The Ten Circles of Sadness (The Love's Ten Summoning Circles) Dedicated to Sandra Bullock By Lord Julus aka Iulian Ionescu Confession I confess and do forgive me, You, all people in the world, As no hope I have to be Ever loved, although I'm burned By the fire, By the pyre - Love has got me in its wire. So I think I'll write a verse For the one that I do cherish In my mind I will rehearse All those words until I'll perish. The Actress [I] (Sadness) She puts a blue curtain on my eyes, Looking at her I feel how real A web of sadness will arise Leaving nothing else to feel. There she is, behind the screen, There her image feeds my eyes. I can see her, she's a queen And she rules the paradise. I wish to meet her soon and real, But she's always in the lights, So I think my heart will seal And dream the days and dream the nights. The Actress [II] (Never...?) Once upon a time of magic and of wonderful delights I used to watch her and in visions used and to dream her Through the nights. Now my eyes are burning fire nothing lighting in their sights They, beholding my sweat dear, (used to be so bright and clear) Lost their lights. Since I learned I'll never touch her, never hold her at my breast, I couldn't bare understanding I will never have her standing At my chest. Just her image that I'm seeing on the screen I dare to touch, Her face caressing; then, I wondered why my soul is being plundered And suffers such? The Actress [III] (What is love?) I keep asking everybody, I keep bugging people out, I keep asking all the living 'What the Love is all about'? I kept getting only rumors, I kept losing all the Light, I kept feeling lost and lousy Till I saw her in that night. And that moment - Oh, what magic! And that moment - Oh, what sigh! And that moment in my visions It will always live on high. It is her I cannot touch and It is her behind the glass, It is her that I'll desire Till the day away I'll pass. The Actress [IV] (Truth and Illusion) Curly hair, slowly kissing beneath waves the snow-white shoulder, Eyebrows flying like the rainbows, Over eyes that look and wonder. And I dream this every morning, Then I stare up to the skies And in grieving and in moaning I ask God for those brown eyes. Lovely lips and red like roses, Blushing in the times of May, Make you think there is no purpose To live on another day, Unless there is hope that once In a fortune this my love In a blow up will it bounce And will reach her up above. Tiny voice, sweet like honey in the summer. Hear a song arising near, As the words her lips are parting, Like a breeze kissing your ear. And I love her - In my visions I picture her aside by me, But I'm living in illusions That will never withered be. The Actress [V] (She is the Only One) Day by day I browse theaters, Everyday I watch TV, Like there's nothing else that matters, Like there's nothing else to see. And on any station I am on to, No matter what stages I watch, All I hope is just to see you And I'm wanting you so much! Day by day I see the faces, Everyday I watch the Stars, And they are in all the places Walking in their fancy cars. And wherever you may stare If my most delightful princess If I see her anywhere I feel grief and my soul freezes! What are all those people doing? What's their purpose in the play? When there's only One that matters And so shall we all now say! She brings acting up to heaven And if she's playing for a moment The Four Graces will be seven; Everybody feels the torment! The Actress [VI] (Romance) "What have I gotta do to make you love me? What have I gotta do, to be hugged? What do I do when life distracts me And sorry seems to be the hardest word?" I shut the radio and look again At your picture so divine. Are the love songs all in vain And will you never be mine? "Nights in white satin, never reaching the end, Letters I've written, never meaning to send... And I love her, yes I love her, Oh, how I love her!" I close the book, I look at the shelf, All the loving poems that all around I see, Even thou I feel I've written them myself I feel that if she'll read them, she still won't come to me! "Hello, is it me you're looking for? Cause I wonder where you are? And I wonder what you do? Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you Tell me how to win your heart for I haven't got a clue, But let me start by saying: 'I love you'" I lean on down and smell the flowers, The player's playing love songs in my ear, And I wonder which can be those powers That I need to bring you close and near? “It's not unusual to be loved by anyone...” The Actress [VII] (Still I'm sad) Wonders in a world of magic, Troubles in the soul within I'd do all to stop the tragic, Anything to bring her in. This is not how I've pictured my life Nor I ever expected such a pain my soul shall hold All my life I have been happy, Strong, a fighter, young and bold. Never, ever I expected Such a wonderful thing to jump in like that at me Now I'll live within a sadness Which like endless seems to be. Still I'm sad and sad I'll be Till the Gods into a tryst will come together and for me Bring her in the wounds to heal. Now the curtain is about to take her place I wish I was tied in this chair with an iron cord I wish the curtain was bolted in the wall And to bring her close I would praise the Lord. I wish the show will never end Maybe only for a second I'll get a look into her eyes But the lights on stage do blind me... The curtain falls... There goes the Paradise... Wonders in a world of magic... Yes, cause magic seems to be Above real, above logic When the Love net's gripped on me. The Actress [VIII] (Beautiful) What is beauty? People wonder- Everyday inside their mind Images of fairies-angels Grow and only let them blind. Me, a dust into the wind Of our mighty life ahead I have found out the beauty And it doesn't leave my head. Words can never tell the mighty Of thy eyes, beloved princess Songs can never hold the glamour Of the lovely face I witness. Snow will never be as white As thy skin shines in the light And the sea waves, they will never Sparkle as your hair is bright. And thy movement, and thy voice And your breath against the wind In my heart and in my soul deep They will always grip and bind. The Actress [IX] (Jealousy) When I think somewhere someone Holds you close And pulls you near Then I feel jealousy coming Screaming voices In my ear. This is stupid, though I'm thinking Maybe someday Or somehow I won't have to feel it coming And I wonder Why not now? Then again I'm thinking over Feel the truth And see it be: It will always keep on coming Cause she'll never Come to me. The Actress [X] (Final Prayer) Dear God, I send a prayer Just today up to your lair, Make my princess hear my word And I'm praying for this, Lord. Hear my words now for I suffer Hear my words now up above Cause I need her and I love her And all that I feel is Love. At The End Of Journey Through The Ten Circles "Some act of Love's bound to rehears, I thought to bind him, in my verse: Which when he felt, Away (quoth me) Can poets hope to fetter me?" Oh, yes, I tried and I don't know If I did make it, but although Do not ask how, do not ask why, I will just love her till I'll die (quote from English poet Ben Johnson) All rights reserved to Lord Julus at Julus Hard'N'Soft (c) 1996 - Not for commercial use without permission See Home page for e-mail.