CHARLES, in May 1998 you wrote to me,

You've written so MANY things that I found both interesting and provocative! You have the heart of a philosopher, I do believe.

Indeed, I like to think as clearly as possible, looking at the whole picture.

There, my dear Jake, is the rub! How do we know what the important details are, and what's just background and window dressing? I too consider myself a "big picture" person. But it's so damnably hard to sift through the veritable flood of information that we're exposed to, and decide what's really relevant to understanding "the truth", and what simply leads us down the rabbit trail.

Charles, you respect my opinions, I very well know. I dispose of enough time to read a lot of selected information, and I have lived and studied enough to have created a sort of 'mental browser' which allows me to get a rather approximately valid judgment of the 'truth.'

I've just about concluded that human intellect alone is of little value in this regard. There are just too many possibilities!

Hardly do I find something that challenges dramatically my worldview and 'conceptions.' Yet I feel flexible enough to realize and accept whenever I am proven wrong, and ready to change radically points of view and the nature of my conceptions. Therefore I have no anguishing doubts about the 'truth.'

I've ALWAYS had a fascination with the human brain, but of late, I've become particularly interested in the findings of recent studies of the incredibly complex role that chemicals, in exquisitely small amounts, play on thinking and emotion.

I am very much glad to read this. This is basic stuff!

I read a couple of days ago a most interesting quote by Dostoevsky (undoubtedly a misspelling), the famous Russian novelist. He was afflicted with epilepsy.

You will find incredible the following: in 1951 (48 years ago) I came to the conclusion that Dostoevsky (I prefer Dostoyevsky, but both are correct) suffered from psychosomatic epilepsy. I am sending to you immediately a separate document on him, prepared at this moment for you. Here I will give you a preview of my correct assumption:
I treated a boy who suffered from seizures. My impression was that there was a psychic component to them. I did something unprecedented: with hypnosis I returned him to the instant before his 'attack' and told him to tell me what was happening during it. His story was so reminiscent of Dostoyevsky's characters, that I just went straight to his own mind. With psychological treatment based on his ambivalence toward his step-father, the epilepsy stopped. I did not need hypnosis for that.

He related that in the moment just before a "fit", as he called it, he experienced the most sublime feeling of happiness and well being that it defied description. He said that whether this state lasted a second, a day, or a month, he couldn't say. But, he said, "As far as you, 'healthy' people, I wouldn't trade this experience for all the pleasures that this life has to offer." Most interesting!

It figures, since he was 'liberated' by the fantasies of parricide and other 'evil' acts, without consciously knowing it, i.e., guilt-free. He could not compare his 'happiness' with that of 'healthy people,' could he?

Jesus was crucified by the pre-determined plan of God. Jesus is quoted as having said, "No one takes my life, but I lay it down of myself." And even if the Jews of Jesus day had been "guilty as sin", what right does ANYONE have to persecute their descendants, who weren't even born until centuries after the fact? I get angry in this country when, simply because I'm white, I'm somehow "guilty" because I might have had an ancestor who owned an African-American as a slave.

Have you read "The Last Temptation of Christ"? (by Kazansakis). There is some psychological belief that crucifixion was sought after, in order to make a stronger impact. Thus, it was expected to succeed in death when there had been failure in life. Did I tell you that I have been taken to the Police, hands grilled in front or behind my chest (as I 'chose') just because I desired to know how it feels? (It hurts behind). And that's not enough!

Jake, I appreciate very much your candor and honesty in what you write. If we can't express ourselves with reasonable candor, then we're probably wasting our time in writing. I hope that you NEVER feel like you should have to "beat around the bush" in expressing what you believe, or in critiquing what I write as my beliefs. That's what keeps this exchange so interesting for me!!!

That's why I enjoy our conversations!