Flamingoland is a theme park and zoo near Malton; about half way between York and the coast. It was chosen because it offered the cheapest group rates amongst the similar attractions and was not too far away. We planned to leave Mytholm at 8.30 but spent 10 minutes waiting for one lad to turn up. We then pocketed his deposit and left anyway. The coach made it in just under 2 hours arriving at 10.45 and left again at 6; apart from a brief meeting to gather up packed lunches and eat them we did not see most of the party between these times.

I dragged my son around the zoo part which he flew around pretty rapidly being more interested in the rides that are the obvious attraction of the venue. Still there are flamingos, quite a few of them and they are pink although their position to one corner of the park was hardly central. Various grazing animals like zebra, lamas and buffaloes had good-sized paddocks. The lions and tigers on the other hand were closely caged to stop them eating the other attractions and paying public. There was a fine collection of baboons, a large number of baby baboons hinting at a rather too successful breeding program.

Most of the group headed straight for the rides and stayed there. Some managed to rendezvous back at a picnic site to eat their packed lunches and then returned to the queues. For those without packed snacks or the desire to eat tea as well as lunch there was plenty of food on sale. As might be expected this could have been better quality and could have been cheaper. You could survive on a snack for £1 but a meal of fish and chips or chicken and (wait for it) chips would set you back £3. None of this includes drinks and the £3 just about fills you up; no leftovers on the side of the plate.

In general the more worrying the ride the longer the wait to go on it. Those with little boxes holding two or four took longest to fill up and generated queues. We waited about ½ hour to go on two minutes or less of log flume. A longer wait was required to go on the waltzers that were unusually popular considering that they are de-rigeur at fairgrounds. Those rides that filled up some sort of frame and then tipped it into unexpected angles were easier to get on as a large number of people could be debouched when the ride stopped. In some cases it was possible to get onto a suitably worrying ride as soon as the last run had stopped. I was still accompanied by the son so only managed to sneak onto the Terroriser that tilted you upside down and left you there and the UFO that used centrifugal force to spin upside down; quite tame compared to the previous ride. The son did get into the queue for the merry-go-round but bottled out when he saw that it went up as well as out. I stayed on and found the refreshing lack of safety harnesses an added bonus. Naturally most of the older visitors tried to go on all the high or wobbly rides; you can spend all day waiting for two or three rides in this sort of place but they seem to have crammed in a good proportion of the available thrills. Various shows were also provided but I could not get the son to stay still long enough to experience these; all I caught was the end of the performing parrots.

There were no complaints about the trip; Flamingoland is not the sort of place to bring your granny although someone did (and grandpa too; he won a stuffy pooh bear on a side-show). One kid choked on the way home but survived otherwise no injuries either. The coach was hired from B&S in Todmorden for the predictable reason that they were the cheapest to be found at £220 for the day. They took a deposit and were paid off when we got back. By paying in advance Flamingoland tickets were £6 a head with 1 free organiser’s ticket, the money from this going towards the cost of the coach. The lucky driver got free entrance and lunch vouchers though. We were able to return unused tickets at the gate so had been able to secure plenty of tickets with no risk. We then charged £11 each for the whole trip and just managed to break even.