Bible Thoughts September 15, 2002
"Have we no right to lead about a wife that is a believer, even as
the rest of the apostles, and the brethren of the Lord, and
Cephas?"(I Corinthians 9:5).
Even though the apostles were in a unique position, they were still human and enjoyed the rights of other Christians. Paul is reminding them of the right that he had to marry as did Peter and the "brethren of the Lord." Paul did not exercise that right and remained a bachelor(to our knowledge).
It is interesting that Paul stated he had the "right to lead about a wife that is a believer." From the passage, Paul would not have considered marrying someone who was not a Christian. It would have been extremely difficult for Paul to go about his work throughout the world if he had become attached to one who was not a Christian. There is a strong lesson for young people in Paul's statement. My young friend, you will do well to marry one who is a disciple of Christ. Your interests will be the same; your goals will match; your responsibilities will be more focused; and you will be happy that you can live your life with one who has the same values and aims as do you.
While it is not wrong to marry one who is not a disciple of Christ, you will find difficulties in the years that lie before you. Conflicts about worship, dedication to the Lord, lifestyle, and a myriad of other situations will arise in these and like areas, in your marriage.
When you marry a Christian, both of you will have the same standards and the same goals. Your thinking and actions will compliment each other. You will be able to discuss matters and make decisions that will assist each other in living the life of a Christian. Your life will be much more pleasant when you spend your years with one who respects Jehovah and His will.
When you marry a Christian there will be fewer conflicts. Your principles will be the principles of your mate. This is not to say that marrying a Christian is wholly without problems. But--they will be much less when each mate is living the life that respects and follows the teachings of Jesus Christ.
When you become serious in regard to a prospective mate, please take the time to weigh all of the factors that will enter your future: the possible conflicts, and the consequences, that often arise. If you choose one whom you desire to be your mate who is not a disciple, teach them the truth and urge them to obey the gospel before you tie the knot. Your influence in this area may well be stronger at this period of your life than later in life.
Hence, "Let
marriage be had in honor among all..."(Hebrews 13:4).
Note: A word to those who have unbelieving mates: Your
life is an influence upon that mate and many have been led to the
Lord through your efforts. May the Lord bless those who continue to
be faithful to the Lord and His way when the mate is not a disciple.
Through the example that you set and the loyalty to the Lord and His
word you demonstrate, the mate can be led to the paths of
righteousness. Never give up: continue to live a righteous life; be
faithful to the Lord in all of his commands; set an example to that
mate-- you have the power of influence through your righteous life.
"Wives, be in subjection to your
husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and
be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all
things, for this is well-pleasing in the Lord. Fathers, provoke not
your children, that they be not discouraged"(Colossians 3:18-21).
Paul is expressing the ideal situation in regard to a home where there are Christians. The wife will be in subjection to the husband(v. 18). It is a willing subjection, not a forced obedience. If the husband loves his wife and treats her properly, there will be no bitterness in being subject to the man(v. 19). The atmosphere of the home is created by the attitudes of the two mates. It can be a pleasant relationship that will create in each a desire to return to their own personal paradise, or a place where anger and unhappiness rules the "roost." Bitterness is the result. Each mate must work with his/her own attitudes in order to achieve a home where love and honor prevail.
The children of a union of two Christians will bring joy and happiness to the home. One must start early in showing love and concern for the child. The way that you cuddle a baby and the manner in which you soothe a youngster with your voice, will let him/her know how much you care about your offspring. As they mature, the respect they have for the parents will manifest itself in obeying "parents"(v. 20). As you demonstrate your feelings and affections, the child will mature into a caring and affectionate adult.
The journey of life begins in the home. When the parents, and others who care for the child, are mindful of a child's needs, the lessons they learn through touch, speech, and actions, will be remembered for life. Children who receive the love of parents are less likely to cause a problem in the future. In the absence of such care, they become discouraged(v. 21).
How is a child "provoked"(v. 21)? Parents may make unreasonable demands that are beyond the ability or understanding of the child. The word "provoke" can be used in two senses. In this passage, it has a negative twist. Some parents will tease a child until the offspring rebels; some neglect to provide adequately for the child's needs; some will make expectations that the child cannot achieve. While a child should be challenged to do better, act better, and perform better, there may be a limit to his/her abilities. A proper parent will accept a child for what the child is able to achieve, encourage the offspring to do his/her best, and help with the rest! They will not be discouraged(v. 21) when a parent shows proper respect and treatment the child will be provoked(in a good sense) to honor their parents through their attitudes and actions.
Children are the future. What they will be as adults will be largely determined by the efforts of those closest to them. Parents, grandparents, Christian friends, and others who care for the child, will put forth the energy and the efforts to guide the offspring in the ways of righteousness. Proper guidance and concern will shape a youngster into an adult that will remember his upbringing and apply the lessons from his childhood as an adult. Solomon said it, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it"(Proverbs 22:6).