"I was institutionalized following the RNC"
Prior to the Republican National Convention, I was thinking about different T-shirts and paraphernalia that might be sold there. My favorite idea for a shirt was "I was institutionalized following the RNC." Other people might have had the same idea, but I had the good fortune to deserve the shirt because yes, I was institutionalized. Following the RNC, I was sent to Bay View psych hospital. There during the Democratic Convention, I wrote a summary of me and the RNC in red ink before Clinton’s speech to present to a group. As it turned out there wasn’t an opportunity to read it then.

 Regardless of my institutionalization, I swear that everything I describe in here is true,
except that everything that went on in the Convention Center was lies

(that's why I call it the Con Center).

Before = through Sunday, 8/11/96

The media
The media reported that San Diego stood to make hundreds of millions of dollars from the RNC.

Fine print
Don’t tell anyone, but I read a major magazine before the convention that said that Clinton had the election clinched.

Security by 21 agencies
My then-best friend who had been in Special Forces in Vietnam knew a lot about security and told me that there were to be no less than 21 security entities at RNC. You count on your fingers, San Diego Police, San Diego Sheriff, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, Coast Guard, dot dot dot, and then who? He said there were the ones that nobody can see. Yeah, those were the ones to watch out for.

My old office at 5^th & Broadway overlooked the Con Center from about a mile away, and the men’s room, pardon the expression, had a straight shot of the Con Center. But who would want to shoot anybody and make them a martyr? Don’t look at me - any way I moved a block south about 8/9 with only a northern exposure.

My reconnaissance at the Marriott
A week before RNC, I went scouting at the Marriott which I discovered was the official hotel, if I hadn’t guessed. In the employee area there were posters about do’s and don’ts during the convention. One of the head employees came up to me and asked if he could help me. I said yes, that I heard on the radio that the Republicans are helping local nonprofits, that I have a nonprofit (true) and would like to find out more details, and that party head Haley Barbour was the contact. He said "Certainly" and took my name to give to Haley. I wandered around briefly in the hotel. Then I walked over to the "free speech area" a couple blocks away. It was a deserted parking lot just past midnight. Within 15 minutes of the time I spoke to the Marriott employee, a couple of cop cars pulled up to me in the deserted parking lot. They started with, "We hear you were trying to contact Haley Barbour." I said something like, "Oh God, I didn’t know that was illegal!" They hassled me but then left me alone. I was amazed at the level of security that dispatched the cops to me.

Earp Tour
The Gaslamp Quarter was prominent for the convention because it was adjacent to the Con Center, and had about 100 upscale restaurants and places of entertainment. I went on the Wyatt Earp Tour of the Gaslamp Quarter because I was interested that my new office was on the premises of his whorehouse and gambling den. Most of the people on the tour were senior ladies. I asked one if she was here for the convention. She snapped, "No, my damn fool husband is here for the convention! I’m here to shop." The gist of the tour was that prominent San Diegans of the past had secret whorehouses in restaurants and factories. The Gaslamp used to be called the Stingaree because of its many scorpions.

Day 1 - Monday, 8/12/96

Anti-abortion protester with bad  photo
The day that RNC started, I was walking downtown with a friend who is a nurse when we came upon a feeble man whose arms were crucified upon a very-low quality enlarged photograph of a fetus. I got the impression that this man was supposed to be making an anti-abortion statement. Yeah, to me the statement is they’re too cheap to get better posters. I glanced at the photo and said to the man, "We’re both in medicine, this doesn’t do anything for us." {Truth is, I’m not "in" medicine, I take medicine, and my father was a doctor.} Segue to:

Buttons, Stickers, Bunting
I was leaving my new office in the Historic Louis Building at 5^th & E, the most-photographed building in town, and I stopped for a moment at a podium in front of the building. I had noticed that the red, white, and blue vinyl buntings were attached to the fronts of restaurants to attract customers. There was an extra bunting, so I took one and wrapped it around my shoulders. I looked at the front of the podium. It had a black-and-white sticker with the GOP elephant logo. It was different from any I’d seen in that it had the slogan "PRO-HATE". I figured to myself, at least they’re honest. I debated with myself for a couple seconds, and then I grabbed the sticker and put it on my shirt.

The main button for RNC says "Welcome to San Diego", RNC, and the date "Aug. 12-15, 1996" The main attraction to me is the artwork with an elephant in swimming trunks watching the sunset. I’ve discussed this with other people and they tend to agree with me - a Republican couldn’t have designed this. [Well, maybe a gay Republican, a rarity.]

A prevalent item was from "Ann, how’s your bush?". A table card has the red, white, and blue motif and a bottle of Budweiser. You have 3 choices to check: Bill, Bob, Bud. Then it says "Guess it just depends on your choice of party." I heard some yahoos say they never heard of the first two, so they’re going to vote in the election for Bud.

Speaking of yahoos, after the first or second day of the RNC, the radio said that the Republicans were "too cheap to buy their own buttons."

"I’ve never seen so many cops"
O.K. I’m used to all the cops, and hearing there’s 50 cops per block. Then I’m at Horton Plaza waiting for the phone and there’s some local yahoo who never knows what day or time it is. He gets off the phone, turns around, sees more cops than usual, and says, "I’ve never seen so many cops in my life!. Something must be going on today." I mutter, "Yeah, the Republican Convention." This guy doesn’t even know the RNC starts today.

But the top line I heard was when there were a gazillion cops in the area of the Jumbotron TV at the east entrance of Horton Plaza on 4^th Avenue. Four young bicycle cops, male and female, come around the corner into the area, and the male cop in front exclaims, "There’s more cops than people!" After all these years to convince us that cops were people.

I was watching them set up the Jumbotron so the installers gave me a brochure - so now I explain it to people - "just like the Rolling Stones on the moon." So I’m standing there with a couple Clinton Gore ’96 posters, ready to flash them at the curb crowd and the traffic, when a man and woman from the campaign come walking by, and they flash their posters at the Jumbotron. I thought to myself, "What a bunch of jerks!" Then I thought about it. Later I spent hours a day watching the RNC on the giant TV - Dole or somebody would say something, the TV would show thousands of   Republicans reacting by shaking their posters, and then I as 1 Democrat would flash 1 poster at the TV.  I got a lot of people to smile.

There was a lot of commercial activity, including a lot of trucks driving by with signs. I thought that the flat trucks carrying billboards were clever.  When they went by, I would raise a clenched fist and yell, "Teamsters!", even though these trucks would go by about every 11 minutes. 

I saw some of the people from the Democratic campaign sitting in Horton Plaza. There were two Lesbians, one with razor blades in her eyebrows. They were talking amongst themselves. Then one of them saw me wearing the GOP PRO-HATE sticker, shook her head and said that I shouldn't be wearing that. Since it was my prize, I had no intention of removing it. Then the line came by for seeing "Politically Incorrect". I stood close to the people in line and it seemed like almost everyone of them glanced at my Pro-Hate sticker and laughed. I felt like I was rejected by my fellow Democrats, but supported by the people in line whom I didn't know.

Day 2 - Tuesday 8/13/96

Susan Molinari and Ted Koppel
On 5^th Avenue, I was a few feet from the RNC’s keynote speaker, Susan Molinari. So I thought I would try to tell her the joke they had about her on the radio that morning. Suddenly her position was moved about 40 feet south and I ran in a narrow space to catch up with her, my buttons went flying. She was being interviewed on audiotape by a reporter. During a lull, I asked her the joke, "Congresswoman Molinari, did you know that you’re the only Republican that Bill Clinton will do caucus with?" I then was talked over by the Secret Service man who was standing with her and the reporter.

Once I was walking north on 5^th Avenue and I saw Ted Koppel walking towards me and the Con Center fast. He looked very different to me because the few times I have seen ABC’s Nightline there’s always a crisis and he’s always starkly serious. Here in real life, he was totally smiling. I smiled and yelled, "Hi, Ted" to no response.

At the Zoo
We had a rally at the zoo. I couldn’t find the exact location, so 2 U.S. park police on horseback led me as I drove behind them to the area. Essentially, the rally was that 2 or 3 people would shake Clinton-Gore ’96 posters at the on-coming traffic. In most cases the cars would honk in support; in a few cases they would disapprove. Then one campaign worker came back and said, "It was bound to happen. In the same car, the husband was Democrat and the wife Republican, or vice versa." Other workers joked, "No sex tonight."

Some of the campaign workers were discussing  the latest ploy  - "Hi, I'm from the National Coalition of  I Wanna Know You Better." Some said that this was sick. We were getting ready to leave, and one of the Lesbians said to me, "I don’t want to have contact with you, and I’m giving you my email address." I thought this was incongruous, but I took the email. Several months later I sent her an email and got no response - maybe that’s what she meant.

I was hoping someone would ask how the rally was and I would say "It was a zoo." The "zoo" for me actually was when I was back in my office. The high-rise hotel across the way just had too much noise. So I made a giant banner on my computer saying "SHUT UP!" and  taped it to my window.  Actually it was too big for my window, so all I could put up was "SHUT".

Satellite truck
One night I was watching the Jumbotron coverage of the convention and I noticed a white truck from New York a few feet away that was carrying a large satellite dish aimed to the heavens. This was probably something that I had walked past numerous times but this time I thought about it. I looked to the left or South and that was the Con Center just barely visible a mile away. There were gazillions of satellite dishes there sending their signals up 20,000 miles to bounce off the satellite. Then the signal bounced down 20,000 miles into the satellite dish in the truck, and then connected by a cable tens of yards long to the Jumbotron. Looking at it another way (mine), the signal went 20,000 miles times 2 or 40-50,000 miles to let us view something 1 mile away!

Day 3 - Wednesday 8/14/96

Within an inch of my life
I was in the group at the Jumbotron TV early one morning. All of a sudden a bicyclist rounded the corner, and was surprised at the large amount of people where he usually encountered none. He came within inches of hitting me. At his speed, he would have killed me.

Later I thought of the Libyan missile test range that went down 5^th Avenue where I was a lot, and fantasized about just being missed during their target practice. I thought of the Libyan shots and that bicycle both almost killing me. I told people I came within an inch of my life - I held one index finger and its thumb together, and said, "There’s the inch." I held my finger and thumb to my chest, and continued, "and there’s my life."

 "Don’t Duck, Chuck!"
I was standing on the street on 5^th Ave. conversing at eye level with some diners. I started to talk about my mythological story about the Libyan terrorist practice range. I broke it to the diners that the practice range was the 2-mile strip down 5^th Ave. We were joking about what if one of the bombs came too close. The man said, "Don’t duck. Chuck." I suddenly got serious and said, "How did you know my name?" and "If the bomb hit the back of my head, the shrapnel from my brain would kill you and everyone from here to" and I walked off 20 feet to illustrate the distance. Although I was making this all up, they became serious for a moment.

Instant Brain Death
I was walking farther south on 5^th Ave. than I was used to. The crowds in the restaurants here were mainly teenage and in their early 20’s. I stopped on the street for a moment, and suddenly noticed that all of these people were talking with a speech impediment. I wondered what the freak was going on. If some of them had the impediment, maybe they were making fun of someone. If many of them had the impediment, maybe they are imitating somebody in a current movie. But all of them had the impediment, I figured that the only solution could be that the drug makers were putting something in the drugs that would cause sudden brain death, as opposed to gradual. This could not happen this fast.

I went to ask some people their opinions. The first one, coincidentally, was from Columbia. He said that the government was killing the people, and he made the motion of a machine gun, with the sound effects, "rat-a-tat-tat." I asked if this was recent, or has this been going on for a long time, and I made the motion and the sound, rat-a-tat-tat. He said it’s been going on for thousands of years, rat-a-tat-tat. I said so it’s not something recent that would cause the instant brain death.

Dole "Telethon"
As I watched the RNC one night on the Jumbotron, not being able to hear the sound, I tried to have some perspective. Here was this nice man (oh, yeah, I know it’s my enemy Bob Dole), and here he had all of these children with him who were in wheelchairs or disfigured. So, I get it. It’s the night of "Hi, I’m Bob Dole, God’s gift to the cripples!" [I can say that because I’m disabled.] So, it’s the Bob Dole Telethon. He loves the little cripples (so of course his opponent doesn’t), so send all of your dollars to Mr. Dole. This must have been a telethon because it went on for hours and hours.

"May I have a glass of water?"
There was a tent set up very close to the Con Center. It was the closest tent to the Con Center. The tent showcased the new Chryslers. I went there and instantly liked the purple Viper with the pointed front end. The salesmen came up to me and talked to me. I then walked to another part of the tent. A photographer saw me with my "PRO-HATE" elephant sticker, took me aside, and photographed me.

I was in the part of the tent that contained the sumptuous spread of food and wine for an upcoming party. I was thirsty and asked one of the people in charge for some water. He said he would see what he could do. He then came back and said, "The man said we can’t give any out." I wondered who this man was, figuring either Mr. Chrysler or Bob Dole.

After the big broadcast, I was thirsty again and needed some water. I went to the Doubletree Hotel where I had previously had Seagram’s 7 & 7s. The door was locked for a private party, obviously the Republican Party. I knocked on the door. They opened it. I asked for some water. They shut the door in my face. Is this how Bob Dole’s party treats poor little cripples? I went through much anger, mostly aimed at suing the Doubletree. But in thinking about it, my anger should have been at the GOP.

The next day I was in Hillcrest carrying a small green bottle. I needed some water and walked into the Flame lesbian bar, thinking that they would be one place where I could get water in this town. Instead, the bartender saw my bottle glistening in the almost-totally dark bar and told me to leave. Then realizing it was only a bottle, she offered to fill it. I said, "No, I’d rather sue you!", and left.

Day 4 - Thursday 8/15/96

Post-Production at the Bella Luna
I was walking past the Bella Luna Italian Restaurant and wanted some souvenirs to use as graphics here. There was one woman in the restaurant. I said that I was from CNN and we were finishing our coverage of Newt and Dole the other day. I said that we needed something with their name on it like a menu. She couldn't spare a menu but I got some nice books of matches. Commentary: Now, if the real CNN were giving you free news coverage, would it be worth a menu to you?

Escorting the GOP out
At the end of the RNC about 5 of us independently had the same idea - escort them out. I was almost to the area - the south end of 5^th Avenue by the Gaslamp arch sign. I put my red, white, and blue bunting into the chain link fence of the former free-speech area, and was saying some patriotic things rather loudly. Some Republicans came around the corner and one woman seeing there was only me, said, "I thought there were more of you." I said, "No, I’m just loud…" and flashing my baby blues "…and photogenic!"

I went to the 5^th Avenue location. The 5 of us acted similarly. A Republican group would come by. We would say, "Welcome to San Diego, and go home!" I spiced it up by "counting" how many had come out. "You’re number 30,812, and go home!" I saw dynamic speaker, Congressman J.C. Watts, and totally forgot his name. I asked, and he said "J.C.", and I said "Hard name to forget. You’re going to go a long way, young man." "Why’s that?" "Because you spoke the longest (besides Dole) and the most dynamically."

There was a swami always near us and you could get high just looking at his costume with all of its intricacies.

One of the GOP asked me if I lived near there. I looked and saw that I was about 2 blocks from home. I mock-sang, "Lord, I’m 1, lord I’m 2, lord I’m 3, lord I’m 4, lord I’m 500 feet! away from home." Then I laid down on the pavement to sleep a second, because I was home, and got back up. Then the man continued, "So you’re not some kind of outside agitators?" I shook my head and went back to work.

I recognized a very tall man coming at me with a very purple, very large head. I couldn’t remember his name. He was walking very fast and passed us. Then, horrified, it came to me. Loudly I said "It’s Novack. The one who taught Rush to hate. Slow the people down who just went past us so he doesn’t walk on top of them."

My "counting" went on. Then suddenly no more people were coming. I knew my count couldn’t be off - that it couldn’t be over. Then after a minute a few hundred more people came walking out slowly. I said, "What do you call this - oh, I know, sleepwalking. Here’s the ones he’s put to sleep - how embarrassing." I said to them, "42,862. 43,000. It was his best moment and you slept through it! Admit it. You’re sleepwalking now."

All of that done, I walked to the main part of the Gaslamp. On one countertop, someone was trying to sell GOP posters for $100 each. A woman tried to buy my Clinton poster for a couple hundred bucks. I said, "They only cost 15 cents to make and we have more at headquarters." She then offered her body for the poster. I tried to determine if she were drunk or kidding. We stared at each other for a couple minutes. Then I said, "Are you from out of town?" She said, "Santee." I said, "Well, about 20 miles. I thought you were from far away - like Ohio or something."

Chicago
I was really into the political thing and it was hard to stop. I kept thinking to myself for several days that we should get a bunch of Democratic campaigners with Clinton Gore posters to line the streets on 4th Avenue, and shout to the morning commuters, "Welcome to Chicago!" Hopefully, some would be convinced that they were in Chicago, and would experience/suffer both conventions.

Stop
But I finally did stop. I was on the street at 5th & E, about 100 feet from my new office. I was so tired, and I had my head down, but I was listening to a thin man talking. He was angry with someone. He said that they lost money from this damn thing but next year would be better. I looked up until I saw a logo I recognized of a merchant near me. As I learned to say later, the local merchants lost money on this damn RNC, but now the world knows about the Con Center, and "San Diego, you give good room!"

After

Shirtless Sunday at the Louis Bank - 8/18/96
I kept thinking about and seeing details of the RNC week. Then I could feel pain in my shoulders and rear end. Then my eyes opened - everything was so vivid before, I was surprised that it was a dream. The pain was because I was lying on my back on the tiles of the bathroom in my new office building. I was scared. I was wearing pants but no shirt. I went into the hallway. My landlord walked in and told me that I better put a shirt on because there was going to be an historical tour in a few minutes. I said O.K. He said, "I need your keys." I gave them to him. He said, "By the way, you’re evicted for not wearing a shirt." I said, "It’s a Sunday." He said, "That’s a tour day." I thought, well, on the good side, I don’t owe September rent.

He must have called the cops on me because apparently shirtlessness is a psychosis. I knew the cops were coming. I don’t know why but I sprayed ammonia at nose level in my office and the elevator. Other people reacted to the ammonia as if it were a deadly substance. The cops ignored the ammonia and drove me to CMH. After that I was taken to Bay View Hospital.

The Democratic Convention - two weeks later
It is very hard to watch a current event of importance to you when you are at a psych hospital. There are too many things in the way. I did manage to see a small amount of the Democratic Convention. I kept having to answer people's questions of what I was watching and why -"It's the Democratic Convention. I want to see Clinton's speech." "Why?" "I worked for his campaign."  I saw that we were not to be outdone by Dole’s King of the Cripples show. We had Christopher Reeve as our resident cripple. I saw a lot of shots of Hillary. Then I saw all the balloons when Clinton was re-nominated.

The Democratic Party Party -12/13/96
I was invited to the Democratic Party Christmas Party. I walked in wearing buttons from the RNC. The San Diego Democratic Chairman Maureen Steiner was visibly dismayed to see the Republican buttons and asked about them. I smiled and said they were captured regalia of a defeated opponent. I don’t think anybody else mentioned anything about the buttons.

Epilog -7/29/2000 - on the eve of

• I cannot believe that 4 years have gone by since the events that I have described above.
• I have resisted my constant idea to refer to the Gaslamp Quarter as the Gassed Lamb, Quartered. Why? Too crazy? Well, it would make the story into a fantasy instead of political-psychological truth.
• Some of you may not believe that I was sent to mental hospital for not wearing a shirt in my bathroom. Why not? It only takes a little reason.