I asked Simon for a story about Faust, after Simon had seen this page.
Here's the story I got. I've edited it a little for consistency, but
otherwise have left Simon's elliptical writing style alone. Once you're
used to it, it reads like some strange free verse.


you live in mini-apples [Minneapolis]....it gets cold as
fuck...and snows...and well the city shuts down....
these storms like to travel real fuckin
slow...and well one night....like 6:00 in the middle of
one of these -whole state is frozen and you should stay
home storms-...we make the cry "MiNi-ApPlEs or die".....
faust and this cat named zo...and me simon jump into faust's car....
we are drivin our ass out of town...zo -damn
its cold-...faust -the car will warm up- .....simon -we are going to die-
20mins later..we pull into a farm and fleet....
armed with little cards of debt..we rush into the
store looking for warmth....
i buy big fuckin boots...zo a hat and gloves....
faust the cat coolest cat of them all...refuses
not to wear his fashion, yet he worked in pair of boots...buys
inso-socks....fuckin like 24 bucks.
making the long story short..we get to
mini-apples....
we start to party, faust is talking to
chicks....in first ave [a club in Mpls]...drunk simon and faust...they have
been kicked already out of ground zero [another club]...(well I
was)...livin fat....faust -hey simon my feet are so warm!- girl sitting with us
-why?-...faust -inso-socks baby-
all true...i think it was his pick up line...



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