January 31, 2001
More a hard look at myself than a glimpse of God today....
After all the things I've studied out and shared with others lately you think I'd have this down by now but... the reality is I really miss the boat some days. Yesterday I had a major disappointment when some special plans for this weekend fell through and my response was, in complete and total insecurity, to question what God was doing and to wonder if he cared for me. The answer to my prayer some weeks back that set these plans in place felt like a blessing from God and the subsequent change left me feeling like a blessing was being removed i.e. unloved by God. Wrong!!!!! Fortunately, being loved by God, watched over, cared for is not about circumstance... it's not about feeling either (whether I 'feel' like God loves me today or not)... it is fact or better yet a promise!! Circumstances in my life change constantly but who I am to God and the promise that he loves with an everlasting love does not and has nothing to do with circumstances. I can be secure that whatever goes on God is working for the good!
"And we know that In everything God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his good purpose" --Romans 8:28
That's really all I need... although I'm not always at a place where I can see that right away nor do I have the right perspective initially.