... LANGUAGE PAGE 2 ... Oxymora (there's a nice Latin touch; only trouble is that it's of Greek origin) are literary figures of speech usually composed of a pair of neighboring contradictory words (often within a sentence). However, this is not always the case. The Webster Dictionary defines oxymoron as "a combination of contradictory or incongruous words".Oxymora can be used for dramatic effect, for example: Hell's Angels and deafening silence. They can also be comical, such as in civil engineer. Clearly this is not an oxymoron in the true and strict sense, but the suggestion that it is oxymoronic is humorous.
Others oxymora have quite acceptable meaningful uses in English, but, when analyzed word for word, contain contradictions. Examples include almost perfect, clearly misunderstood, and pretty ugly. How can something be almost perfect when perfect is *perfect"? How can something be clearly misunderstood (of course here the word "clearly" is really meant as an adverb and not as an adjective as "misunderstood" is. And how can something be pretty ugly (again, "pretty" here modifies "ugly) Reminds me of one being almost pregnant (another oxymoron).
The word oxymoron (plural: oxymora) is derived from the Greek for pointedly foolish (oxys = SHARP, KEEN + moros = FOOLISH).
So we can say they are things we say or hear a lot that don't really make sense. In fact, don't these almost sound like contradictions?
Safe sex
Civil war
Butt head
Soft rock
Old news
Now, then
Even odds
Taped live
Liquid gas
Rap music
Childproof
Good grief
Larger half
Extinct life
Pretty ugly
Only choice
Rolling stop
First annual
Rolling stop
New classic
Living dead
Peace force
Airline food
Minor crisis
Tight slacks
Open secret
Small crowd
Act naturally
Act naturally
Fairly certain
Freezer burn
Hell's Angels
Legally drunk
Silent scream
Civil engineer
Found missing
Sweet sorrow
Jumbo shrimp
Resident alien
Virtual reality
Plastic glasses
Almost exactly
Computer jock
Working holiday
Alone together
Alone together
Diet ice cream
Tragic comedy
British fashion
Original copies
Business ethics
Definite maybe
French bravery
Exact estimate
Criminal justice
Seriously funny
Sanitary landfill
Political science
Terribly pleased
Same difference
Clearly confused
Initial conclusion
Unbiased opinion
Genuine imitation
Constant variable
Deafening silence
Working vacation
Microsoft Works
Genuine imitation
Advanced BASIC
New York culture
Computer security
Passive aggression
Christian scientists
Thunderous silence
Religious tolerance
Military intelligence
Standard deviations
Synthetic natural gas
It's a definite maybe
Clearly misunderstood
Temporary tax increase
Software documentation
Government organization
Twelve-ounce pound cake
I laughed so hard, I cried
Finally your Menu well it fits.
Sorry for that last one *wink*And after researching all these oxymorons, I find a page much better than my list. Here I thought I was somebody; life can be disappointing.
Oxymorons
Why is quicksand so slow? In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Something about this speech that always fascinated me. Marc Antony (or could it be Mark Antony), using most simple language, is able to manipulate the masses in a way that Brutus could never do. Brutus used sophisticated language (words of Latin derivation) while Antony used a more Anglo-Saxon tone. It shows how powerful a simple approach can be when you want to be "one of the people" … good politicians are very well versed in this. I omitted the comments of the people Antony is addressing in the forum, which showed how they gradually moved over to Antony ready to devour the senators who murdered Caesar. Enough said; here we go:
Why are boxing rings square?
You lift a thumb to thumb a lift.
How can noses run and feet smell?
An alarm clock goes off by going on.
A house can burn up as it burns down.
We table a plan in order to plan a table.
French fries weren't invented in France.
Why do we fill in a form by filling it out?
You can make amends but not one amend.
We ship by truck and send a truck by ship.
People recite at a play and play at a recital.
There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We park on driveways and drive on parkways.
A Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
There is no egg in eggplant - and no ham in hamburger.
How can a person be pretty ugly, isn't that a contradiction?
Have you ever met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables - what does a humanitarian eat?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
You comb through the annals of history, but never through a single annal.
Sweetmeats are candies - while sweetbreads, which are not sweet, are meat.
Teachers teach, preachers preach ... if teachers taught, do preachers praught?
We know people can be discombobulated, disgruntled, unruly, or impeccable, but...
Writers write; but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham.
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable?
Overlook and oversee are opposites, but "quite a lot" and "quite a few" are the same.
When the stars are out, they are visible ... but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, but a wise man and wise guy are opposites.
Where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "crazy, man" is a compliment.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them - what do you call it?The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
Or could it be Mark Antony? … real name is Marcus Antonius
Thank you Becky in the "garden state" of New Jersey for pointing this out.First a brief history ... Antony was one of Caesar's closest lieutenants, and also an accomplished general in his own right. After the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 B.C.E. (before the common era), he joined forces with Octavian (later Augustus) and Marcus Lepidus to form the Second Triumvirate. After the defeat of Brutus and Cassius at Phillipi, the three divided up the Empire. Soon, Lepidus was forced into obscurity, thus leaving Octavian in the West and Antony in the East with his lover Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt. Octavian and Antony clashed in Civil War to rule all of Rome, and Antony was defeated at the battle of Actium in 31 B.C.E.
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answered it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest--
For Brutus is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honorable men--
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honorable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honorable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honorable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
But yesterday the word of Caesar might
Have stood against the world; now lies he there.
And none so poor to do him reverence.
O masters, if I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
I should do Brutus wrong, and Cassius wrong,
Who, you all know, are honorable men:
I will not do them wrong; I rather choose
To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you,
Than I will wrong such honorable men.
But here's a parchment with the seal of Caesar;
I found it in his closet, 'tis his will:
Let but the commons hear this testament--
Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read
And they would go and kiss dead Caesar's wounds
And dip their napkins in his sacred blood,
Yea, beg a hair of him for memory,
And, dying, mention it within their wills,
Bequeathing it as a rich legacy unto their issue.
Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read it;
It is not meet you know how Caesar loved you.
You are not wood, you are not stones, but men;
And, being men, bearing the will of Caesar,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad:
'Tis good you know not that you are his heirs;
For, if you should, O, what would come of it!
Will you be patient? Will you stay awhile?
I have o'ershot myself to tell you of it:
I fear I wrong the honorable men
Whose daggers have stabbed Caesar; I do fear it.
You will compel me, then, to read the will?
Then make a ring about the corpse of Caesar,
And let me show you him that made the will.
Shall I descend? and will you give me leave?
If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
You all do know this mantle: I remember
The first time ever Caesar put it on;
'Twas on a summer's evening, in his tent,
That day he overcame the Nervii:
Look, in this place ran Cassius' dagger through:
See what a rent the envious Casca made:
Through this the well-beloved Brutus stabbed;
And as he pluck'd his cursed steel away,
Mark how the blood of Caesar follow'd it,
As rushing out of doors, to be resolved
If Brutus so unkindly knock'd, or no;
For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar's angel:
Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar loved him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble Caesar saw him stab,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors' arms,
Quite vanquish'd him: then burst his mighty heart;
And, in his mantle muffling up his face,
Even at the base of Pompey's statue,
Which all the while ran blood, great Caesar fell.
O, what a fall was there, my countrymen!
Then I, and you, and all of us fell down,
Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us.
O, now you weep; and, I perceive, you feel
The dint of pity: these are gracious drops.
Kind souls, what, weep you when you but behold
Our Caesar's vesture wounded? Look you here,
Here is himself, marr'd, as you see, with traitors.
Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up
To such a sudden flood of mutiny.
They that have done this deed are honorable:
What private griefs they have, alas, I know not,
That made them do it: they are wise and honorable,
And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
I am no orator, as Brutus is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man,
That love my friend; and that they know full well
That gave me public leave to speak of him:
For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,
Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,
To stir men's blood: I only speak right on;
I tell you that which you yourselves do know;
Show you sweet Caesar's wounds, poor poor dumb mouths,
And bid them speak for me: but were I Brutus,
And Brutus Antony, there were an Antony
Would ruffle up your spirits and put a tongue
In every wound of Caesar that should move
The stones of Rome to rise and mutiny.
Why, friends, you go to do you know not what:
Wherein hath Caesar thus deserved your loves?
Alas, you know not: I must tell you then:
You have forgot the will I told you of.
Moreover, he hath left you all his walks,
His private arbors and new-planted orchards,
On this side Tiber; he hath left them you,
And to your heirs for ever, common pleasures,
To walk abroad, and recreate yourselves.
Here was a Caesar! when comes such another?
Our carefully constructed ... Navigator... for your perusing pleasure.Did you ever ask yourself how languages came about? We take it for granted, and yet all over the world so many languages are spoken ... the little baby hears sounds, makes sounds, gradually connections are made in the brain, and then very suddenly, behold a miracle, two people are talking, communicating, just like that, and they are saying wonderful things to each other ... now think about it ... isn't that a miracle?
Rogers and Hammerstein