It all started like this...
One morning, I was musing on God's command to husbands as recorded in Ephesians and I Peter: "Husbands, love your wives." All of a sudden, it dawned on me: this is probably the dumbest command in all of the Bible. After all, isn't love the reason that I married my wife?
Since I love a good connundrum and since I believe that God had to have a reason for putting that command in there, I felt that this topic was worthy of additional thought during the day. But during my one-hour commute to Fresno State University, I was busy listening to the local Christian radio station. The program I was listening to got me thinking about Jesus' time on earth. What was He busy doing? Was He busy protesting immorality in His society? Was He preaching against the horrors of abortion or against special rights for homosexuals? No, He preached against hypocracy and gave as much as He could to the needy.
So how does that relate to "Love your wife..."?
It doesn't, but it makes you think, huh? It made me think and I was thinking about Jesus' surprise encounter with an adulteress. Here was a woman who, according to the testimony we have, was caught in the very act of adultery and He shows love. He confronts the hypocrites (who were interested in trapping Jesus and not with the woman's sin) then turns and forgives the woman. Amazing love...
And I thought back to His last night on earth with His disciples. "By this will all men know that you are my disciples: that you love one another," He said (John 13:35)...boy, do we need to hear that more often. Another scripture came to mind: "Owe no man anything, except the continuing debt of love." (Romans 13:8) Now I'm beginning to see a pattern. Love is a key issue here.
Thank you for stating the obvious...
It's a talent that I have.
Knowing that love is the key doesn't work out very practically. Later that day, a charming individual decided to cut me off just to get to a freewaay on-ramp. Of course, as a Christian, I pulled over and began praising God for the opportunity to allow this person safe passage to the freeway. (Right, and a cow sprouted wings and flew away, too!) No, I began my attempt to return the favor when the phrase "Give love" came to mind.
The prayer meeting that occurred as I pulled on to the south-bound 41 freeway seemed to be as inspired as the thought that spurred it on. At that point,it was obvious that there was in me no ability, desire or strength to give love to that other driver. So I presented myself to the Lord; I called on God to fullfill His claim on me by "resealing" me with his Spirit (Eph. 1:13) or filling me with His Spirit once again, to overcome my flesh and allow the love of God to fill me and then to flow through me to the other driver. After all, "if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you." Romans 8:11 I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that God answered my prayer right then and put down the hellish flames of my flesh like a full-pressure water hose.
Move over Elijah, here comes Ken...
Okay, so I'm not the great man of faith that you thought I was, but at least I got the hint: in order to love as commanded, the regenerated/saved person must rely on God's strength to have any ability to love. I began to see why God commanded men to love their wives also: I tend to drop my spiritual guard when I get home, which leaves me wide open for attack. As a human being, as a man, I take my responsibility as the leader of my household seriously. Wives and children, who also happen to be human beings, are not always willing to bend over backwards to fullfill my every wish and demand. This causes the fleshly friction which ignites my anger. Now this anger of mine, which is my responsibility, is not part of God's plan. If you don't believe me, read Galatians 5:19-24 for yourself. So what do you do when your family, right or wrong, is unwilling to follow your lead? Give LOVE. Pray your guts out, men, before you walk into your house at the end of your work day; there are still flawed individuals you need to deal with and show God's love to. Yes, you love them (or you did once) and you can make a significant difference in their lives by giving love.
Do you really think it's as easy as that?
I don't believe in the "magic wand" cure anymore than the next pragmatic Christian. I don't think Christ believed in it either, and I quote Him from the Gospel of John: "In this world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33b This does not mean we do not have an obligation to obey our Lord simply because we think it is imposible or difficult. Let us remember that we were called to die to ourselves daily and pick up our cross. Putting aside our needs and desires is part of denying ourselves and loving others when we would rather yell and scream and force others to submit to our demands (as righteous as they may be) is very much picking up our cross.
Give LOVE
It requires a commitment, it requires the support of your brothers in Christ, your wife and a lot of prayer. If you are willing to make the commitment, send a prayer request and let us support you with prayer. If you have any needs but are concerned about others criticizing or condemning you, the prayer list offers complete anonymity, there is no need to not receive the help from God that you need.