“ END PROGRAM!” Scott screamed into the microphone in the control room. “ Logan, what the HELL is wrong with you today!” There was a click and everyone watched as Scott moved away from the window, presumably to join them in the Danger Room. A few moments later the heavy metal door slid open and Cyclops strode in and straight up to Wolverine, “ What were you doing! That Sentinel almost got Bobby! If Storm hadn’t stopped it he would be seriously injured right now!” Logan cocked his head to the side “So”?
“ SO! I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you but it doesn’t enter the Danger Room. EVER!”
“ Look Cyke, you don’t know what happened 3 days ago so you missed the fun. Didn’t Hank talk to ya?”
“ He mentioned that Gambit had pneumonia and was staying at your cabin.” Scott looked closer at the man, “ Is there a problem with the arrangements, you look beat.” He looked around the room “ Look people, let’s call it a day. I have a feeling I’m missing something big here.” As everyone left the room Logan said “Get Jeannie and meet me in the kitchen, I need a beer.” Scott sighed, once again he was going to be the last to know something important.

“ Hello Logan, it’s good to see you.” Jean smiled as Logan entered the kitchen and went right for the fridge and the beer. “ Hi Red, good to have you back but did ya have to bring Scooter?” She laughed and hugged him “ I missed you too. What’s up? He said there was something going on between you and Bobby. What’d he do this time?”
“ Let’s wait for Cyke, I need to check in with Hank.” He moved to the pantry and hit his Comm badge. “ Blue?”
“ How was practice?”
“ I wanted to let a Sentinel stomp the Ice cube.”
“ Did you?”
“ Nah, Storm saved his butt. How’s the kid.”
“ He’s sleeping right now. Don’t worry, I won’t leave him alone.” Hank said with a smile.
“ Can ya stay a while longer, I’m gonna fill Cyke and Jeannie in on what’s been going on.”
“ Stay as long as you need. I have papers to go over.”
“ Are they there with you? If you need to leave I’m comin back.” Logan said. Hank laughed again, “ I brought them along. I must say Logan, I like this side of you.”
“ Shut up Blue. See ya later. Tell Remy…” He stopped when he noticed Scott and Jean staring at him eyebrows raised “ Later.”
“ Okay, what was THAT about?” Jean rubbed his back “ Scott, let’s stick to one thing at a time, okay?” She started to say something else when she got a flash from Logan’s mind. “Logan?” she asked, needing confirmation. “ I’ve been crazy about him forever Jeannie. I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out yerself. It all came out three days ago. We’re gonna make this work. I’M gonna make this work, here or someplace else it don’t matter. We are gonna be together, You got a problem with that?”  He stared at the couple daring them to say anything negative. “ I don’t need this place, I don’t need any of you, I don’t need anything,… but Remy.”  Jean squealed “ Oh Logan, I’m so happy for you! Isn’t it wonderful  Scott.” She hugged her husband’s arm. “ So tell me, how does Remy feel about all this?” Logan sighed and sat down “ He’s a mess Red. He’s at the cabin because Ice cube and Wings decided to redecorate his room. There wasn’t much that I could salvage. Wings is in his face every chance he gets. Don’t even get me started on Rogue. He’s so depressed and he’s sick right now so that’s not helping. He’s not the Remy you remember, he’s scared of everything.”  Scott and Jean looked at each other and sat down. “We go away for a few weeks and everything falls to pieces.” Scott sighed, “ Okay, tell me about Bobby…”
 
By the time Logan made his way back to his cabin it was getting dark. As he got closer the hair on the back of his neck stood up and he broke into a run. He forced himself to slow as he entered so he wouldn’t spook Remy. Hank looked over his shoulder then back at Remy. “ What’s up Blue?” Logan asked as he slowly came closer. “ I’m not sure. This dream was different.” Remy was shivering in a corner of the room, knees pulled up to his chest, eyes wide and full of some unspeakable fear. He’d been having almost constant nightmares. His fever induced confession three days ago started them. The wall he’d built as a child to protect himself from the painful memories had fallen. Now the memories were free and constantly battering his mind. Logan inched forward “ Remy? Darlin’? Come on kiddo, talk to me here…” He reached out to touch Remy’s tear stained face and Remy threw himself into Logan’s arms and sobbed “Don’ leave me! Don’ leave me! I’m so cold…”
“I’m not goin anywhere” Logan held him close and rubbed his back. After a few minutes Remy calmed down,. He just lay there against Logan’s chest, feeling his hands rubbing his back , feeling his lips kiss his hair. Holding on for dear life. “ I can’ do this no more…” he whispered “every time I close my eyes…” He looked up at Logan “ Cher…” new tears fell. Hank cleared his throat, “ Remy, I don’t like to do this but I’m going to give you something to stop the dreams.” Logan pulled away gently “ Come on darlin’, yer freezing.” He took Remy’s hand and pulled him slowly to his feet. Remy swayed a moment, then let Logan steer him to the bed and help him lay down. He made sure the blankets were pulled high up and ran his hand down Remy’s still shivering form. “ Go on Blue, I don’t care what he says.” Logan brushed back Remy’s hair, “ Don’t worry darlin’ I won’t leave you. I  promise.”
“ I’m so tired Cher.” Remy said quietly. Logan stepped back as Hank came forward
“ Remy, swallow these, they will help with the nightmares.” Remy nodded and swallowed the little white pills. “ I’m going back to the mansion. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need me.” he said to Logan as he made his way to the door. “ Thanks Blue, I owe ya.” As soon as the door shut Logan went to the bed and pushed back the covers “ Can I hold ya darlin?” Remy nodded and Logan laid down and wrapped his arms around Remy, reveling in the fact that he could. He snuggled up to him, pulling him close to his chest. “ This okay?”
“Oui. Don’ let me go, I’m afraid o’ bein alone. I’m sorry Logan, I don’ know what’s wrong with me.” He shifted in Logan’s arms and looked up from Logan’s chest. Logan rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. “ I don’t mind darlin’, I tol’ya before, I love you. I’ll do anything to help. And yer feelin this way cause the people you thought were FRIENDS turned on you like a pack of dogs. Yer so called GIRLFRIEND left ya alone and freezing and didn’t blink twice. He kissed Remy’s hair tenderly “ If ya need to be held, I’ll hold you. If ya need to cry, I’ll wipe the tears away. If ya need to scream and beat on somebody… I’ll call Hank.” Remy chuckled, “ Thank you Cher. Feel like I’m goin crazy. Keep rememberin stuff, feels like nightmares but I KNOW it’s all real.” He snuggled closer to Logan. “ Feel safe with you.”
“ You ARE safe with me, you always will be. You know that home you been looking for? Well you found it and it’s made of adamantium.” He hugged the young man tighter. They were quiet for a while, just listening to each other breathe. “ Darlin, can you tell me about the last dream?” Remy tensed in the circle of his arms “ Do I have too?” he whispered. “ I think you’ll feel better if ya do.” Logan was running his fingers through Remy’s hair. He loved the feel of it, it was so soft and cool, and touching Remy was quickly becoming an addiction. “ Was on the ice” Remy said softly “ She didn’t just leave me…she flew up and dropped me” he shivered. “Didn’ even have a shirt on…the ice was so cold it burned…my eyes, they hurt so bad…all that white…was like I was blind…But I could see her face…her eyes were as cold as the ice. Then the Blackbird just flew away…nobody looked back.” Logan felt the tears on his chest, the shivers that were running through Remy’s body again. He fought back his own tears “ Oh darlin…” There were no magic words, how was he supposed to make this okay? “ Could you hold me like this all night?” Remy  whispered against Logan’s chest. “ Darlin, I’m gonna hold ya like this forever.” Logan let his own tears fall into the auburn silk under his chin. Maybe they would help, maybe they would find a way inside Remy’s heart, take away some of the cold and pain.
 

Three more days passed and the nightmares were unrelenting. Hank sat on the edge of the bed listened to Remy’s heart and lungs. “ Well, the antibiotics are working Remy, but I wish you were getting more rest.” Logan paced behind him, he was showing signs of exhaustion himself.  “What do we do Hank? We can’t keep feedin him drugs.” Hank looked between the men “ No, that is not an option. Remy, would you consider letting the Professor or Jean …” “NON! Please Cher, hurts when they go in my head.” Logan sighed wearily, “Sorry Blue, no way. We’ll have to come up with something else.” He sat down beside Remy and took his hand. Hank stood and gathered his stethoscope and thermometer. He dug in his bag and removed a bottle of pills, “this is the last time we’re using these. Please reconsider my suggestion Remy, both you and Logan are on the verge of collapse. I’ll have to insist you come back to the Lab if you don’t get some rest by this weekend.” He left the two men alone. “Kiddo, we gotta do something.” He lifted their joined hands and kissed them. “ I can’t help ya darlin. I don’t know what to say or do to make this stop.” Remy looked up at him and said quietly “ I think I have an idea but…”
“ But what kid, I’ll try anything you want.” He stared into his favorite pair of eyes and waited for Remy to continue. “Would you… could you…you don’t have to but maybe…”  “ What are you trying to say.” Logan asked gently. “ Would you touch me? Would you…I’m afraid. Maybe if you touch me…” Logan looked out the small window and sighed before looking back into Remy’s pleading eyes. He saw the desire to do this, to move on , but he couldn’t ignore the fear that was very clearly evident. “ I don’t know darlin, if I hurt you it’d kill me.” Remy sat up and looked deeply into his eyes “ You love me, oui?” It was both a question to Logan and a statement to convince himself.  “ Oh, yeah.” Logan kissed him then, not a demanding kiss, but one full of want and need and longing. Remy smiled as Logan slowly pulled away, “ Oui, you do.” He caressed Logan’s cheek, “ Help me Cher. Show me.” “ After you take your meds and get some sleep. I want you to take the pills that keep the dreams away too, okay?” He raised an eyebrow and stared at Remy. “ I know you haven’t been swallowing them.”  “ Don’ like needin pills to sleep.” but this time, along with the antibiotics he swallowed the little white pills. “ For you Cher.” He lay down and got comfortable, “ hold me?”  Logan smiled and slid into his favorite spot. He snuggled up in front of his thief and pulled him close “ I guess I could use a nap.”  “ Merci for puttin up with me.”  “ Anytime kiddo, anytime.”

Hours later Logan woke up . The scent of Remy made him smile. He nuzzled the soft hair and took a deep breath, thinking about the younger mans request. Would touching Remy replace the fear and pain? Could he make new dreams for his lover? With infinite care he began. Soft kisses, gentle strokes, everything he did, he did with tenderness and love. He would wake Remy slowly with gentle touches then he would love him like he’d wanted to for so long.  Remy moaned quietly as Logan kissed a path from his ear down to his collarbone. He stayed there a while, kissing and biting, careful not to break the skin. Remy was breathing faster, saying things in his own unique hybrid of English and French. Logan kissed his way back up to a perfect ear and bit the lobe carefully then whispered,  “Darlin, I’m gonna touch you, alright?” He wouldn’t continue until he was sure Remy knew this was real, not another dream. “ Remy, I want to touch every inch of your body, make new memories.” Remy struggled to open his eyes “ Cher?” Logan caressed his cheek, pushed back the messy hair. “ Can I love you the way I’ve dreamed of loving you?” Remy was suddenly fully awake. He swallowed hard “ I’m scared Cher…” Logan continued playing with his hair “ I’ll tell you everything I’m going to do. No surprises. If you get scared just tell me, I’ll stop. Okay?” Remy’s eyes showed his dilemma, he wanted Logan to touch him but what if he remembered something bad?  “ No surprises?” “ Nope. You’re in control. I want us to make our own memories.” Logan waited patiently for Remy to make up his mind. “You’ll stop?”  “Right away.” Remy bit his lip then ran his fingers through Logan’s thick black hair. “ I…I don’ know…You’ll tell me what you’re doin?” Logan scooted down and kissed the side of his neck “ Everything I do. Right now I’m gonna work my way down your chest.” He said between kisses. He kept his hands lightly on Remy’s arms, not holding him down, just touching so he would be aware if Remy became uncomfortable. “ Now I’m gonna taste your nipples. That’s it, just relax. God, you’re perfect darlin. Better than my best dream.” He licked and kissed from one nipple to the other. “ Do you like this? Are you okay?” Remy’s eyes stayed open and try as he might he couldn’t relax. “ Could I sit up a bit, watch you?” Logan moved away “ Of course you can.” Remy sat up against the head board . “ Ready?” Logan asked. He would not mess this up. “ Ready. Merde Cher, I never wanted anybody to know this about me.” Logan stopped and looked up “ What?” “ That the cool, calm sure o’ himself Remy LeBeau is afraid to be intimate.”  Logan kissed his chest, “ don’t be afraid. It’s just me and I’ll NEVER hurt you.”  Remy tensed a bit at the touch “ I know that, but my mind’s telling me different.” He wanted so badly to do this for Logan. He’d been at the cabin for nearly a week and in all that time he wasn’t alone for a moment. He’d been pampered and taken care of, every need or desire met the moment it was spoken. “ I’m gonna keep kissing you darlin ‘cause I’ve been waiting so long for this I don’t think I can stop” Logan whispered. He was in heaven. His untouchable Angel was right there in his bed letting him touch and kiss at will. He tasted so good. Logan never wanted to stop. Remy watched as Logan moved lower. As promised, he told Remy every move he was going to make. But suddenly in Remy’s mind the gentle touches became something darker. Logan’s face was replaced by a dozen other faces. His soft words became sharp demands. Logan felt it before the panic attack hit. He felt the young thief tense and roll off the bed and crawl to the farthest corner. “ Non, non…don’ hurt me…I’ll do anything you want…make you feel so good…don’ hurt me.” tears ran down his face as he remembered things no human should have to endure.  Logan stayed where he was and cursed under his breath. Well, it was their first time and Remy had tolerated his touch for a while. He watched as reason returned to Remy’s mind, “ Oh Cher,” he sounded so sad, “ I knew I’d hurt you” He pulled up his knees and lay his head on them. “ You didn’t hurt me kiddo, I’m fine. No harm done. You can’t help the way you feel. I still love ya and someday when you’re ready I’ll prove it to ya.” He got down on the floor and pulled Remy into his arms.

Later that night, when he was sure Logan was asleep, Remy slipped out of bed, pulled on his clothes and collected his things. He looked around the cabin that had been his refuge one last time before making his way through the dark to the garage. Once he made his way past the security and camera’s he searched for the spare key to his bike. He would leave, then Logan would be free of him. He was nothing but a no good thief and whore. As he started to tie down his duffle the garage door opened and Bobby drove in. “ Well look who’s back.” he said “ Do you have ANY idea how much trouble I got into for trying to help you out of our lives!” He walked up and shoved Remy as he stood beside his bike.
 “ I’m goin Bobby… won’ be botherin anybody anymore.” He moved to get on his bike and Bobby shoved him again. “ Look Bobby,” he took a deep breath “ I don’ have the time or energy to do this. Jus’ let me go.” Bobby shoved him against the wall “ Oh yeah, you were shackin with Logan…He sick of ya too?” Remy’d had it by then and shoved him back “ LEMME GO!”  Bobby swung and connected with Remy’s chin, they both went down, Bobby on top of him holding him down screaming in his face “ You’re a no good traitor and nobody wants you here!” Remy wasn’t fighting back, he was seeing countless other faces of nameless men who’d had him in the same position. Remy shoved Bobby off  and stumbled to his feet. “ NON…NON, NEVER AGAIN!”  Remy’s hand started glowing as Logan came running from the opposite direction. He saw Remy reaching for a shelving unit “ NO! REMY!” The shelves came to life with his touch and exploded.
 “ REMY! REMY! What the FUCK did you do Drake!”  Logan ran to the corner where Remy had been standing and waved his arms to clear the dust. “ Remy!” Just then, Hank, Scott, Jean, and Storm entered from the direction of the kitchen. “ What happened! we heard…”
“ Hank, It’s Remy!” Logan called as he tried to lift what was left of the searing metal from his lover. “ Bobby, Ice it!” Scott called. When he made no move to help Storm stepped up “ Allow me.” and the hot metal flew safely away. Hank was there in a second moving Logan aside so he could see. “ Let me get him downstairs, Bobby, follow me. Jean, I may need you too.” Everyone else followed them down to the Lab.

“ He’s going to be fine. He’s got eight stitches over his left eye, there’s no sign of concussion but he’s going to have a nasty headache for awhile. He’s got a second degree burn across his left palm and he was pretty roughed up. All things considered he was very lucky I’d say. He could have been killed.  Hank turned and addressed Bobby “ Please explain to me why bad things always happen to that boy when you’re around?” Scott stepped forward “ I’d like to know the answer to that one too.”  “ Hank?…” Hank turned to him “ Of course Logan, perhaps you could stay with him while we have a little chat in the War Room.” Logan was already gone so he turned to the others “ I think I need to speak to you all. Please follow me.” Hank led the way to the war room and waited for everyone to be seated. “ What I’m about to tell you will probably cost me a friend, maybe two.” he started “ But I feel it is imperative that you understand what has been going on with our young Cajun friend. A week ago this all started when Robert and Warren took it upon themselves to destroy Remy’s room.” He looked sharply at Bobby before continuing, “ He had just been released from the lab. When he saw his room he collected what was left of his clothing and a cherished photo and left. Logan and I tracked him to an old graveyard where while in a delusional state , Remy admitted to being beaten and raped while he lived on the streets.” There was a sharp intake of breath from the group seated there. “ His condition had deteriorated to pneumonia and Logan and I both felt it would be better to let him recuperate at the cabin away from the stresses of the Mansion. Unfortunately, his fever induced confession somehow broke down whatever wall his young mind had created to protect himself from the painful memories. For the last week Remy has been bombarded by constant images of the men who hurt and raped him.” He heard sniffling and saw tears running down Storm’s face. Jean had her head buried in Scott’s shoulder. Bobby was stunned, staring straight ahead. “ So when I hit him…jumped him in the garage… I triggered…Oh shit.” He buried his face in his hands. “ Yes Robert, NOW do you understand? He was only seven years old and he trusted a friend” Scott sighed, “ No wonder he never told us anything. What do we do Hank? What’s his condition now?”  Hank glanced at Bobby, making sure he was listening “ He’s still dealing with the pneumonia, he’s going to have a killer headache for a while. He’s got numerous bumps, bruises, and burns from tonight’s little episode. His most serious injury is the burn on his hand, he held on to the metal. He’s also severely depressed.” Scott stood up and addressed the small group, “ Alright people, let’s keep this to ourselves. There’s no need to add to Gam..Remy’s problems now.” Everyone nodded. “ Bobby?” Bobby blinked out of his daze “ Yeah, sure…Guys, I didn’t know.” he said quietly. “ None of us did Bobby but now that we do we have to find a way to fix the problem.” Hank cleared his throat,
“ Scott, we can’t FIX the problem. These are his memories, he has to work through them, come to terms with them. If you’ll all excuse me, my FRIEND needs me. He will need all of you too.” Hank left for the Lab, Scott and Jean left and Storm went her own way leaving Bobby alone and thinking.

Logan carefully brushed long bangs away from the bandage over Remy’s left eye. His hand was bandaged and resting on his chest. “ Why kiddo, why’d ya run?” he felt guilty because he fell asleep and didn’t hear Remy leave, didn’t get to him in time. Remy took a deep breath and moaned, he started moving around on the bed as the memories started to surface once again. “ Hey darlin, hey…sh…it’s okay” “…poppa” Remy whispered. “ No darlin, it’s me. Open yer eyes.” Remy’s eyes opened a crack and his breath caught when he realized where he was. He moved to push himself up but Logan stopped him with a large hand to his chest. “ Stay still, ya just tried to blow yerself up.” Logan bent and kissed his brow, “ Where did ya think you were goin?”  Remy licked his dry lips and Logan held a glass up so he could drink some cool water from the straw. “ I can’ make it stop. The voices, the faces. Was tryin to leave but Bobby wouldn’ get out of the way. Kept telling me to go but wouldn’ let me past. I’m never gonna be okay, I already hurt you” a tear made it’s way down into his hair. “ I gotta get away.” he whispered and closed his eyes as another tear followed the first. Logan kissed his brow again, careful of the stitches “ You need to lay here and rest. You banged yerself up pretty good. And no more talk of leaving, ya hear me. We’re gonna get through this, I’M gonna help ya get through this.”  Another tear fell “ how?…how we gonna make it stop. Logan, I see them, I…FEEL them, I hear them.” he sobbed “ please Cher, make them go away…” he pleaded with his lover. Hank entered and saw Remy’s tear stained face “ Remy, are you in pain?” All he got as response was a shake of the young man’s head. Logan brushed  back his hair until his lover drifted back to sleep. He just watched him for a while then left the room to talk to Hank.
 “ Logan, I think it’s time to go over his head and get Jean involved” Logan turned sharply and stared at Hank, “ No. Listen Hank, all his life that kid’s had people he trusted turn their backs on him, or say one thing and do another. He’s afraid Hank He’s just a kid and he’s afraid. He trusts us Blue. Are we gonna do that to him too? Are we gonna go behind his back? Hurt him like every other damn person the poor kid’s tried to get close too.” Hank sighed, “ Of course not. I’ve got him on a mild sedative, it’s never caused him problems before and it will help ease the pain when I have to change the dressings on his hand. It should help him sleep without the dreams also. I’ll keep him here so we can watch him. The severity of his depression worries me.” Logan looked at the sleeping form behind him. “ Me too. Do you think he was trying to …kill …” Hank turned and looked at his patient too. “ Possibly. Nothing in the garage was damaged EXEPT the shelving he was holding. He obviously didn’t want to hurt you, Bobby, or the vehicles, and the depression and the dreams would be enough to push him over the edge.” Logan was staring at Remy the whole time Hank was speaking. “ Bobby also admitted he was taunting and shoving Remy before he charged the unit.” Logan’s eyes clouded and he slowly turned to look at Hank, “ Blue, I know you like him, but if he so much as blinks at the kid while he’s here  I will kill him, X-Man or not.”   “ I don’t think you’ll have a problem with Bobby.” Hank looked down at the floor “ I told them about the dreams, the abuse.” He looked at Logan with pleading eyes “ It was the only thing I could think of to make them understand!” Logan shook his head, “ it’s okay Blue, you did the right thing. Now everyone knows?” Hank shook his head, “ Not Warren, he’s at his apartment in town, and I don’t have a clue where Rogue is.” “ And they all worry about REMY bein a traitor.” Logan added.

Over the next week Hank kept Remy isolated in the Lab. The sedative he used was enough to keep Remy from dreaming and he finally started to heal. Logan was a constant in Remy’s drug hazed mind. For every remembered pain, Logan gave him gentle caresses. For every harsh word, he heard calm reassurances and slowly Remy’s mind opened up to the possibility that not every person he came in contact with was there with evil intent. Every time Hank needed to change the dressing on his hand Logan was right there offering support. Some time during the week, in his drugged state Remy wasn’t sure what day, Bobby meekly appeared begging forgiveness. He was juggling, unsuccessfully, a dozen framed pictures, copies of the ones he destroyed. Remy didn’t know what to make of the gesture, but Hank looked happier than he had in weeks. Logan took him aside and talked to him. The conversation ended with a handshake and Remy guessed that must be good . As soon as Hank was certain that Remy had rested enough and he was actually healing he released him under the condition that he stay at the Mansion in Logan’s care.
“Welcome home kiddo.” Logan said as he opened the door and Remy cautiously entered.
“ You sure you wanna be seen with me?” Remy asked. Logan laughed and hugged him
“ I’d  be parading you around town if I could.” He kissed Remy’s temple “ How’s the headache?” Remy hugged him back “ Not so bad.” “ How ‘bout the hand?” He looked at his bandaged left hand “ Be okay once I can use it. Have I tol’ you I’m sorry ‘bout that. I wasn’t thinking straight.” Logan tightened the embrace, “ I know. I’m really glad you’re feelin better darlin.” He took Remy’s good hand and led him to the bed. “ Oh Cher, please don’ tell me to lay down.” Logan chuckled “No, I was gonna suggest sittin down.” Once they were seated Logan laced his fingers with his lovers. “Does my touchin you bother ya?” “No” Remy said “ It feels nice when you touch me.” “ How ‘bout when I kiss ya?” Remy blushed “Like that too. Makes me feel…” Logan looked into his eyes “ What?”
“ Makes me feel special.” He said in a whisper. Logan smiled up at him “ You ARE special. and I’m gonna make you believe it.” Remy smiled again and right at that  moment Logan decided that he never wanted that smile to leave his beautiful face.

Remy was cold. He couldn’t open his eyes even if he wanted to risk certain blindness from the ocean of frozen white in front of him. His lashes were frozen to his skin. He’d lost all feeling in his toes and fingers long ago. When Rogue flew away he was in shock but not scared. Then the Blackbird disappeared from view, still he wasn’t frightened. They’d come back as soon as they noticed he wasn’t there. That’s what the X-Men were all about, second chances and forgiveness. But they didn’t. Then he was scared. Then he called out for help. It never came.

Logan watched as Remy sat up in bed with a cry. Tears were running in rivers down his face. He was breathing fast and looking around wildly, as if he was confused about being in a warm bed with warm blankets. Logan was about to say something when Remy’s eyes grew huge and he bolted to the bathroom, making it just in time to empty his stomach. Logan knelt behind him, holding back his hair, rubbing his back, anything he could think of to comfort him. When Remy was through he was wasted, he didn’t have the strength to stand so he just shifted sideways and leaned against the wall. His head was back, his eyes closed, breathing fast. Logan got a warm washcloth and gently wiped his face and neck. Remy’s eyes opened and a single tear tracked down his face. Logan carefully pulled him into a hug there on the floor and silently rocked him like a child.

                          MONTHS LATER
 
“ Cher, why you bein so secretive ‘bout tonight?”  Logan smiled “ What do ya mean Rem?” He knew Remy had the curiosity of a small child and all the planning for the evening was driving him nuts. Over the last few weeks the nightmares had stopped and flashes of the old Remy were shining through. He was starting to smile more and even joining in conversations. Storm regularly took him out to lunch and surprising as it seemed Bobby was going out of his way to be nice to the young Cajun.  Logan was wary, expecting the worst, but even he relaxed after a time when Bobby was around. “ Come on Cher, you know this is killin me!” Remy pretended to pout. “ Ya only have to wait a little longer” the older man teased. “ You look so cute when you pout.” He pulled Remy close for a quick kiss then playfully pushed him toward the closet. “ Get ready. You’re due in the danger room in ten and I have some last minute PLANS for tonight. “ CHER!” Remy whined but Logan was halfway down the hall, laughing the whole way.

“ Come on Stormy, you have to know what he’s planning.” Storm smiled over her shoulder at her best friend “ MAYBE if you had not called me Stormy…” He quickly covered his heart “ Never again! I Promise!” She laughed and patted his cheek. “ Soon brother, aren’t you meeting him at 6:00?”   Remy beamed “ Oui, he’s takin me out.”
Ororo pulled him into a hug “ It is so good to see you smiling again” she whispered into his ear. She let him out of the embrace and tried to finger comb his hair. “ You should go get ready.” She leaned in and kissed him “ Have a wonderful time brother.” Remy took the steps two at a time up to the room he shared with Logan. When he got there he found a note on the door:

Put on the clothes on the bed and meet me in the garage. L

He entered the room and took a long hot shower. After he dresses he looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled “ Not bad Remy”. The Dark red silk shirt was Logan’s favorite. It fit his frame perfectly. Together with the tight black jeans and his dress boots he had to admit he was looking good. He smiled to himself again. It had been forever since he could look in a mirror and “SEE” himself. For the past few months all he saw was the small boy he used to be. The battered, abused, street rat that Jean Luc saved just in time. Logan changed all that. Logan. He checked the time then checked himself once again and made his way to the garage.

 “Dinner was great Cher, Thanks.” Remy said as he wrapped an arm around Logan’s waist. “ No problem Rem, but that was just the start.” He opened the door and waited until Remy entered to shut and lock the door. “ Do you know what today is?” Remy thought a moment, “Non, should I?” Logan took his hand “ Five years ago today you came here with Storm.” “ Really? You remember the day?” Logan smiled “ Course I do, my whole life changed that day.” Remy blushed, in their five months together, Remy discovered a whole new side of Logan. He was a rock. Gentle and kind and eternally patient with Remy. Logan never tried to touch Remy again after the first time led to flash backs. He would hold him and kiss him but nothing more, even if Remy begged. He told Remy that when the time was right and his mind and body had healed enough from the trauma, they would know. Remy and Logan moved to the bed and sat down. “ Darlin, you know I love you, right?” Logan was looking down at his lap. “ Oui Cher, how could I not.” Logan stood and paced in front of the bed. “ I’ve been dreamin and planning this night for five years and now that it’s here I’m a nervous wreck.” Remy was lost “ Cher?” Logan wasn’t making any sense. He sat down again, “ Do you know why I love you?” That question caught Remy by surprise. He cocked his head and looked at Logan through long bangs. “ Non Cher, never quite figured that one out.” He said quietly. Logan turned on the bed, pulling one leg up so he could look directly at the young Cajun. “I love you because you’re good and strong and fearless. I love you because you’re smart and charming and damn funny. The fact that you’re the most beautiful thing these old eyes can ever remember seeing don’t hurt none.” Remy blushed, but he was smiling. “ but the most important reason is because of the man I become when you look at me. I’m stronger and smarter and better because of you. I feel happy and peaceful and complete. You gave me back something I lost a long time ago. You gave me back my heart and soul. You gave me back my humanity.” Remy just stared into his clear blue eyes. He searched inside himself and found the same peace and happiness and completion. He felt his heart beat madly with the thought of the older man. He felt his soul, calm and quiet for the first time in as long as he could remember. “ This is it, isn’t it? This is what it’s supposed to feel like.” There was a child like look of awe on his beautiful face as he realized that THIS was the time. THIS was the moment. He had finally found true love. Logan leaned in and tenderly kissed his young thief. Blinking back tears of joy he pulled him into an unbreakable embrace. He finally had his Angel. He started to talk to tell Remy what he was going to do but Remy stopped him with a soul searing kiss. “ Don’ talk. Just show me.” he whispered.

Time stood still as Logan heard the soft moans and sighs. As he saw Remy’s eyes flutter shut. As he felt tense muscles relax at his touch. As he tasted salty sweat on silky skin. As he smelt tears of relief as Remy opened his mind and heart and soul and allowed himself to be loved. “ Are you ready?” Logan whispered into a perfect ear. Remy didn’t say a word, just spread his long legs on either side of the older man. Logan knelt there and slowly unbuttoned the red silk shirt until it was spread open like Angel wings. He watched Remy’s face as he opened the belt then the button and finally the zipper of the tight black jeans. Remy didn’t flinch, just smiled as Logan pulled down the jeans, leaving only silky boxers between him and his ultimate reward. “ Logan?…” Remy whispered and the older man immediately pulled away from the hot, soft skin of his prize. He looked up at the face he adored expecting to see fear but all he found was a serene smile and sparkling eyes.
 “ Was just gonna ask if I could do the same to you.” Logan lay his head on Remy’s chest over his heart. “ Been waitin five years to hear you ask.”

Logan lay in his bed and smiled at the world in general. Last night had turned into, without a doubt, the best night of his life. Remy was everything he dreamed and more. The kid was insatiable, after so many years of fear and pain the kid soaked up the love like a sponge. He gave back as much as he took and by god, his touch was magic. He’d never felt anything that could compare. He knew there would be times when he’d have to prove his love . The young man was far from fully healed emotionally, but from this day on he would gladly prove it. He gently kissed his sleeping Angel and looked forward to the rest of his life.

TBC
Notes: There is another chapter. It was an idea that wouldn’t go away but I didn’t know where to go with it so I made it a chapter of Leap. J