…. ‘The unexamined life is not worth living,’ according to Plato, and I tend to agree with him. This is my attempt at self-reflection, at baring my soul to the harsh revelations that I may encounter. You might ask, "Shouldn’t a self-revelation be kept to oneself, as is implied by the very term ‘self-revelation,’ not put out for public display on a web page, like a whore baring her legs for her potential customers?" Perhaps…but I think that a person is more likely to be honest in his judgements of himself if he knows that others may be reading his writing. He may try to soften the truth, but that is cowardice; I will do my best to bare all without flinching.

….One evening, Cobalt asked me, "What do you value? What would you defend to your last breath?" These questions took me a little off-guard; I had never had to fight for anything, my values were untested. I had doubts that I did really value anything—perhaps I was so jaded that nothing could stir my passions. But then I thought about what I’ve reveled in, and what I am aiming for, and what I cannot see myself living without. I tentatively concluded that the most important thing in the world to me is my mind. My intelligence, my ability to think freely, my right to think freely—this is what I would not, nay—could not, give up. Cobalt asked, "Is that not freedom, then?" I shook my head, "No, not merely freedom. I would rather be enslaved physically than lose my ability to think. That is not an ideal situation, mind you, but if I had to choose between the freedom to think while being enslaved, and having physical freedom while losing some of my mental facilities, I would choose to be enslaved."

….This goes along with the slightly frightening revelation that I supposedly have one of the best minds at my university. And at a relatively selective university, this is nothing at which to scoff. If I (me, the one whom everyone thinks of as slightly eccentric and rather weird) am one of the best minds here, then what does that say for the rest of the students? I have to admit that most of them seem rather stupid (stupidity is one of my pet peeves), and I can’t help thinking, ‘I am attending a selective university, filled with supposedly bright people—what the hell is happening to the rest of the country, if this is our best?!’ Perhaps I am just being elitist, egocentric, and snobbish, though. *shrug* If so…oh, well—I do not see any need to change my thinking on this. I still relate to people the same, I do not shun someone for being dense; the only way it changes my relations to others, though, is in the fact that I would never be attracted to a man who was less intelligent than myself.

….There will always be more to add to my self-dialogue…to be updated soon.