YBible Thoughts Y September 6, 1998
This passage is from the qualifications for one to become an elder in the Lord's church. It is obvious that one who would desire to guide Christians in the work of the Lord will need the experience acquired through being the head of one's house. Every married male should strive to work toward becoming qualified as an elder in the local church. This was God's order and is to be respected in the present day. However, this article is not about elders and their qualifications. The intent of this is to point out who is to rule the household.
The inference in the above passage is that men who are Christians should
know they are to guide, lead, admonish, and strengthen the household.
Not with the specific intention of "that will make me an elder"(there
is more than that to it, obviously). The passage is dealing with
the type of person who would have qualified(in that part) to be considered
as an elder. And yet, every man who is a
Christian should realize the role that God has given to him.
The apostle Paul explained the husband's position in Ephesians 5:22-23, "Wives, be in subjection unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body." While many in the present age reject this teaching, it does not remove what God has said. It is this writer's conviction that if this scripture was respected, there would be few, if any, divorces. The husband would respect his responsibility of guiding and leading and the wife would respect the place where God placed the husband. All modern myths notwithstanding, this is still God's way--the only safe way for those who respect the truth.
The husband is not to be a tyrant, whose every word strikes terror into the household. He is to be an example of kindness, forbearance, and endurance. His life is to be of such character that he will inspire his wife and household to want to follow his guidance and example. The husband will place his faith in God, his love for the word of God, and his responsibility to his family above all other pursuits. There will be no question as to what he wants in the home; he desires that all respect the word of God and follow the Lord's desires.
On occasions, it will be necessary for the father to discipline the household. With the intention of leading the house into the paths of righteousness, such discipline is administered to improve, as well as punish, those who are not walking in the right paths. The actions and reactions of husbands and fathers will prepare them to serve well as elders in God's church. "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord"(Ephesians 6:4).
The apostle also addressed the role of the wife in I Timothy 5:14, "I desire therefore that the younger widows(women) marry, bear children, rule the household, give no occasion to the adversary for reviling." While these instructions include "rule the household," there is no conflict with Paul's earlier instructions about men. The word that is translated "rule" has the inherent meaning of "guide," that is, "one who holds the house together." The mother is certainly the glue for many households. She does influence her husband, she does teach her children, and she does administer discipline. In many cases, she has more contact with the family than the husband. Those opportunities enable the mother to be a strong influence directing and influencing the children in life. Many a boy and girl have been led to righteousness through the influence of a godly mother. Many a gospel preacher will tell you the influence of that mother on his destiny. Mothers, never underestimate your power to "hold together" your family.
Paul addressed the behavior of children in Ephesians 6:1-3, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right. Honor thy father and mother(which is the first commandment with promise), that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Fathers and mothers are instructed to "rule the household." Such instruction was not given to children. Children are to obey, to learn, and to follow--for someday they will be fathers and mothers who will have the responsibility. Offspring that learn the principles of righteousness will be able to live a good life and, with few exceptions, a long life. Children that are properly taught and guided in dealing with life as a righteous person have been given an opportunity, and a blessing, that few in our day enjoy. Observing the misbehavior of some children in public, with little correction, makes a sad day. How unfortunate for the children and how unfortunate for parents who do not know how, or are unwilling to apply, principles of discipline. Children do not rule the household: parents(fathers and mothers) do!
Who rules your household? Husbands, do you take your God-given position with the enthusiasm to do what is right for your family? Mothers, do you "guide" the household in the paths of righteousness, bestowing love and affection, while properly disciplining the children? Children, do you respect your parents and your brothers and sisters? Parents, is your example putting the Lord first in the life of the family? How much of you do you give to your family? What kind of sacrifices have you made? Pointed questions, but badly needed in our generation.
Christ is the head of the Christian. If all of us properly respect and follow the head, the family will survive any discouragement and any disaster that may arise.