This page talks a lot about what to do about your parents. Should you tell them? Should you keep your religion a secret until you move out? How can you tell them? And if you can't tell them, how can you hide it?

If you're thinking of whether or not to tell your parents, consider what your parents will do. Will they

• Say "Oh, how wonderful! We're behind you all the way!" (I hate to say it, but for the majority of kids out there, this is the least likely scenario.)
• Say, with a dubious look at their offspring, "Well, I guess it's your religion." Be prepared to have to teach them about what Wicca is. (Probably one of the most likely scenes. May be preceded by brief fit of parental disapproval.)
• Scream "Oh my God, my child is possessed! Get the priest!" while searching for holy water and/or silver bullets. These are the Fundementalists who will threaten you with being kicked out of the house, or in the very worst cases, threaten to kill you. I'm not kidding--there are people out there like that. Unfortunately, these are more common than the ones who will be ecstatically happy for you.

Which category do your parents fit into? If it is category #3, then prepare to live in your broom closet. It's a little cramped, but it's much safer. If it's #2, then it's probably okay to come out of the broom closet--but gradually. Don't, whatever you do, come skipping down the stairs in full ritual garb and say cheerfully, "Hiya, guess what? I'm a Witch! It's a full moon tonight, so I'll be back by dawn!" No no no no no! This is what will give your parents a heart attack, not to mention convincing them that you can't be trusted and that your religion is obviously not valid. If your parents are in category #1, then you're incredibly lucky. Go talk to them about Paganism.

Telling your parents:

• Don't spring it on them out of the blue.
• Don't attack their religion--it makes them defensive and a lot less open-minded.
• Do introduce them to idea that Paganism is a valid religion. Use the excuse of a book report, a study of religions, something like that, to talk to them about different world religions. Say casually, "I heard that Pagans/ Wiccans believe_____." Be prepared to back your statement up if you say something like this. Leave "An Excerpt From the U.S. Military Chaplain's Handbook" printout on the kitchen table. Find ways to get you parents to learn about Wicca. Then, tell them. Try to tell them when they are in a fairly good mood.
• Whatever you do, stay calm. If you can keep your calm through their tirades, you will appear mature and capable. This will score points.
• Remember that your parents are probably only freaking out because they love you. They're afraid for you. They want you to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. To them, Wicca really does not appear to be the best way to achieve that.
• Don't go Goth, or if you are, tone it down. Remember, you're trying to look responsible and well-informed. Parents tend to hate the Goth look. When they were growing up, only troublemakers and weirdos dressed in all-black. Hey, I'm a Goth. I should know. People treat you differently when you dress like a fortune-teller instead of a priestess. (Which may also indicate that cutting back on the jangly jewelry is good.)
• Don't get ruffled about the teasing you will get over the next few weeks/months/years. (If anyone has any thoughts on what to do about obnoxious siblings, speak up. I don't know dick about that--my only sister was a Witch, too.)
• Keep your voice level when you tell them. Screeching will not impress your parents, and it will make them more likely to consider you not mature enough to make your own decisions.
• Have handy at least one FAQ for them to read when they ask the standard questions: "What do you believe? I mean, don't you worship Satan?". You may think you can tell them without the aid of an FAQ, but believe me, your brain will go blank. It's happened. (The Witchvox FAQ is good.)
• If they turn out to be #3 type parents instead, you may want to say "Joke! Joke! I'm just kidding!" and pray that they fall for it. Rabid Catholic parents can be dangerous. (Not all Catholic parents. I've gotten a few complaints about my choice of words. One of my good friends is Catholic, and she's been quite decent about the whole thing.)

If your parents are #3 types, or if you just aren't comfortable with telling them, then you will want to stay in the broom closet. This is not easy, but it isn't terribly hard, either. Tips for those who are in the broom closet include:

• Keep the number of candles you burn in rituals to a minimum. Some of you may not be able to use candles; in this case, you might use rocks or herbs in your rituals instead of candles.
• You can use scented candles and say it's because you like the smell if your parents are borderline about letting you burn candles.
• Conduct your rituals quietly; the God and Goddess will still hear you if you whisper.
• Don't burn a lot of incense. Trust me, parents can smell it and they will come investigate--and nothing spoils the feel of a ritual like someone sticking their head into the room and saying, "Are you burning something? I told you not to burn anything!"
• Never wear your pentacle outside your shirt if you are a broom-closet Wiccan--unless you have a dam' good explanation of why you're wearing a "Satanic Symbol" that doesn't involve telling them that you're not a Satanist, you're a Wiccan, and it's a Wiccan symbol.

For teens both in and out of the broom closet, your altar will be a sore spot. Your parents don't want to have a major constant visual reminder of your wacky religion. You might want to use a nightstand or your desk; you might have to use a t.v. tray on cinderblocks. When you're a teen Wiccan, you work with what you have. Don't put huge statues of the Goddess and the God on a table draped in a black shroud. That is guaranteed to freak your parents out. Broom closet kids can use a few small items--say, two or three candles, flowers or sticks on holidays, a rock or two. Be creative. One Pagan author mentions that at her job, she keeps a small square of cloth on which she's placed a crystal (earth), feather (air), and candle (fire and water, and it doesn't have to be huge to be effective).

If you want to place reminders of the elements at the four Quarters, there are a lot of options. Water? Why not a waterbottle against the West wall? Air? Your computer, radio, or television in the East. Earth? A potted plant in the North will not only work quite nicely, it may attract faeries, or you could just happen to store a bottle of vitamins in that Quarter. Fire? A candle, a jar of cinnamon, a dragon sculpture or picture. Any of these would work. Heck, you could take a card from each of the four suits and tuck it under a piece of furniture.

My current altar is non-existent, thanks to the fact that we're doing the whole involuntary remodeling gig--a colony of ants in my wall. However, the last time I had one, it occupied the top shelf of my bookcase and consisted of the three candles, a crystal ball, a letter-opener, and a mirror. Use your imagination.