"Remember everything," she said. "Only memories remain."
--Counting Crows

I remember lying on the bed beside you
The last time we were together.
I remember the gentleness of your hands
On my skin, the patterns they traced
Lingering like a trail of fire,
Like the trail of clouds
An airplane leaves behind.

I remember the last time I saw you.
It was late at night, my visit unexpected.
"You're crazy, you know that? You're insane."
I remember the drive was short,
A small price to pay for companionship,
And your words were affectionately meant.
"I'm not crazy, I'm lonely, there's a difference."

I remember when I said goodbye to you,
Some easiness between us lost
In ill-advised moments in the dark.
You looked far away over my head,
And told me I would be all right.
I pretended I believed you,
Started the car and left for the last time.

I remember you all behind closed eyes,
In swirling colors that quiver
Like frightened cats at the weight of memory.
I can't seem to forget a damned thing,
Not the colors of your eyes
Or the sounds of your voices
Or the way any of you looked at me
That one last time.
I remember. I do remember.

May 1998

Back to the front!
Back whence you came!