May 10, 2001
The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Jeremiah 1:4-5
The thoughts I share today aren't totally my own, in part they come from a commentary I was reading earlier.. as I read about Jeremiah's call it made me think differently about it and about some things in my own life. The author in this book points out that often God's call is a intrusion... it's uninvited... God just steps in and tells them the plan he has for them... many, like Jeremiah feel ill prepared for the task (see Moses, Isaiah, Amos, Ezekiel etc.). Nonetheless, God calls and promises to equip them... he has decided they are right for the task. In Jeremiah's case he was called to a particularly difficult prophetic life, as mentioned before during his entire ministry he was unpopular, insulted, many tried to kill him, God had him not marry (16:2), he wasn't allowed into a house of feasting or joy (16:8). Jeremiah endured great personal struggle through no fault of his own. He endured the kind of life's circumstances that might make me step back and wonder if God was mad at me... did I do something wrong? Am I being punished for something? In Jeremiah's case the answer was.. No, God had simply decided he was the right man for the task at hand, despite Jeremiah's personal feelings on the matter.
It caused me to step back and looked at times of personal challenge a little differently, I know that God allows suffering and hard times for many reasons, all of them good but I thought more about the fact that God calls us to what we go through. He certainly doesn't lead us to sin but when we have sinned and messed up our lives he is the one that leads us out and through our recovery process, for those things we had no control over he does not stop them from happening but he leads us through the healing process... the point is God leads us through it. He determines the struggles I will face in my journey both those I need to for my own heart to be right before him but also those that enable me to be relatable, to be someone that can help others with similar struggles. It's long been a truth I am aware of.. I can't help people grow in something I've never really struggled through, but the things I've had to really wrestle through to understand and to stay close to God... those I have a lot to say about. I admire women like Sharon E. and Sherry L. who take the challenges of their past, the challenges of their recovery (an ongoing process) and turn around to use those to help others. It's not the main reason we fight through hard times but it is one of the great side benefits. I have faced some rather intense feelings and challenges of late in my own life... to where I wonder what is going on in my own head.. I don't always understand and it is such a battle to work through the feelings and stay close to God's side. What I read this morning has helped me to look at these things a little differently... I don't understand what's going on or why I think and feel these things. At times I do wonder if I've done something wrong? Is God unhappy with me but I look back and I know that this entire journey was brought to the forefront by God.. left to my own I would never have touched it. I saw no value in unearthing things of the past and have fought long and hard, sometime to my own detriment, to make it all go away again. It's certainly not the same as a prophetic call but I believe that God does call us to deal with specific things in our lives and will allow us t go through specific challenges in the process.. first and foremost just for us, for our relationship with him... a secondary benefit is that at later points we are uniquely suited to help others in similar circumstances. It's often struck me that Gordon Ferguson is a remarkable teacher... certainly he has incredible biblical knowledge but more than that he has so much personal experience that he shares that we can relate, we understand and are helped. His incredible effectiveness has come at a cost... times of great personal challenge through which he has overcome.