PERSONHOOD

For many of us freedom means the opportunity to lead a life as we want to live. We can couch the extent of freedom in our lives with the self imposed restriction, "If only....", but by responding to those great urges within us, we can make attempts to remove the restrictions and deal with the frustrations and exasperations that face so many of us daily. These struggles sometimes seem endless and unrelenting forces seem always in the way of gaining release. There is a better way...a way devoid of empty wishing or attempts to change others, or futilely letting others decide things for you. That way to freedom depends solely upon what you choose. And if you aren't convinced of this truth by now, you haven't read enough of our pages or you choose to ignore the evidence. Please don't do that to yourself.
The odds against a free life may seem quite formidable. Yet, there are many individuals who live their lives at a level of freedom they choose without waiting for others around them to change. Your personal freedom is possible just as soon as you determine that is what you want. If you are not living at a level of freedom you wish, right now; Why not? Why aren't you able to live the life you wish, in the manner you choose? Have certain people or institutions restrained you from gaining freedom over your own life's activities? Are you in prison? Are you committed to a mental health facility? Are you physically shackled, manacled, or roped? If not, you can break free. Start doing that right now! Understand your basic rights! Here they are:

Most of these rights have meaning to all of us. Having a right does not mean it can be demanded, however. Rights have to be offered to each by the other. If these can't be gained equitably, all interactors lose and our quality of life and personhood suffers. The basis of healthy living is the interpersonal willingness to construct a workable plan, and then to follow it.

Avoiding traps
In another page we talked about the "traps" set for us by others, or our own choices. We look again a some distinguishing concepts in three of these situations. Check these against your own personhood.

  1. The Identity Trap is the situation you are in when you accept someone else's beliefs as your own or make the assumption that someone else will see things the way you do. It is set for you by parents, children, friends, other significant others, even bosses and co-workers. They insist you see things their way rather than from your unique perspective, knowledge framework, or experiential background. You have to have a good conception of the value of your understandings before you can escape this trap. Here are some thoughts on that:
    • Strive to become the real you. Accept your uniqueness and allow it to work for you. Consider yourself the best authority on you, because you are.
    • Act on your own knowledge as to what is best for you and make your best effort at producing your own happiness.
    • Treat others according to the views stated above and help them strive to seek their own identity.


  2. The Morality Trap is the belief that someone can create a morality code that you must follow. There is nothing wrong with morals, but if you engage in or avoid behavior you deem appropriate simply because it does not fit the morals of others, you are falling into the trap. Our guru, Dr. Browne sources, 1973 describes three different kinds of morality: 1) personal - in which you engage in behaviors of your choice accepting the resulting consequences and responsibilities, 2) universal - the morality code that everyone is suppose to adhere to but few seldom do, and 3) absolute - standards set by an authority to which everyone is expected to surrender part of their happiness, freedom, and individuality. Can we do less than to say that you are left with the freedom to choose the kind of morality that you desire in order to avoid this trap.

  3. The Utopia Trap is the belief that you have to work at creating better conditions for society before your world can be better. You can easily see so many social ills, governmental problems, difficult human circumstances, and just plain unhappiness that need correcting. What you want to understand, however, is that changing all that is beyond your control and not necessary to your own happiness and freedom. You only need to change things in your own separate world. You want to take really good care of your part and the rest will fall into place. Our lives are much too short and unpredictable to dedicate anything we can't give to such a large undertaking.
Browne goes on to give us pointers on avoiding and escaping other traps: the government trap, the certainty trap, the despair, the rights, the group trap, even the box trap. He clearly describes how easily we fall into these traps and more importantly, how we can free ourselves from them. The reader can pursue Browne's original writings for additional information. For that reference and other explanations.... Click here.

Acceptance is Freedom
All of us from time to time, face failure, frustration, disappointment, heartbreak, or other of those maladies of living. Life brings its travails. We might heed the maxim:"If you can't make the system fit you, fit yourself to the system!" There are a lot of us that don't like that concept, but it makes living a lot easier sometimes and sure is worth the considerations and cost that are required to give it credence. In Tenderness is Strength, sources, 1977, among his many warm and comforting messages, Hal Lyon tells us that acceptance is freedom. When you are willing to accept other people, then you will also find that you will be unwilling to allow other people to judge you or try to change you. You will be creating more freedom for yourself, just as you are helping others create more freedom for themselves. If you do this, you'll have more space to enjoy your relationships with other people, and your relationships with them will be characterized less by a sense of forcing and more by a sense of tenderness and flow. With similar thoughts in mind, we move toward thinking of personal freedom this way. The more giving, the more independent, the more individual a person is, the more he'll be capable of loving, not only others, but himself/herself. He'll more highly valued because he will be the rare individual who is strong enough to free himself. And the corollary to this: If you love someone, set him/her free. If he/she comes back to you willingly, it is more likely because he/she wants to be there. Once you determine the degree of freedom you ask of others, you will find you are more able to extend greater freedom to others.

Personhood is not a GOD given right, but it can be earned for oneself by one's own actions and decisions. All of our life forces strive for that. By freeing these forces, the singular personhood that is within each of us, emerges.

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