I have not seen tomorrow
Though, it is true,
I am older than my age
It was fate turned my world to darkness-
(Or desire.)
Night has no hold on me
Only comfort.
I, too, know the light
But the brightest rays do nothing
To light the darkness in my soul.
But, with darkness comes strength.
I am not so different from you
As you would wish to believe.
I have dreams and I have nightmares.
Dreams in sleep-
Nightmares on waking.
I am not unlike those who,
Upon seeing their own shadow on a wall
Recoil in fear.
The horror is- my fear is real.
I have become the god of my world
But, I must will myself to act.
I must will myself.
Without will, there is nothing.
And you talk of eternity then.
Nothing.
I often think of it-
Nothingness.
It is held before me
A constant reminder
That I must be who I am.
I did not wish myself upon the world
And yet I am here-
And not here.
To walk among you unseen,
Unfelt.
And you ask what it is like
To live forever.
© 1997 nosferaustin@hotmail.com
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