Omigosh – I’ve become a suburbanite!

May 13, 1998

 For most of my adult life, I've lived in a succession of apartments. Along the way, I developed an apartment-dweller's antagonistic attitude toward those who live in nice homes on manicured streets in snooty subdivisions ... primarily because many of them seemed to bear the same antagonism toward us apartmentites. And I won't debate that envy certainly had a part in that attitude.
 I guess the notion which always made me snarl the most was the conception that apartment living is a lesser lifestyle.
 I had the chance to reflect on both sides of that argument as I parked it in a lawn chair on the back porch of our new house early Sunday evening, two days' worth of the brutal, back-breaking process of moving completed.
 There were sounds of lawnmowers running, the scent of freshly-cut grass and backyard barbecues wafting through the air. I kept waiting for my Mom to step around the corner of the house and mention: "David, that yard won't mow itself!"
 All those years of living in apartments, I never once thought that cutting grass or gardening could be any fun. Peg and I spent the better part of an hour  Sunday talking about which bushes will come up and which bushes will replace them, where the chihuahuas' castle will be built and so on, just like we'd never lived in an apartment .
 Peg was all abuzz  with details of how two of the new neighbors had stopped by to say hi during the day. With a few exceptions, I only remember shouting at neighbors to "Turn that (bleeping) thing down!" when we lived in apartments.
 (One notable exception would be the two young Mormon missionaries who'd pitched in during the heaviest moving Saturday; were it not for them, I think both my brother and myself would be laid out on a slab somewhere. My eternal thanks, guys!)
 Needless to say, both Peg and I were overjoyed at the prospect of not only having multiple bedrooms, but two full bathrooms and a garage to store all the junk we've collected. It was all I could do to keep myself from hitting the hardware store Sunday evening and buying a load of tools to hang on the walls. I tried to conceive how we'd ever stuffed all that stuff into an apartment.
 I could clearly hear the noises of children at play — one group jumping rope, another playing "hide-and-seek." It took me back to my own childhood, when we did much the same thing in and around the neighborhood in Deer Park.
 Living in apartments in years since, it seems to me that we always had kids playing somewhere; they just seemed a heckuva lot noisier and less organized.
 The lonesome beagle of my new neighbor was sticking his nose through a small hole in the fence, plaintively whining for attention from his new neighbors — my chihuahuas, who were too busy investigating the foliage to realize they have a new playmate to exchange doghouse-gossip with.
 Having a yard for the boys to romp in is kind of unique; they've been apartment-dwellers like myself, limited to a confined space and an occasional trip to the park. We recently added chihuahua No.3 — a 7-week-old puppy named Sugar Baby — and I dunno, it just seemed funnier to watch her leaping through the grass to nip Rusty on the tail than it would have been to watch the same scene taking place in an over-crowded apartment.
  Heaving a contented sigh while sipping on a cold one, I decided that this living-in-a-house thing might not be too bad, after all.
 Ohmigosh — I've become a suburbanite!
 

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