Title: Watching and Waiting 6/?
Author: Chris (teufelce@a...)
Rating: PG-13, profanity, implied m/m sexual situations
Feedback: This series is my first attempt at writing slash, so any feedback
would be greatly appreciated!
Disclaimer: The characters and universe of X-Men are the property of 20th
Century Fox and the Marvel Entertainment Group. This story is for
entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.
Pairing: Wolverine and Remy
Summary: Rude awakenings...
Series: Watching and Waiting
Archive: If you want it - please just let me know where.
Thanks to: First and foremost, Lee - for convincing me to do this. And to Z
and Jo - for always being there when I needed you- thanks, mates.
Notes: /..../ - indicates thoughts
*FLASH* Immobility... blinding pain....
*FLASH* Lights... so bright... can't scream...
"Cher?"
*FLASH* Masked faces... glint of sharp metal...
"Cher... réveilles-toi..."
*FLASH* PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN
"Cher! Réveilles-toi!"
Logan snapped awake, a scream dying on his lips as his body tried to arch
upwards off the bed. A firm hand on his chest forced him back down as his
lungs struggled for air. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness of the
room, he could make out Remy's face hovering over him, eyebrows furrowed with
concern. He lifted a shaky hand to rub the beaded sweat from his face, a
harsh sigh falling from his mouth as his eyes closed tight against the
remnants of panic still coursing through him.
"Wanna talk about it, cher?" The sound of the Cajun's low voice was soothing
in his ears, as the other man propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand
gently brushing dampened hair from Logan's forehead.
"Nightmare..." His own voice sounded hoarse and rough in the quiet of the
room, as though raw from hours of screaming, and he felt a surge of
uneasiness over how vulnerable he'd made himself to sleep next to someone.
Cracking his eyes, he was surprised to see the expression of tender sympathy
on Remy's face and felt his heart squeeze in his chest.
"You have dese... nightmares often, cher?"
"Sometimes every night, sometimes a week goes by without one, but... yeah,
often enough..." Logan whispered, the memories of what he'd dreamed already
fading, the emotions they'd stirred up lingering more tenaciously. Something
akin to pain flickered across the taller man's face and then Remy was
slipping an arm behind his head, pulling Logan into a tight embrace. He
tensed for a long moment, resisting the offered comfort as instincts of
self-preservation screamed at him to show no further weakness. /Fuck it/, he
thought bitterly, forcing his muscles to relax in the circle of the other
man's arms. /I'm tired of it... Tired of waking up terrified and alone...
Don't wanna deal with it anymore... Too tired.../ As exhaustion began to
take hold once again, he felt Remy place a soft kiss against his hair.
"S'okay, cher... relax ... no one gonna hurt you now, cher... Remy won' let
dem..." The gentle lilt of the velvet accent lulled Logan and his eyes began
to slide shut. His mind not registering the continued whispers as sleep
claimed him once more. "Not alone anymore, cher... no more..."
~~~~~~~~~
He was having another nightmare. Thick viscous liquid was smothering him and
he couldn't break free from the restraints binding him. As his terror built,
he could feel Remy shaking him, trying to get through to him through the
panic. He couldn't break free... The sharp pain in his knuckles and a soft,
gurgling gasp brought his eyes open in an instant. To find his claws
embedded in Remy's chest, dark blood spilling across his hand as the Cajun
stared back at him with confused reproach in his eyes. Eyes whose red glow
dimmed and faded as Logan looked on in horror. Snapping the blades back into
their sheaths with a sick, sucking sound, Remy gave one last wet sigh before
collapsing motionless against the sheets. Logan threw back his head and
howled in agony. "No!!!!!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~
Lungs laboring in terrified panic, Logan's eyes snapped open. It was a long
moment before the sound of deep breathing and the feel of warm arms tight
around him registered over the roaring in his ears. /Oh god... thank god...
just a dream.../
Logan shifted within the other man's embrace, earning a muttered protest,
turning so that he could see the Cajun's face. Even in the darkness of the
room, he could make out Remy's delicate features and he spent a long moment
just letting his eyes linger over that face. In sleep, Remy's face had
softened, losing that careful guarded look that was always there during his
waking hours. He looked peaceful, angelic - innocent. Looking down on that
beautiful face, Logan felt a stab of pain as memories of his dream came
crashing down on him. He could've killed him. How it could happen any time,
with such horrific ease. One nightmare, bad enough to release the claws, and
all the love inside him wouldn't be able to save the man sleeping beside him.
He couldn't risk it. No amount of peace, no amount of pleasure was worth
that kind of loss.
Feeling as if his heart were cracking to pieces inside of an aching chest,
Logan slowly slid out of the embrace and from beneath the sheets. Remy
mumbled in his sleep, hand reflexively tightening against the still warm spot
where Logan had lay, before he sank deeper into sleep again. Silently
pulling his jeans on, Logan picked up his shirt and shoes and turned for the
door. His hand stilled on the knob and he closed his eyes against the pain
inside. Against the urge to go back to that bed and those arms.
Turning slowly, he looked one last time at the lean body sprawled so
unselfconsciously across the satin sheets. When his eyes began to sting, he
bit back a low snarl and turned back to the door.
"It's better this way..." he whispered, before yanking the door open,
stepping into the empty hall and pulling it shut behind him. /This way, no
one gets hurt.../
~~~~~~~~~
Once again, Logan found himself the center of attention when he stalked into
the kitchen just after dawn. This time, only Scott and Ororo were present -
Jean had flown down to D.C. for hearings before the Senate on the proposed
Mutant Registration Bill. Scott uttered a curt, "Logan", by way of greeting
and stood sipping his coffee. Face, as always, an unreadable mask beneath
those glasses. Ororo looked up from her breakfast at the table, the smile on
her face dying when she took in the dark circles around his eyes and the
palpable dark cloud hovering around him. He ignored them both, grabbing a
mug of black coffee and slumping into a chair in the corner.
He'd done the right thing. He knew he had. He couldn't risk hurting Remy.
So why did it hurt so damn much? Lost as he was in his thoughts, the slight
sound of movement in the hallway and the steadily increasing scent of the
Cajun was all the preparation Logan needed to school his face into an
emotionless mask.
Remy's hair was still damp from the shower and there was a bounce to his step
as he swept into the kitchen, slapping Scott on the back and almost making
the other man choke on his coffee, as he turned a brilliant smile on Ororo.
"How's Remy's favorite goddess dis mornin', eh?" The grin on the Cajun's
face began to fade as he took in the tight concern on Ororo's, her eyes
flickering to where Logan sat silently. The smile fell completely as Logan
stood without a word. "Cher?" The confusion in Remy's voice tore at Logan's
control. He had to get out of there. *Now*. Not stopping to acknowledge
the thief's words, Logan pushed roughly past him and fled the kitchen.
It was the right thing to do. It had to be...
~~~~~~~~~
Between occupying himself with making repairs out at the boathouse, and
working on his bike in the garage, Logan managed to avoid the Cajun for most
of the afternoon. The thought that he wasn't really trying all that hard to
hide, that both places would have been obvious to anyone who knew him, was
ruthlessly crushed. As was the more painful thought that Remy wasn't even
looking for him.
Throwing down a wrench with a muttered curse, Logan climbed to his feet. All
the pain and anger and frustration was driving him insane. Only one way to
burn off that kind of tension. Wiping the grease from his hands, he stalked
into the mansion and headed for the Danger Room and a few rounds of
mind-numbing violence.
He'd only just entered the room and was standing at the console, keying in
the simulations he wanted, when he heard the hydraulic doors slide shut with
a bang. Nostrils flaring, he felt his heart begin to thud against his
ribcage as the thief's scent washed over him. Turning slowly, he slapped a
scowl on his face.
Remy was standing inside the door, hands clenched into fists at his side,
eyes glittering dangerously.
"You got a problem, Gumbo? I'm trying to work out, here," he growled
roughly, avoiding meeting those eyes directly.
"Oh, oui, Remy got a problem, homme... He wanna know why you take off in de
middle of de night wit'out even a 't'ank you', and den treat him like de
plague in de middle of de damn kitchen!" Whoa. The kid was definitely
pissed...
"Yeah, well, it was fun while it lasted, but I got better things to do,"
Logan bit out, turning back to the console. /Hurt him. Make him think you
don't want him. Then he'll back off.../
"Better t'ings to do? Like runnin', homme? Jus' a quick tumble all you
wanted from Remy, eh?" The voice was low, the accent thick with anger and
something else. Something Logan didn't want to identify. He spun back
around at the accusation, forcing anger onto his own face.
"I don't run, kid. And I don't want anything from you." Remy's eyes
narrowed in repsponse.
"You forgetin' Remy's an empat', homme... He know your lyin'... An' ain't
eit'er of us leavin' dis room til you tell him why you runnin' from what you
feel." Logan could feel the bottom of his stomach drop out with that harshly
delivered promise, and he watched helplessly as Remy's fingers punched in the
code that would keep the door sealed against intrusion. Locking them both
inside...
End of Chapter 6