Advice Column

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Dear quietsoul69,
I'm sure you recieve an endless amount of relationship questions and
this is no exception. My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year
and we have a wonderful relationship. He never leaves me in doubt of his love
for me and I show him just as much love. However, a great relationship has to
come with its share of worries. I guess that I fear losing him and some things
will bother me for days. The most persistent worry I have is how close he is
with my friend. She was a close friend of mine but we distanced as the
highschool years progressed because we go to different schools. I met my now-
boyfriend through her because they go to the same school. Anyway, let me get
to the point of what worries me. Sometimes I see him touch her in ways that I
consider to be affectionate; a touch of the cheek, a quick massage of the
shoulders, things like that. Today I was with him and we got pictures from my
sweetsixteen. I was looking at this big group picture and he was standing
behind her with his arm around her waist, on her stomach as she leaned into
him. It just hurt to look at that because that's how he holds me. I got really
quiet after looking at that and he kept asking what was wrong but I couldn't
talk to him about it. I can't just bring it up because I can't tell whether I
have a legitimate reason to feel threatened or if I'm overreacting. I can
think of a hundred ways he's shown his devotion to me but these things still
burden me. I wish to know your opinion. This could just be a little thing that
I'm killing myself with but I'm tired of dealing by myself.
thanx for ur patience in reading this hoping for ur response 16 yr old ny girl

  • 16 YEAR OLD NY GIRL,
    your worry can be a legitmate one. From experience I have a
    roomate, she is a girl and my very best friend and we are
    affecionate in ways that make people think that there is
    something more then just friends, even my ex girlfriend thought that there was something
    up, but we are just friends. The best way to really tell is to talk to people that know both parties and see what they think. Does he get really defensive
    if you bring up the possibility of them two or does he brush it off and try to ease your mind. Defensiveness would point to that he
    has something to hide. I would talk to him about it discreetly, you know bring it up casually and tell him. You can tell alot from his response. If everything else in the relationship is
    great then you probably are just worrying over nothing, but if you have
    a reason to test his realtionship with your friend then something might be up. Your 16 and there is allot of life
    in front of you and jealous concerns are normal. Your fellings are normal and no concern should go unexplored.
    Just take your inquiry slowly and don't jump to conclusions, investigate a little and see all the facts before you make a decision. Remember that communication in a relationship is very important, sooner or later you are going to have to talk about it

    Dear quietsoul69,
    How can I survive a broken heart?

  • Dear EP
    broken hearts are a painful thing I know from experience, just a short time ago
    my heart was torn from my chest. The only thing that mends a broken heart is time.
    never really try to rush things take it slow and try to find things that keep your mind off the person that broke your heart.
    Some words that i try to live by is Forgive, Forget, and move on to the next. Try not to let the other person know that they hurt you, because most people feed off the fact that they hurt you and they like to know that they are in control.
    Everybody deals with pain differently and theb est advice I can give you is to try to slowly remove the person from your mind and try to move on as quick as possible, but be careful not to take out what you are feeling on an undeserving person.
    I won't lie to you, a broken heart takes time and I am just now getting over the pain and hurt, but i still think about her everyday, but we talked and Forgiveness was granted and we are starting over.
    Everything does not have to end bad, if they do not come back be stong and move on, but do it on your own time.
    At best find something that helps you vent your emotions.
    quietsoul69@hotmail.com RETURN TO HOME PAGE 1