June 3rd, 2000 Around 21:00
    Alias: DropYourLoadMofo
    Chatroom: ? (possibly 20s)

    I love these people! When a preteen boy can't accept his sexual orientation, he decides to "test the waters" by logging on these neat little chatrooms with "gurl" names, and hold an unwavering belief in his imaginary body type! Don't understand? Read on, and all will be clear.
Obviously this was a "whisper" chat conducted probably in the 20s chatroom, where most of these teenage boys go to "hang with the older folks". You know what would be really funny? If this really was a girl. Actually, no, that would be scary.
 

Brandy_17: u r a dick head u stupid basterd

DropYourLoadMofo: Thanks for the compliments! You have a wonderful grasp of the english dictionary, you "basterd"! I love that misspelling, it's so quaint!

Brandy_17: fuck u and ur mommy

DropYourLoadMofo: I'm afraid you'll never have that pleasure, your paperroute simple couldn't cover the expense involved for such a pleasure.

DropYourLoadMofo: Hey, do you live on a papermache spacestation?

DropYourLoadMofo: How about in a cardboard box next to the dumpster behind Wendy's?

DropYourLoadMofo: I'm waiting with baited breath for your spontaneous and witty reply!

Brandy_17: well its nice to know u cant spell either (simply)

DropYourLoadMofo: It is nice, isn't it? It comes from typing at a highrate of speed, I get excited when I talk with someone of such a high calibre as yourself!

DropYourLoadMofo: I'm still waiting for your reply about the papermache spacestation!

DropYourLoadMofo: Ohh, those pretty pink colours look so cute on you! I just can't help but giggle at your comments!

Brandy_17: oh ya ur momma lives there

DropYourLoadMofo: No, not yet, though I am building her one for her retirement.

Brandy_17: i talked to her yesterday

DropYourLoadMofo: Wow, you did? You must be quite the young gentlement to accept a long distance call!

DropYourLoadMofo: I'll pause and wait for your reply while you "whisper" with your special male friends.

Brandy_17: u've been talking to a woman

Brandy_17: dumb bitch

DropYourLoadMofo: You could have fooled me, missy.

DropYourLoadMofo: And that's bee-arth. That's MUCH more effective!

DropYourLoadMofo: And now you've gone to a blue typeset, only backing up my claims that you're male. Wow, neat eh?

Brandy_17: r u stupid?

DropYourLoadMofo: Certainly not compared to your excessive intelligence, toughguy!

DropYourLoadMofo: That's so sweet too! Replacing complete words with single characters!

Brandy_17: bitch i got a pussy

DropYourLoadMofo: And I'm sure you feed him the correct formula of Meow Mix. Good for you!

DropYourLoadMofo: Wow, I haven't used this patronizing a tone since I yelled at that busload of handicapped kids on the way to the pub last month. Neat!

DropYourLoadMofo: I can only guess that you're brooding over which new colour scheme to use for your font. Go for red, you know you want to!

Brandy_17: you must be a really strong guy to do that i bet your mommy had to help u

DropYourLoadMofo: Well, no, no she didn't. But I did yell at a few of the handicapped kids mothers on the bus!

DropYourLoadMofo: You know, that's so keen, using generic "mother" insults! That's so damn cute I could puke!

Brandy_17: did you do it so you could get pussy

DropYourLoadMofo: No, I did it because I was swerving in traffic and they were in my way. Simple, neh?

Brandy_17: you are a heartless son of a bitch

DropYourLoadMofo: Yeah, thanks for the compliment, Brandy!

Brandy_17: was your mommy's pussy not good enough

DropYourLoadMofo: Alright, yet another "mother" insult! Keep those little unoriginal quips coming, guy!

Brandy_17: or did your daddy fuck you too much

DropYourLoadMofo: No, no, he did do a lousy job constructing my bigwheel when I was 11 though. But I doubt that counts as child abuse. Bad mechanical skills I suppose.

DropYourLoadMofo: The part where you said "I got a pussy", now THAT was precious! You're completely oblivious to the fact that no woman would say that! Neat!

Brandy_17: I AM A WOMAN. YOU ASSHOLE

DropYourLoadMofo: Once again, you could have fooled me.

Brandy_17: Okay I have a vagina

DropYourLoadMofo: Oh yeah, that's MUCH more believable! Hehe, you're a riot!

DropYourLoadMofo: Hey, next time say "I have girl-parts"! That would be great!

Brandy_17: did the fact that your daddy pulled out too soon result in the way you are

DropYourLoadMofo: Yehaw!! Now we're onto the daddy jokes! You're the best, bud!

Brandy_17: how big are your titties

DropYourLoadMofo: I'd have to be a girl in order to have titties,but apparently you aren't aware of that! Don't worry, sex ed is just around the corner!

DropYourLoadMofo: Hehe, you said "titties". Women love to use that word!

Brandy_17: damn your slow

DropYourLoadMofo: Sorry, I can't help it if I type in complete sentences. I simply can't rely on simple three word answers. I'll work on it though, ok?

DropYourLoadMofo: ...with yo' momma!

DropYourLoadMofo: Oh man, that's a classic, eh?

Brandy_17: are you Canadian or just trailer trash trying to be intelligent

Brandy_17: Oh, did I hurt your feelings

DropYourLoadMofo: Wow, that's quite the compliment, so all Canadians are intelligent! How nice of you to say!

Brandy_17: I said TRYING

DropYourLoadMofo: You're such a special little boy, I think you deserve a cookie!

Brandy_17: Bitch listen--- I AM A GIRL

DropYourLoadMofo: Oh yeah, and so am I! HA!

Brandy_17: Hello, my name is Brandy

DropYourLoadMofo: So automatically your screen name unquestionably denotes your gender, right? Hehe...

DropYourLoadMofo: You're a laugh and a half, bud. You should start your own traveling show! You could call it "No, really, I AM a women!!!". You could make...well, around $20. But do it anyway!

Brandy_17: I'm suprised you can pull something like that out of your vocabulary

Brandy_17: Woman---1 Women---more than 1

DropYourLoadMofo: Damn straight, it helps to be educated properly. Don't worry, once you pass into highschool, you'll start picking up all sorts of neat words!

Brandy_17: nobody says neat anymore

Brandy_17: what era are you from

DropYourLoadMofo: I do! It's "neat"!

DropYourLoadMofo: It's slick too!

Brandy_17: groovy

DropYourLoadMofo: How about "wazzoo"?

DropYourLoadMofo: About about "in denial of ones own gender"? Ok, that's more than one word, I cheated.

DropYourLoadMofo: About = how. But you knew that, right!

Brandy_17: I'm getting ready to shove my foot up your wazzoo

DropYourLoadMofo: But that's not very gentlemenly!

DropYourLoadMofo: What will the other boys say in the playground!

DropYourLoadMofo: Wow, you're one special little boy. You ought to have a telethon!

Brandy_17: you are just jealous beacuse you're not a WOMAN

DropYourLoadMofo: But I told you, I AM a woman! HA!

Brandy_17: YOU ARE SURE NOT ACTING VERY LADY LIKE

DropYourLoadMofo: And the same could be said about you, bud!

Brandy_17: bitches don't act like ladies

Brandy_17: I'm a bitch, you're just a fuck up

DropYourLoadMofo: And neither to preteen boys pretending to be ladies. It's just that simple! Oh man!

DropYourLoadMofo: To = do. Of course, man it's hard to type straight with this much laughter going on!

Brandy_17: don't you mean do

DropYourLoadMofo: Yup, correction already noted.

DropYourLoadMofo: Hey, go back to the pink font, that's more "lady-like"! Hehe

Brandy_17: your daddy must have fucked you so hard that he cause you to have a hole on your head for all the intelligence to leak out

Brandy_17: I'm not giving you the satisfaction

DropYourLoadMofo: Wow, with that single sentence, you've sealed your gender-based fate. Oh man, I think i'm going to need stitches...

Brandy_17: probably because your brain fell straight out your ass

DropYourLoadMofo: If you are a woman, which is highly unlikely, you must have been raised under a pool table in a shady biker bar. Hehe!

Brandy_17: I would need stitches to

DropYourLoadMofo: Wow, that made no sense whatsoever! But I'll let it pass, seeing as it's a joke between us guys! Whoops, I mean girls!

Brandy_17: it sounds like I'm not the one confused about my gender

Brandy_17: I know what I've got and I know you want it

DropYourLoadMofo: I'm almost tempted to do the "I can't believe someone is this aggressively anal about their gender" dance! Where's my CD?!

Brandy_17: sorry for you

DropYourLoadMofo: Sorry, there bud, I don't go in for the "boy parts". But if you have any Ju Ju Bees, I'll take some of those off your hands!

Brandy_17: your hands aren't going anywhere near my VAGINA

DropYourLoadMofo: Yeah, right, vagina...stick to that story, "sister".

DropYourLoadMofo: Look, sparklepants, I hate to break this to you, but I just don't go in for that sort of

thing. I mean, you're funny in a sort of mindless profane drone sort of way, but that whole man-man thing is just unnatural.

Brandy_17: Why don't you check the scroll

Brandy_17: dumb ass

DropYourLoadMofo: I'm so happy I'm going to draw a cartoon about you! I can just picture the glazed look on the face right now!

Brandy_17: You're just mad because you incompetent

DropYourLoadMofo: Why, thanks for the additional compliment, Mr.Brandy!

DropYourLoadMofo: You're. Right?

Brandy_17: i know

DropYourLoadMofo: I love it when people make insults about my intelligence while practicing bad grammer and spelling, it's so sweet!

Brandy_17: I'm always right

DropYourLoadMofo: Except when it comes to your gender! Yay!

Brandy_17: your

Brandy_17: excuse me

Brandy_17: that's what happens when you type fast

DropYourLoadMofo: No, you're. As in "you" and "are". Contractions are fun!

DropYourLoadMofo: Ditto, neat huh?

Brandy_17: YOU ARE INCOMPETENT

DropYourLoadMofo: Try placing a period at the end of that sentence, guy, it'll be more effective!

Brandy_17: and unitelligent

Brandy_17: as well as egotistical

Brandy_17: and self- centered

DropYourLoadMofo: Hehe, you might want to save some money from that paper-route of yours, billy, and pick up a dictionary. Yehaw!

Brandy_17: damn hick

DropYourLoadMofo: Well, i have to say, you're at least one of the more entertaining males I've met on these chatrooms!

Brandy_17: you win goodbye

DropYourLoadMofo: Hey, add an exclamation mark on the end of that, and it's even more insulting! Wee!

DropYourLoadMofo: Goodbye, sir, have fun in your gender non-biased life!

DropYourLoadMofo: (I am of course waiting for the final and last installment of the "mother" insult)

Brandy_17 has left the conversation.