"I am learning too, learning very fast, but the learning takes place entirely within - people want me to take part in experience in the outside world, go there, do that, but i say why should i embark on such enterprises with their attendant cost and risk when there is so much still to be experienced in the inner world? - i have realized i am like a marionette but with the possibility of detaching myself from my source of power and direction, busy removing one by one the strings that connect me to the source, until, wonder! i have removed the last string and yet somehow still remain suspended, still with the power to move and direct myself yet still at one with the source, so what i direct is the same as what would be directed if the strings were still present - knowing suddenly, that there exists the ultimate sanction, if i transgress too far from that which is preordained, to be annihilated at once, for ever excluded from the continual process of death and rebirth - and having confronted this annihilation, and known how it might be, that is to be _really_ free..."

12 January 1998

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