself getting thrown in the lake and the bad hair day that followed.

I don’t think my cabin co-counselor liked it very much at all. She kept yelling, "Hey you guys, come back! We’re supposed to be cleaning up the cabin! Hey! Come back!" The whole time she was saying this I was thinking, Stop telling me to come back. I can’t really do anything about this. Then when we got back, she made Bear help us bring the kids’ suitcases down to the fire pit, "since he wasted our time."

I said good-bye to each of my campers, and one of the girl’s fathers asked her what she did that was fun. She thought about this for a moment, and I wondered what she would pick out of the entire week. She finally settled on, "Bear threw my counselor in the lake."

Come on! That was not the most fun thing our group did all week.