Logan jerked awake, sitting up almost instantly. His breath caught as
he remembered his dream and it slowly sank into his mind forming a
complete memory.
"Oh Shit" is all he could manage to get out. What was he going to do
now? How was he going to tell Jean? How was he going to face Remy? It
was the same Remy right? He started to weigh the evidence in his
head. "Same eyes, age is about right, city is the same, Cajun always
said he was adopted so that pans out. Shit it was him, had to be" he
concluded. Logan's head was swimming, he didn't know what to do.
Suddenly a knock woke him from thought.

"Logan" came the soft voice from the other side.

"Yea Jeannie. It's open." he scowled. He didn't need this now, he
wanted to be alone, he needed to think.

Jean opened the door and walked in closing if softly behind her and
leaned against it.

"What do ya want Red?" he almost growled.

"I take it you remembered a lot last night." as she pointed to the
clock "Thought you might want to talk about it."

Logan glanced at the clock "Shit! I slept for 14 hours!"

"I noticed you weren't at breakfast or lunch, when you didn't show
for dinner I became worried so I came up to check on you." She slowly
made her way to the corner of the bed and sat down and
continued "Would you like to talk about it? It is between me and you
I promise."

"Yea..No..I don't know Jean, I am just so damn confused right now"
the last murmured from his head in his hands. He truly did not know
what to do.

"Tell me Logan, I won't judge you" she said softly has she pulled his
hands down from his face and caught his eyes. "Whatever you did, we
will deal with it."

That comment caught him "What did I do?" he accidentally said aloud.

"Logan?" Jean was beginning to worry "Please Logan tell me what is
going on. What did you do?"

"That's the problem Jeannie, I don't know what I did" he looked up at
her with pleading eyes as if she held all the answers. "I remembered
a trip to New Orleans, I met up with a scared street kid, he was" he
stuttered on the words "hurt, the kid was hurt. I took him to my
hotel, got him some food and got him cleaned up. I remember saying to
myself that I was gonna call my contacts and see about keeping the
kid with me, but obviously I didn't, he ended up back on the streets,
he couldn't have been more then 7. He was a mutant." his mind was
going a mile a minute, and it was all hitting him at once. "What if
I hurt him? Did I dump him back on the streets? Could I have been
that cruel?" Logan suddenly came down from his panic filled ranting
and looked at a worried Jean straight in the eyes and asked "Why
didn't he tell me?"

Jean was instantly saddened by the look in Logan's eyes, she had
never seen him like this before. It was as if someone had ripped out
his heart. She wanted badly to answer him, but his ranting did
nothing but confuse her. "Logan I don't understand, who didn't tell
you what?" she plead for an answer.

"Remy. Jean, the street kid was Remy." he dropped his head back into
his hands not knowing what else to say.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. Its all she could think to say for several
minutes, finally "Remy never said anything about knowing you?"

A mumbled "No" is all she got from the him.

"You should talk to Remy, maybe he can tell you what happened, maybe
there is something" her reasoning was cut off by Logan's snarling.

"No! There has to be a reason he never said anything, what if I hurt
him Jean? What if I did just throw him back on the streets to starve
or be raped by some other sadistic bastard!" he stopped realizing
what he had just said. Seeing the look on her face he knew she heard
it. He leaned his head back against the bed and waited for her to
question him, he knew it was coming.

"Raped? Remy was raped? By who? Please Logan tell me you didn't." she
shook her head in disbelief.

"No! I didn't do it damn it! I found him after it happened!" He was
almost offended by her accusation, but hell, what did he know, he
could have. He had no clue what he did after that night, and was
afraid to find out. "Jeannie, I want ya to stop this. Stop what ever
ya did. I don't want to remember anymore. If I did something to the
kid I don't want to know. Fix what ever ya did now!" he demanded.

"Logan, please talk to Remy first, this may be a big
misunderstanding, maybe nothing happened. If you did do something to
Remy do you really think he would like you as much as he does? He is
always at your side, you go drinking together, he always has your
back in battle. Logan he is the only one in the mansion that has
never feared you. If you had hurt him when he was a child do you
think he would act this way towards you now? Please talk to him,
maybe he himself doesn't remember, you said he was young. Just talk
to him Logan" she begged.

She had a point and he knew it.

"Ok Jeannie, I'll talk to him" he sighed.

"Good, if you still want the memories to stop after that, I will stop
them. But give it a chance."
Feeling her mission was accomplished she rose to leave. "If you need
to talk I will be here Logan, you know that." she waited at the door
for an answer.

"Yea I know, thanks Jeannie" he whispered.

"Night Logan" and with that she closed the door behind her, leaving
Logan to his thoughts.

He really had no idea why this scared him so much. His stomach was
turning double time and his head spun. Why was he so afraid to talk
to the kid. "The worse the Cajun could do is never talk to me again."
With that thought his stomach lurched, if he would have eaten that
day he would have lost it right there. The thought of the Cajun never
talking to him against physically hurt him. "What if I loose him" he
thought to himself. He shook his head, what was he thinking "loose
him" he never had him, never wanted him, or did he.
Logan jumped out of bed and headed towards the bathroom "I'm loosing
my damn mind" he growled under his breath. He made a plan in his
head. "I am gonna take a shower, get some food, drink a beer, or a
case, and talk to the Cajun." The plan was set, he just had to make
himself follow it.
----------------

Jean slowly walked down the corridor to the den. So lost in the
thoughts of what Logan told her she ran right into the side table
and stumbled.

"Whoa Jeannie, better watch where y' going" Remy said with a sly grin
catching Jean by the shoulders and steadied her. "If ya want to get
close to me just ask me next time" he joked.

"Remy!" she squeaked and jerked away from his hands. "I'm sorry, must
have been lost in thought, I didn't mean to fall on you like that,
are you ok?" She asked like she had actually hurt him.

"Jeannie I am ok, y' ain't dat heavy" he laughed. "Are you ok?" he
asked noticing she was still blankly staring at him.

"I'm sorry" is all she said and grabbed him in a motherly bear hug.
She looked up into his eyes and could see the confusion and she
pulled away.

"Y' sure y' ok? he asked, too baffled to come up with a quick one-
liner.

"Yes Remy I am fine" she reassured him as she gave him a sad look and
walked down towards the den. She knew she shouldn't have done that
but she couldn't help it. Knowing now just a little of the hell Remy
went through as a child she could not help but try to comfort him,
even if he didn't know why.

Remy just wrote it off as "that time of month" and went on down the
hall towards the Danger Room, not giving it a second thought.
----------------------

Logan had taken his shower, finished off the leftovers of dinner, and
drank every beer he could find in the house, but he did not budge
from his chair in the kitchen. He knew the last part of his plan, but
he just couldn't make himself do it. The thought of just calling off
the whole plan and going back to bed had crossed his mind, but he was
just as afraid to do that as he was to find Remy. What if the dream
started where it left off? Then he would not only know he hurt Remy,
he would have to see it, and remember it, too.
"Get up out of the chair and go find the kid" he ordered himself.
Logan rose out of his chair determined. "Lets get this over with" he
growled after swigging the last drink of his beer and throwing it in
the recycling bin.

After leaving the kitchen it didn't take him long to find Remy, his
scent lead Logan to the den. Logan stood in the doorway. He knew that
the kid was in the room but didn't see him. He walked in and noticed
that the TV was on, but the station had gone off air and the national
anthem played softly. As he stepped closer to the back of the couch
he noticed the lanky figure curled up on one side, total oblivious to
the static that just began playing on the screen.

"Kid must have fallen asleep" he whispered to no one but himself and
smiled.

Logan stepped around the couch and knelt down. He looked at the young
man in front of him. "He still looks so young when he's sleeps" Logan
thought to himself. Before he could catch himself he brushed back a
strand of hair that had fallen in front of Remy's face. Remy twitched
and his eyes fluttered open. Seeing a person that close to him
startled him and he jumped up and across the couch.
"Its ok kid, its just me" Logan said in a calming voice.
Remy let out a sigh. "What are y' doing homme trying to scare me to
death?"
Remy relaxed into the corner of the couch as Logan silently took the
other corner looking away from him.
"So what were y' doing anyway?" Remy asked. Curious to know why he
found Logan less then a foot away from his face playing with his hair
in his sleep. Normally he would dream of waking up with Loganlike
that, but not in the den.

"Just watching ya sleep" Logan honestly answered.

Logan was acting odd and Remy knew it. He didn't know what to do, he
was afraid to ask why he was here, or what he wanted, or why he was
watching him sleep of all things. "Mon Dieu! What if he remembered!
What if he is here to tell me how much I disgust him, to never talk
to him again, to leave?" his thoughts where causing him to panic, he
had to leave before Logan could destroy the little hope he had.

"Well I think I'm going to go to bed, night Logan" he quickly said
while rising to his feet.
As he turned to leave he was stopped by Logan's hand on his arm.

"I remembered something last night" was all Logan said.

They stood there for several long minutes. Remy frozen in place with
his back to Logan, Logan's hand on his arm and Logan staring at
Remy's back. Finally Logan broke the silence with what seemed like a
simple question.

"Why?" he quietly asked.

Remy turned around to face Logan but kept his eyes to the floor. "Why
what?" he asked in return.

"Why didn't ya say anything? Why didn't ya tell me that I met ya
before? Why didn't ya tell me about that night in New Orleans? I
don't understand Remy, did I hurt ya somehow? Is that why?" Logan
begged Remy.
Just minutes ago he didn't know how he was gonna ask these questions,
and now they all poured out at once and he needed answers. He had to
know if he hurt the kid, now the young man, in front of him. If he
did he would do anything to make it up to him, to erase the hurt,
anything to make the kid stay and never leave. He didn't know he ever
felt this way about the Cajun, yea he liked the kid, whats not to
like, but he never pondered anything more until now. Now that he was
at a point that he could loose it all.
After several minutes of nothing but silence, Logan plead
again "Remy? Please answer me, tell me why?" He reached up and took
Remy by the chin and met him eye to eye.

Remy's eyes were swimming. He jerked away from Logan's hand. As he
ran from the room all he said was. "I can't"
 

TBC