This is not such a bad thing as you might suppose. My oldest, Bree, was born when I was 21, broke and not prepared to make a living doing anything. My youngest, Claire, was born when I was 37, had secured my degree, held a good job for over five years and was generally established in life. So I have had two completely separate and unique parenting experiences. One child has shared my long and twisted efforts to find myself and one will share the product of that search. It's an interesting contrast.
When I was young, progress was everything. Since I wasn't making any personally, Bree's progress was the be-all and end-all of my existence. It was important that she learn all of her shapes and letters and colors and numbers before she was two. Well, Claire is two and she can recognize yellow on a good day and has no clue what shape is what. "Why?" you may ask. Because, I believe that I am more secure and do not believe that Claire's progress validates my life the way Bree's did. Claire is lucky--I'm a pushy lady when I'm focused in on something.
The techniques of parenting encompass all kinds of styles. I am very aware that my parenting style is completely different from my first experience. I notice it daily. Where I worked with Bree, I back off of Claire. And yet I also notice the difference in children. Bree would work with me. Claire is busy. Playing. And that's fine.
Parenting is an interesting occupation. I find it rewarding. I look at Bree and see what a fine woman she is becoming--a good mother and also dedicated to establishing a career in Surgical Technology. And I wonder about Claire--what will she do. I do know this much--they are different children and each had a different mother--even though they both call me "Mama".