"My Little Runaway"

Chapter Three: Illusions Ungranted

Remy swung his long legs up onto the bed and pulled himself
into a ball, sharp chin resting on his bony knees. He kept his eyes
closed, trying to disconnect himself from the slowly rising dawn, trying
to ignore the sleep-mumbles of Henri, trying to hide himself in the
shadows.
He didn't want to marry, but everyone expected him to.
It was his duty, as Jean-Paul's son.
To forge a peace, he had to give up his own.
It hurt.
Tears squeezed out onto his lashes, but he fought them down,
swallowing convulsively.
Despite his relative youth, he'd developed a reputation as a
ladies' man, with his quick, lazy smile and always-hidden eyes, a
reputation he'd cultivated.
Wiping his eyes now, he tried to think of the positive, to
divide his mind into sections, as Logan had taught him.
Logan! the slash-whip of pain finally made him bury his face
against his knees, feeling tears slide down his cheeks despite his best
efforts.
He had only started to realize that his heart was not focused
on the many partners he'd had - certainly he'd enjoyed them, and tried
hard to make sure that they'd enjoyed him, but every time he came away
from the experiance, he felt dirty.
Cheap.
Every time he had sex, it was Logan's face he saw, the kind
eyes of a dead man.

Bella was a beautiful woman.
Intelligent, determined, and proud, she held her head up and
didn't look at anyone during the entire ceremony.
Remy felt a sense of tired pain waver in his heart as he
glanced sidelong at the woman he was marrying.
He hadn't seen her in years, and now he was becoming her
husband.
Husband.
The young man dimly heard the instructions to kiss his new
bride, and mechanically bent to gently brush her lips with his. Saw -
what?
Sorrow. Comprehension. Empathy.
Remy mouthed "I'm sorry" to her, and she took his hand.
It was done.
He had never felt more alone.

In the end, a silent understanding was forged between husband
and wife.
"I know you don't love me." she had said.
He'd tried to comfort her, and Bella raised a hand, eyes never
wavering.
"Do you?"
Remy opened his mouth, then closed it. He put a gentle hand to
the side of her face, staring into her eyes, trying to see the girl he'd
known.
Bella shook her head. "Non, Remy. You don't love me. And I know
you never can." she said, gently, no anger in her voice. Just a kind of
rueful sadness. "You don't even know why."
"Remy...care for you." he said, and that, at least, was honest.
"But not love me." her voice was soft, eyes on his face.
"I..."
"Remy. We don't have to play a game to keep the Guilds at
peace." she rested a hand on his. "You live your life, and I mine. Oui?"
He closed his eyes, a single tear tracing down the sharp angle
of his cheek.
Bella kissed it away, and he held her for a moment, loving her
as much as he could.
"Why?" he whispered, voice full of anguish and confusion,
self-reproach and bewildered hurt. "What wrong wit me, Bella? What...?"
She placed a finger on his lips.
"You not love me, Remy, an' I know - you love your heart away
t' someone else. I understan' that." she said, heart aching for the
handsome young man she had married, even knowing he could never give her
his heart, his love.
She loved him, had always loved him, and he cared enough to her
to be honest, open.
Gave her the love he had to offer.
But in the end, it wasn't enough to save them.