Logan found himself pacing in the same-hated hallway for the second straight night. He should have known, should have smelled that something wasn’t right. Remy passed out and fell the whole way down the wide flight of stairs at the main entrance of the mansion. Bobby found him in a crumpled heap at the bottom when he came in for dinner. That was forty-five minutes ago. “ Damn him.” Logan grumbled. No one else was in the hall right now, he was close to losing it from worry and the others knew when to give him space. Hank finally exited the lab and motioned him over. “ He’s okay Logan, he’s got bumps and bruises but nothing is broken.” Logan closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. He looked up at his friend “ Is he awake, can I talk to him?” Hank looked closely and saw the buried anger waiting to be unleashed on the young Cajun. “ Don’t be mad at him Logan. He’s little more than a boy and he knows what he did was stupid.” Logan growled and spun away to pace some more. “ Yeah? Does he know how fuckin’ scared I was when I saw him? Does he know how scared I still am that I’m gonna lose him? He coulda fuckin killed himself pullin that stunt!” Hank stopped his pacing with a hand to his shoulder.
“ He’s scared Logan, he doesn’t know what’s happening. He thought if he ignored it, it would fix it’s self or go away.” Logan growled again. “ He was on his way to find me.” Hank added hoping to take the edge off of Logan’s anger. “ He told me he’s not leaving the lab until I find out what’s wrong and fix it.” Logan’s anger faded and was replaced by fear and concern. He looked at Hank, “How? You’ve run every test three times! What else can you do?” Hank led him to a seat and sat down hoping he would take the hint and join him. “ I’ve asked Jean to try to scan him. She’s in with him now. Usually she can get through his shields when he’s not feeling well. I’m hoping she can find something my medical tests cannot.” Logan started tapping his foot nervously. “ How long do ya think this’ll take? I hate waitin out here. I hate not knowin what’s wrong.” He looked at the floor and started talking again. He hated baring his soul but this was killing him. Three months ago everything was perfect, he was even going to commit to Remy. That was something he never in a million years thought he’d want to do. The kid was so special though. He opened his eyes to things he never dreamed he’d see or feel. He HAD to be okay. “ I can’t lose him Hank.” Henry put an arm around his shoulder and waited for him to turn and look at him. “ You WON’T lose him. We will figure this out and then I hope to be invited to a certain Ceremony. I’ve watched that boy go from an uncertain child to a strong caring man because of you. I don’t know what happened to him before his arrival here but whatever it was he trusted you enough to help him through it. He’s not going anywhere because you simply won’t let him.” Logan ’s eyes told Hank everything he couldn’t find the words to say and the large blue doctor smiled and stood.
“ I’ll go get us some coffee.”

When Jean came out of the lab both men instantly rose. There was something seriously wrong, Jean looked pale and she held her head as if it was pounding. She looked at them as if she were in a trance. “ I never suspected.” was all she said as Hank led her to a seat and sat her down. “ Jean, my dear, are you all right?” She seemed to snap out of her confusion and looked both men in the eye. “ I never suspected,” she repeated as she sipped the water Logan handed her. “ His mind is so complex, it has so many layers.” Hank was beginning to worry she was making no sense. “ Who?” She looked at him,
“ Remy. I always assumed I couldn’t read him because of his kinetic power. That wasn’t it at all. Hank, this is all MY fault.” Hank took her hand “ Jean, what are you talking about?”  Her gaze shifted between Hank and Logan “ I have to release Stephen.” she said quietly. Logan grabbed her shoulders, “ Jeannie, start at the beginning woman!” All anger was instantly forgotten. How could she even consider exposing Remy to that? Why would she want Remy to relive that torture? “ He’s been working on the box subconsciously, trying to figure out what it is. It’s like an infection; he’s been attacking it without even realizing it. He shouldn’t have been able to sense it there, a normal mind wouldn’t have.” Hank nodded as if just catching on to what she was saying. “ The headaches? The blackouts?” She nodded “ Yes! And he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.”  She looked at Logan and he lost it. “ Damn it! Would ya speak English here!” He felt left out of the conversation. Everybody else understood what was going on but him. “Remy must have another power, a mental one. He would never have found the box otherwise.” Logan stood and stared down at her. “ How can that be? We only get one power, there are only a hand full of mutant’s with more.” Jean stood and took his hand. “ All I know for sure right now is that I have to open that box.” Logan looked at Hank and then back to her. “ What will happen to him? You said he was being torn apart, going insane. That’s why you made the damn thing in the first place!” “ He’s got to remember,” she said. Logan turned and punched the wall. “ He can’t remember! You don’t understand… it’ll kill him to remember! Can’t ya just erase it, make it disappear?”  Jean and Hank watched as he begged, there was so much more going on than they knew about. “ Logan, I can’t make it disappear. He’s already found it. What aren’t you saying? What don’t we know?” He started pacing again. If he told them Remy would be shattered and probably hate him forever. If he didn’t it looked as if Remy would kill himself trying to figure out the box in his mind. He looked from Jean to Hank then said quietly “ Come with me.” He led them to Hank’s office and closed the door. “ What I say now never leaves this room.” Hank and Jean looked at each other then both nodded. Logan looked down at the floor trying to figure out how to start. “ He had to eat. He was alone. He had no one.” he started and both Jean and Hank felt a cold hand grip their insides. “He was only six or seven the first time, he didn’t even understand what was happening.” Logan whispered, as if maybe Remy would forgive him if he said it quietly.
“ Didn’t understand what? What are you saying Logan?” Hank knew, but he couldn’t make himself believe the words. A tear left Jean’s eye. “ He was abandoned Hank.” Logan spit. “ Left on a street corner ON PURPOSE.” Logan was quiet again. “ He was no more than three or four years old. The others looked out for him at first but by the time he was five he had a basic understanding of what he was expected to do so the help stopped.” Hank’s throat was dry “ What about his father?” Logan sat down and looked at the doctor “ LeBeau didn’t get him off the street until he was ten.” Hank blinked dumbly. “ All that time he…” Logan nodded; he didn’t want to talk about this anymore.
 “ That’s why he can’t remember. He’s so ashamed Hank. He has horrible nightmares, if he realizes he was doing that again… it’ll kill him.” Jean took his hand. “ Come with me.” she said quietly. She led him to the room where Remy now lay. Even with a sedative and painkillers he thrashed weakly on the bed. “ He’s never going to stop.” She whispered.
 “ He’ll keep this up until he gets in that box.” She looked from Remy to Logan. This was the first chance he had to see his young lover since his fall down the stairs. He had a particularly nasty bruise on his shoulder and above his right eye. A blanket covered the rest if there were anymore. It was the pain that showed so clearly on his face that made Wolverine flinch though. “ He won’t be able to get in Logan. He’ll kill himself trying.” Hank left and came back with a bag of fluid. He started an IV and injected a needle into its port. “ This is a stronger painkiller, let’s see if it helps.” Jean hated to be the heavy but they didn’t seem to understand what she was telling them. “ Are you listening to me? You can’t FIX this! It will only help for a while before he starts again.” Sure enough after a few peaceful minutes the struggling began again. “ The headaches will get worse and worse, you’ll need to give him more and more. Soon he’ll just be here like this, eventually he will think to use his powers and then he will be lost forever. His body will still live but everything that makes him Remy will be destroyed in the blast. I’ve GOT to open the box!” Logan sat carefully on the edge of the bed. “ What will happen, what will you do?” His eyes never left Remy.
“ I’ll go into his mind let him know what I did and open the box. I’ll stay with him, shield him as best I can. I only hope he let’s me.” Logan looked at her “ Why, what will happen if you don’t?” Jean touched Remy’s forehead with motherly concern. “He will be alone with them, totally at their mercy. When I open it there will be a few nasty minutes, he may panic and throw me out.” Logan looked back at the young Cajun as he struggled with invisible demons. “ Do it.” he said and got up from the bed.  He wanted to claw something, slash it to pieces. Something was hurting Remy and it was totally out of his power to help him. The loss of control was driving him mad. “ Can I be alone with him a minute before you start?” Hank and Jean left them alone and Logan took hold of Remy’s hand. “ Sorry I was mad at ya, I know you were just scared, I am too. You’re gonna remember stuff I hoped you’d never have to remember. Don’t be afraid, I’ll be right here. I’ll never let you face anything bad alone.” He bent and kissed the boy with all the love he felt for him. “ I have a real important question to ask ya so you come back to me ya hear? You come back to me.” Jean came in and sat in the chair Logan had vacated. She looked at him  “ This is the only way.” She closed her eyes and went looking for Remy.

Jean slipped easily into the usually impossible mind, a sure sign that things were bad. She found him standing by the box in his mind leaning heavily and concentrating hard. He spun around when he sensed her but quickly turned back to the box. “ Can’ talk to y’ now chere, gotta find out what’s in dis box.” He stopped suddenly and turned to her with a huge smile “ I’ll blow it!” His hands started to glow and she reached out quickly and grabbed him. “ NO! No, don’t do that. I’ll open it for you, I made it.” He looked at her confused “ You made it? Why… look at it!” She looked closely at the box for the first time and gasped. It looked painful; it was glowing red and pulsing with his heartbeat. The information inside was like acid, eating and burning everything around it. It looked like a festering wound. It was no wonder he had been in so much pain. Jean took his hand and looked up into his eyes. “ I need you to listen to me. When I open this, a storm will erupt in your mind. You have to let me stay and help you. Don’t let go of my hand, don’t throw me out.” Remy looked at her. She sounded so serious. The box pulsed harder and a wave of pain washed over them. “ Oui, I not let go. You get rid of it now? It hurts Jeannie.” Jean nodded and closed her eyes and with a thought the box exploded into a million sharp, hot pieces.

Remy’s body tensed and he took in a sharp breath. Logan stood and watched in horror as the lean body of his lover shook with convulsions and blood ran freely from his nose.
“ Hank! What the fuck did she do?” Hank stood frozen a second then placed his large hands on the shaking body to hold it still after he shoved a towel between Remy’s teeth so he wouldn‘t bite his tongue. Jean was sitting with her head resting on the bed beside Remy. She looked sound asleep. Remy took in a long ragged breath and Logan popped his claws ready to stop her from hurting the boy further. The young man’s breathing seemed to ease a bit after a few minutes and Logan’s claws returned to their place under his skin.
“ She better know what the hell she’s doin,” he growled.

“ Jeannie! Help me! I can’ breathe!” Remy stood lost in the storm. Pieces of the box cut and stabbed him but there was nowhere to go to escape it. There was nowhere to run and hide until the storm passed. Distorted faces grew in front of him, cruel dark faces that scared him to his very soul. He remembered the hitchhiker, being shot and left for dead. The faces changed, grew, “ …Call you Stephen.” He remembered those first pain filled days with Oscar. Remembered the way he used a knife out of a drawer to dig out the bullet lodged in the bone of his leg. He remembered David’s hands touching, pulling at him. He remembered foul smells and cocks shoved in his mouth, in his ass. He remembered Carl. He remembered PAIN, Beating, Biting, Tearing, Searing, all encompassing PAIN. He fell to his knees and sobbed alone in the storm in his mind.

Jean’s brow creased but her eyes remained closed. She lost him; he panicked and let go of her hand. She searched the wreckage that used to be the box in his mind but she couldn’t see him!  Suddenly she felt like she was flying “ No!” He was throwing her out in his terrified state.

Jean blinked and sat up. “I lost him.” She looked at Logan and a tear left her eye. Logan looked wide-eyed at her. “You have to go back! You have to help him!” She shook her head, “I can’t. He’s on his own now.”  He looked down at the young man on the bed fighting the silent battle. “ You don’t understand… he can’t beat them. He’ll be too afraid.” He looked at his teammates, “ They’ll have too much power. He’s never gotten over the trauma from when he was little.” Logan turned from them to his lover. “ Remy?”
 

Remy looked up into his worst nightmares come true. “ Stephen suck me.” “ Yeah, you’re so tight Stephen” “ Blood makes everything slide so nice Stephen.” “ You’re such a pretty whore Stephen.” He held his head “ Who am I? “ He sobbed again “ Help me! I don’ know who I am!”

Logan couldn’t stand to watch as Remy fought his nightmares alone. He grabbed Jean and moved her out of the way then climbed into the bed beside his lover and held him close. If he couldn’t be there to help him he would at least be close so his lover could lean on him. Feel his strength; borrow it if he needed to. He whispered into Remy’s ear “ I’m here Darlin, right here. You’re NOT alone. Remy, please listen to my voice. You are Remy LeBeau. Gambit. You’re an X-Man. You can beat ’em now Darlin. You’re not a little boy anymore. You have to beat ’em. I’m here and Blue’s here and Jeannie too. Hang on Remy, please Hang on.”

 Remy heard a soft voice under the noise of the storm and voices that surrounded him. He stopped listening to the noise, ignored the pain and fear that held him captive and concentrated on that one quiet voice. “ You are Remy LeBeau. Gambit… You’re not alone Darlin, you’re not alone.”  He swallowed hard “ Remy. I’m Remy.” It was all clear all of a sudden. He pushed himself to his feet and screamed out in his mind. “ I’m Remy LeBeau! Gambit! Logan’s lover! I’m not Stephen!” The storm began to fade. “ I’m Remy. Logan loves me! I ain’ a whore no more!” The storm faded more. “ You can’ hurt me if I don’ let you! Go ’way!” Then in a blinding flash of heat and light he was alone.

Jean hung on Hank’s arm as they stood and watched Remy fight his silent battle. She leaned into his huge body “ I did this. This is all MY fault. Charles told me never to do what I did. I should have listened.” Hank felt so useless as he stared at the men. Logan was holding his lover so tight; Remy was still struggling, fighting an invisible foe. “ I believe you did what you thought best for a friend.” He said quietly, “ You had no way of knowing it would lead to this.”  Suddenly Jean’s eyes grew and she rushed to the bed. She placed a shaking hand to Remy’s forehead. A moment later she touched his temples. “It’s over.”  Logan released his death grip on his lover and sat up. In the quietest voice he asked, “Is he…” She looked into his pleading eyes and wiped a stray tear from his face before she whispered back, “His mind is still. Quiet. He’s going to be okay.” She pulled Logan into a hug and cried against his shoulder. “ I’m so sorry Logan, I’m SO sorry. I didn’t know I would hurt him.” He held her a moment then pushed her gently back. “ It’s okay Jeannie, you didn’t know.” He looked down at his lover then looked deeply into her eyes. “But don’t you EVER go into his head again.” She startled at the threat in his voice, “I promise Logan,” with a shaking hand she wiped the tears from her own face. “ I’ll never do anything like that again.”

Hank cleared his throat; “ I want you both out of here until I examine my patient.” Now that the danger had passed Hank took charge of his lab once again. “ But Hank…” Logan protested as he was slowly pushed out the door. “ I want to clean him up, move him to a different bed. You can come back the moment I’m through.” The door shut and Logan watched as Hank gently removed the IV and lifted the young Cajun to a new bed. He watched as Hank carefully washed the blood from his face and hair. He watched as the large blue doctor spoke quietly to his lover as he checked heart and lungs and reflexes. Finally he watched as Hank turned to the door and smiled as he waved him back in. “ He seems perfectly fine. You can come in too Jean.” She stood in the doorway chewing her lip. Slowly she entered and walked up to the bed. “ This could have been such a tragic disaster.”  All eyes turned to the bed as Remy’s eyes flew open and he weakly screamed
 “ NO!” Logan grabbed his hand and held it tight. “It’s alright Darlin, It’s over.” Remy blinked up at him, “ ’m Remy” he closed his eyes and swallowed hard “ M’ name’s Remy.” Logan bent and kissed him softly. “ Yeah Darlin, that’s right.”  A tear left the Cajun’s eye. He felt shame, fear, pain and regret and they all showed in his eyes; were palpable in the air. Hank moved closer and said quietly “ I think the young man needs a few moments alone now. Remy, I’m going to get everyone out of here for a while, would you like that?” Another tear left his eye as he turned away from them. Logan’s eyes grew and he bent to speak softly to his young lover, “ Even me?” Remy shivered and pulled his knees up close to his body.
“ Please Logan?” He looked at Hank who nodded “ Come Logan, I need to speak to you.” Logan slowly stood; he looked at his young lover curled in a ball with the occasional tear flowing down his cheek. “ All Right. I’ll be back in a little while.” Remy flinched when Logan bent to kiss him and Logan looked shocked at Hank. Hank dimmed the lights and led everyone out of the room. As they left the lab to talk Scott exited the elevator.
 “ Jean?” He rushed to his wife and pulled her close. “ Are you all right? I was driving into town and I had to pull over because the link…are you hurt? Why are you in the lab?” He was shaking, he was driving and suddenly he sensed Jean, she was so upset by something. Jean pulled away from him slowly hating to give up the comfort of his arms. “ You need to come with us. We need to talk.”
 

Hank poured himself a cup of coffee and waited for the questions to start flying. “ What was that back there?” Logan asked “What’s wrong with him?” Scott sat down and raised a hand. “ Wait, wait, wait. I want to know from the beginning. Somebody fill me in.” Jean took his hand. “ I’ll start.” She looked at Scott with guilty eyes, “ Remember when you and the Professor were gone and I went into Remy’s mind?” Scott nodded and she continued. “ It turned out that Remy must have another power-” Scott stood, “WHAT?” Jean pulled him back down into his seat. “ Please listen. He subconsciously found the box.” Hank jumped in “ That’s what all the headaches and blackouts were.” Jean continued, “ He was killing himself, I had to go back in and open it.” Her voice was tiny and she glanced over at Logan who looked ready to gut someone. “ Now he’s in there, won’t talk to anyone, won’t even LOOK at ME!” Logan shouted. Hank sighed, “ He needs time Logan. Think about what you told us. Think about what he just remembered!” Logan spun and pointed at Jean needing to blame someone for the utterly desolate feelings that poured off his young lover when he froze. There were FEELINGS pouring from the boy. “ Jeannie?” He said a lot quieter than anybody expected, “ I FELT him. I knew how bad he felt.” Her eyes grew and she lifted a hand to her mouth. “ Oh my Lord. He’s an empath!” Hank and Scott looked on confused. “ Hank, has he ever been tested for that?” Hank shook his head. “ There was no need. It would explain a lot of things though. His shields for one; he always seemed to know things too; like when to be a pest.” Hank smiled. “ He let’s us vent on him! That little devil. He never could stand to see us fight among ourselves.” His smile faded suddenly and he looked up at his friends, “Antarctica.” Logan sat down hard. “Oh fuck.” Jean’s sharp intake of breath was exactly how the others felt. “Why did he hide it?” Scott asked. “Does he even know about it is a better question.” Hank said. “ He always talked about his *charm*. He may not recognize it as a power.” Jean sat again. “ His shields are complex but very basic. He probably erected them subconsciously too. He knew he needed them but never truly understood why. That makes sense!” Scott looked between his teammates. “ Is this going to change anything? Will he need stronger shields now that we know it’s actually a power?” Hank shook his head and looked to Jean for confirmation, “ I don’t think he will need to do anything, we on the other hand, may need to be more considerate.” Logan paced, “ I can’t stand this. Okay, now we know that he’s an empath. It’s not helping the boy lying’ in that room! Hank, I gotta be in there. He’s gotta know everything’s still okay!” Hank walked to the door. “I guess you’re right. Go sit with him. If he’s sleeping do not disturb him. He’s been through enough and I want him to get rest. Please try to remember the Empathy and stay calm.”  Logan shot past him back to Remy’s room and Hank smiled at Scott and Jean, “ I have a feeling Remy is about to experience a level of emotion he’s never felt before.”