Prophecy As a Career Choice

If God ran a "Help Wanted" ad for job candidates to fill the position of "prophet", how would it read? If it were worded to fit our society's concepts of Old Testament prophets, perhaps it would look like this:

Semi-Professional, No degree required.

Mature male wanted for high visibility position as pubic information advisor. Meet new people, travel to new places. Work in the great outdoors. No selling involved. "Signs" provided . Must furnish own robes and sandals. Prefer results-oriented, over-achiever but will consider experienced mortuary worker. Able to deal with rejection and customer reluctance. Liberal personal hygiene and grooming requirements. Lean, mean ex-Santas especially welcome. Great "Reward" but no retirement benefits, as "THE END IS NEAR". No background check or drug testing required but must be "clean" upon application. E-mail resume to God-is-God@Throne.gov

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If it were worded to fit society's image of today's "holy man", perhaps it would look like this:

Professional, Degree Required.

Mature person wanted for high visibility position as "The Profit of Gawd". Meet new people, travel to new places. Prefer multi-media experience. Must have moderate to extensive background in religious study and demonstrated success in planning and implementing profitable evangelistic outreach programs. Marketing degree helpful. Professional appearance required. Experience in mass presentations preferred. Put your high-level contacts to work. Must be ecumenical, results-oriented, over-achiever. Will consider multi-level marketing (pyramid) experience (i.e. Ramway Products, Marie-Que-Paso?-Cosmetics, etc.). Liberal pay and retirement benefits. No background check. Resumes provided. Contact: evilangelists_4_hire@filthylucre.gross. EOE

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A single, scripturally accurate, yet brief job description for a prophet is not possible. There are several reasons for this. There is more than one kind of prophet. This is illustrated by the variety of words which have been translated as the single English word, "prophet". Not all "prophets" dealt directly with eschatology (end-time events). Predicting the future is only one part of prophecy. Many who are called prophets, or who are prophets by one or more definitions, are remembered more for their other accomplishments or activities. In addition, there are different types of prophecies and considerable variation in their delivery. All these factors are discussed in the other articles in this series on Dead Prophets, False Prophets, and Naked Prophets.

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Copyright M.H. and G.H. 1999. All rights reserved.

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