by Jenn Lamotte (15)
I am alive but not willingly
The depression inside me kills me slowly and painfully.
It eats away at my soul
And has devoured my heart.
I can feel my soul leaving my body
An inch farther each day.
I can feel it leaving
Going to swim in the sea of memories
And again getting crushed by the waves of time.
And I'm sure when it leaves I will feel no different.
A half person.
I talk of dying.
I talk of death.
But I know what I talk of,
I don't have the will to achieve.
I sometimes wish I could tell it to leave.
That part of me that is not me.
But it stays.
That part of me that I loved but never loved me back.
That part of me that plays with and harrasses my heart.
And it stays.
I try to disguse it
But it is sometimes revealed.
Because it is me.
Nothing more and nothing less.
It controls me no more than I tell it to.
And although it is my curse it just as much my power.
And I know one day I'll be able to find my lost soul.
And reunite it slowly and painfully.
And then I will be complete.
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