Keep coming. And which way are you going to turn? Try for the left and the window fall on me. This my car. And that's Mr. A's. 3 bricks, probably from the house next door. And the next street number you see is downtown. Here's the dog. Give him some Ex-Lax. He's the one last night. Ha, ha, ha, huh. Gotta make it more all night long. Gotta get used to it after 16 years of living here. What side of the street am I on? The south side of the street, which is the closest side. Balboa Park, Golden Hill Park. 24th and 25th. A St., too. B and I lived on E. 7 blocks. 7 magical blocks. I figure a pattern. Just do a box. In the upper left is 1 and 2, 3, 4. You just make a pattern around the park. 6th and Laurel and then there it is, Mr. A's, that's the park. Be soaking the grass at 12 noon when it's dry unless it's raining or sleety out. Oh, yeah. Just got a burr in my balls. Beware of dog. Got another dog.

     That was my turning into freeway traffic on 163. Brake lights! Mr. A's, then turn around. There it is. It's on fire! Shot from the phone pole, proceeded around, turned left, proceeded in a Westerly fashion on A St., turning left, South on 24th. That looks like a fucking fire! Very hot and in the air 12 stories high. Gotta saturate that tree in the night because it burns in the night for 24 minutes Hot all night and keep saturating it just at night for 4 days. Maybe there are 4 different trees. Ha, ha, ha, ha. They look like from here. At 1245 address.

     There's a plane going overhead so I can't hear. The left hand, the red arrow is at the, the red hand is at the right flat side of the stereo and the microphone is at the right side of the red light. The lower left is where the alarm is. Maybe give them 5 minutes, smack it, snooze alarm it. That would be hard. 22nd and A. 22nd and A? 22nd and A? How did you get there? Is that where I got hung up in today? And now you have a great view of B St. That's where the B is at. Now I got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 buildings with red lights on top. 1, 2, 3 tall over there and there's blue lights and there's white lights, it's Coast Federal. And then 6th St. the Christmas box, the Christmas home plate upside down, the Christmas cupola at 6th in San Diego. I should go there and get my name on the checks. Take a picture of each building, the best angle, and splice them together. I like the view. Ha, ha, ha, ha. The tallest and the best with the Christmas stuff, Imperial Bank and AT&T.

     The time was, is 2 minutes 30 seconds after 2 minutes of 7. Oh, no. Uphill. Going South. A concept I hadn't thought about. Now as you're looking straight west, so it's downtown, the Harbor and Point Loma. You can see the traffic lights and the cars there. You can see the big drop there. There's 22 and A and we're on 24th. It's like the upside down and left edge. That's were to be, 24th and B. I just saw them take down the "For Sale" sign at the empty lot at the tree. Let's walk across here. I'm walking across the street Southerly. Datsun truck. It's bumper sticker says . Mr. A's, Cortez, radio tower. Check that out 4-1-1. Interesting ball view. 50-year plan. 50 years ago. 1940. 1890. 1900. 1950. 10 years ago, 1980. And throw in 5 years after that. Timelines and photographs for each one. Superimpose. So start with the darkest and current one, then each in preceding order. I was the length or the grass not knowing it, the grassy one, right at the length of the tree. Nice, torch that. Bring buildings down. 1144 is the next building. Reggae 234-6638. 1-digit off, the 4, from my service. I should call them both together, put them in numerical order. Alpha Omega, a program that inserts the lines on a page into alphabetical order, alphabetizes the lines on a page. Phone numbers in the first column so you have your phone numbers in order. Which exchanges came first, which houses. You put the houses in the first column. You can see patterns. Airplane. You can see. Any fool can see.

     Oh, psychedelic! Turn your head to the left. Blew them out. Flashing lights. Flashing lights. Bold and swirly. So this is Christmas Tree Lane. One house by itself and facing to the left or East. This is the L-shape that I wanted. We're now at A, B, C North and we're walking down. Just type every word, just try to be original. I'm going to save each draft, each day's beginning draft and ending draft, call it a.m. and p.m. Call the day 1,2,3. 90-slash-12-slash, uh 1, uh 2, uh 3-slash-a.m.-slash-p.m.-slash-7-slash-:05. I'll let the program do it and then we'll have a dot within it. Etcetera, etcetera.

     We're on top of the hill. Topography map. Greyhounds in 250 towns. It's nice to come on the Mayflower. Oh, yes, and that reminds me of a song. Citation for the song. 2,3,4, uh, uh, uh, 6 5, 0, 1. Wake up before. Made 20 phone calls to them. Find out what they do and vice versa. All of these numbers. I call the number. Various columns. I head the columns. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Vertical, horizontal. In a certain order. What are you, crazy? Alphabetize. Come back with the words and items. And here we are! Give the best shot. 1, 2, 3,4, 5, 6, 7 different kinds of flashing lights. Really fast. Let's take a vote. It's 2419.

     Time is 7 - oh - 7 - 50. I want to check one of those bulbs. Seems like a short. Ha, ha, ha. You can change bulbs without changing the color pattern. Secret clues of the lights. How many Christmas lights there are? Ahh. Standing right there facing North, almost exactly Northeast. The moon is overlapping from the right into the palm trees, to the left into the palm trees from where I was just standing. How you doing there? (woman's voice, "Fine.") Short, Black, mediocre-looking in a nylon coat. Everything but the kitchen sink. Only the kitchen sink. Eat. Throw it in the laundry. Everything I cook, cola, the cans, foil, etcetera, etcetera. Leftover fish and chips. Garbage. Trash. Sewage. Columns. Try those things. Change the composition around different times. Freezer - 32 degrees. Refrigerator - 40 degrees. Room temperature - 68. Outside, hmm, hmm, 32 and 68. Palm trees. Check out the original Ptolemy, Copernicus.

Cop

Were you the victim of a crime?

I

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Cop

What crime?

I

Mugging and car theft and mugging all on the same day.

Cop

They stole your car?

I

Yep.

Cop

All right. (long pause) Spell your last name....And your first name is Charles?...Date of birth?....Do you know your license plate?

I

No.

Cop

Type of vehicle?

I

Sports coupe.

Cop

'91 coupe?

I

Yes

Cop

What brand?

I

Ford.

[The rest of this conversation was inaudible because of very loud noises from motors in the background.]

Cop

:I'm taking you for examination by mental health professionals at County Mental Health.

I

Under what...?

Cop

You'll be told your rights by the mental health staff.

I

Very little.

[I told the cop about the 7-11 throwing me into the hands of the derelict and then a cop came along and said, "Get your damn face out of my car!"]

I

Do you know badge 202, 7 feet tall? (cop laughs) He terrified me from behind at the cop station, 4 a.m., he kept turning and I turned, he said, "You'll stop turning when I turn!", versus polite eye contact. Finally I said, "Did I say that I had a car stolen? I must be mistaken.", and I walked away. Saw a 2 man-team, talked to the nice one.

Cop

Oh, your reporting your car's been stolen, how many times have you been to CMH?"

I

At least 2 or 3 times similar questions come up in various police reports. I might as well get all 3 of my recent police reports and well as new ones. Human rights violations in a board and care at 2456 E St.

As I was saying 2 weeks ago, "God, if I be not Christ, why is everybody trying to crucify me?" A song I wrote last time at CMH:

"We do not crucify in the wink of an eye..."

[He interrupted me..] "but I'm getting a hell of a long book." I've been going to CMH for 8 years so I said to Karenlee (head of CMH),

"Karenlee, it's been 8 years. What are you doing wrong? What am I doing wrong?"

The nicest people are so incompetent. To cop: "There's nobody there, you fool. It's a pillow." (laughter) "Put a blanket over it. Can't fool us any more." "We'll all get killed by manic depressives in the middle of the night." "Sure we're taking a class? Psychiatric treatment." (cop laughs) That's what they do to us.

Cop

[Something about "money orders" and laughs.]

I

"Money orders." That's not funny. Reminds me of a couple of other lawsuits --7/11 and Jaroco's. Welcome to CMH. Which one's the patient? Which one's the cop? I asked the cops the difference between petty thefts and grand thefts.

Cop

$400.

I

I went to the bank last week over someone stole my $260 check.

Cop

He asked about me taking pictures of them.

I

I wondered how long I had been taking pictures before they mentioned it. Without exposing the film, could you seize the camera and develop the film?

Cop

(talking to woman) You love it here.

Dr. Knight

(introduced himself to me) We're going to go in the other room.

I

Oh, no....that's how my headband broke. Hi. That was the sound of you breaking but still rolling. No, you're not. Yes, you are. You're upside down. Hello, hello, hello. Call for Marlboro, Kraft, Lowenbrau, Phillip Morris, Players.

Someone

So, how have you been making out?

I

Terribly, totally paranoid. Don't want to repeat the whole story where I've just added up I want to check on 3 police reports -- there's been about 7 that I either have made or should have made. Since I left here I was mugged 3 times -- 2 times in the same day, assault and battery.

And she's not funny (my then-shrink), spent an hour with me, solid medication visit and I'd appreciate someone other than her who knows as much or more about Lithium and Volparic acid. She tried to get me to take it. She gave me a printout and the fact that it doesn't cure, but helped treat 93%, sounds nice, but on the other hand they only tested 10 people in the world on it for 1 1/2 years and you're supposed to do it for 8 years. She's been taking me off Tegretol.

Dr.

So I suppose it's a good idea to be in the hospital.

I

So could you see me first. I think my appointment with her -- I don't have my calendar --they stole it when they moved me out of the wicked board and care -- but I think it was 3 o'clock. It was the same time as last time. I'm positive it was 3 o'clock. I raced home to avoid the 4 o'clock traffic.

Dr.

We'll expedite it as much as we can.

I

12:30 to go 1 mile -- I don't know how. (looking up at nurse writing on large white board) #4 she's writing down. It says #4. Elliot, C. Misspelled of course. Just leave it alone. UDS. Status. Name. UDS. Date. Time in. MBIB. Last eval. ESIS. Locker beds. Bed. Doctor. nurse. (pause)

Female

What's your name, sir?

I

Elliot

Female

You're Mr. Elliot?

I

Yes.

Female

OK.

Someone I know (female)

How you doing, Chuck?

I

Fine, how you doing?

She

Good.

I

Is there a water fountain through 1 of these doors or am I in the locked part?

She

There's one around the corner.

I

OK.

She

I'll get you some cups.

I

Can I get some tea or something"

She

(looks at my tape recorder and camera) We have to check these in.

I

It's contrary to the First Amendment if you take these 2. What does it look like?

She

That has to be checked in. You can't sit here with that because (unintelligible).

I

You say you're going to take these out of my hand?

She

Uh-huh.

I

60 Minutes! 60 Minutes! 60 Minutes! 60 Minutes! 60 Minutes! 60 Minutes!

(The worst thing you can say to them - 60 Minutes once covered a patient death at CMH.)

She

We'll account for them.

I

No, you can't take them from me!

She

We have to have them.

I

You can't take them from me!

She

Chuck, we have to!.

I

You can't take them from me!

She

Chuck, you know how we take things and write them down?

I

You can take them if they stay next to me or next to you.

She

You will take them over to the unit when you go. They'll go with you. But we just have to make an inventory list.

I

You won't turn it off and break the tape?

She

Promise.

I

And take the film out of the camera?

She

We won't do anything.

I

You won't do anything against the First Amendment or any other laws?

She

Absolutely.

I

Everybody else does in the system. Why don't you?

She

Because we don't.

I

Why not? Forget?

She

We have to itemize it for you, though.

I

Forget to put it on your list of things to do today -- haranguing mental patients,...job security? You and 24,000 colleagues.

She

Will you let us write this stuff down on the list?

I

Yes.

She

How about will you let Tim take the stuff? You know Tim?

I

Sure I've known Tim. He's my subscriber. Supporter. I mean subscriber. I'll take down your check for $25 -- just went up.

Tim

Let me get the valuables.

I

Watch your valuables. (laugh) That was not me. That was the voice of Tim. Sounds like Richard Nixon getting it down Pat. It is now 1:35 exactly. (to Dunbar, a Black patient)) Are you following me? Are you in the military? Well, Martin, we tried. Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. We tried. I don't try for you guys any more.

Dunbar

Hey.

I

Hey, yourself.

Dunbar

Hey, you know cigarettes. How much? A pack? [I sold cigarettes once for one hour for my advocacy group COFA. Ever since, patients associate me with cigs, even calling me "Cigarette Man."]

I

$5 a piece. A dollar for 1 cigarette.

Dunbar

A dollar?

Nurse

You can't smoke in here, anyway, Mr. Dunbar.

I

Time to going out for you, never. (sound of water) I have just soaked a towel so I can cool my brow. (groaning noise) Open my eyes and it's flashing. I'm going to have my pomach stumped. Stomach pumped.

Dunbar

Who sells cigarettes?

I

:I'm OK and now I'm going down again. Another Tylenol. Living color. I hear Tim on the top of his chair with his macho living color shirt with animals all kinds of fornicating. Oh no! I just said "homosexual" and he turned around. What's your favorite color? (looking at the cut of his sideburns) I get it. It's a thing like your hair. It's a dog in heat. Different ways to cut it. It means you like it in the left nostril. Is that right?

Tim

I don't believe that.

I

It doesn't work that way. Watch this.

Tim

Man, you are fast, Chuck.

I

1:41 and probably about 12 seconds it was. Time's wrong.

Tim

Chuck, when's the last time you took any medication?

I

About an hour ago.

Tim

What was it?

I

10 Tylenol and 1 Ibuprofen. Does that worry you?

Tim

No, I'm talking about...

I

After 24 hours, puke and die, puke and die.

Tim

Did you really take 10 Tylenol?

I

11 - well, 10 Tylenol and 1 Ibuprofen. I've been swelling and excruciating pain in a certain bodily part for about 36 hours.

Tim

(motions at tape recorder) Chuck, I need to lock this thing up to make sure that you leave with it.

I

Can you at least leave it running? It's got another 10 minutes left.

Tim

No problem. I need the headphones. I also need the 2 pins (2 badges on my hat).

I

OK, OK, OK. The bag. I need to wrap it around the other so it doesn't go away when you're standing waiting for the bus. That needs to be shoved back in there in a tighter manner. Need some Vaseline. (Tim laughs) You got a Ziploc bag there?

Tim

You get it.

I

'cause they're my notes from my 8 million series of books. I've been writing a lot on-line on a computer plus taping a lot -- it's a lot of pages.

Tim

You don't get your illness under control, you're not going to get your book written.

I

Yes, I am. That's what the book is. The more I'm out of control, the more money I make.

Tim

If you're out of control you won't be able to write. You won't be able to get what you want to say down in any kind of comprehensible...

I

That's good, too. I'll prove it. Because I'm too coherent...

Tim

And they'll say, yeah, you are mentally ill.

I

That's good, too. It's a double-bind but it's good. Could you unroll those dollar bills there? I had 3 sets of dollar bills. A wadded-up wad of $20 bill shit. Do you like money?

Tim

Yes, I dig money. If this isn't a manic's wallet, I don't know what it is.

I

(fast laugh) That could be page 1 of the book -- "Overheard at the EPU...".

Tim

Do you have a 5? That one was mine. Don't spend it all in one place. Hit my Tijuana parley for 300. You are amazing. You are amazing.

I

I'm going to make a continuous-loop tape -- about 3 minutes -- normal people go crazy. Sell cassettes.

Tim

3 - 10's, 11 - 20's, 4 - 5's...11 - 20's. Do you keep the change on you? [I later timed this segment of tape where Tim counted my $270. It took him 21 minutes. He’s thorough.]

I

There's about $3 in change. (pulling it out) About $3, $4.

Tim

Keep that on you. You'll need it....3 keys on a key ring. This is mania.

I

That one's not on the key ring.

Tim

It is now.

I

How did it get on there?

Tim

I put it on.

I

How could you have done that? I didn't know that it came apart.

Tim

You don't have any checks in here, do you?

I

As a matter of fact, I do. (mocking) I'm going to rip this open I'm going to sue the county.

Someone

Motherfucker!

Tim

Hey, watch your language. Sit down and relax. Mark, will you bag this stuff and lock it up in the locker?

I

With all of it in one bag. Just one bag. They couldn't find the bags last time.