Accident-prone and often wrong, the number of this Beast is more likely to be 999.
He extracts microchips with a hammer and chisel, and leaves the power on while he works "like a real technician". Unaltered by events of the last fifty years, he has never thrown out a valve.
The talent of the Beast for irrelevance is truly hat-stand. For example, he profoundly remarked on hearing of the demise of the Berlin Wall, "I hear Argos are having a sale."
Musically destined to remain a child, his favourite song is "If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands". While not related to John Merrick, he insists "I am not an animal - I am a human Boeing."