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Johan's Tavern |
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Johan's Tavern |
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You sit down at Rowdy Table #9.
Rampant punning has been heard recently. Go ahead and choose a pun thread. I dare you! |
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Rosamunde is sitting here at table, she says to you...
"This table sure must be board." "Wood you be so kind as to tell the table another joke?" "Saw that one coming, did you?" "These jokes are going against your grain." "Is this any way to tree-t good furniture?" The table groans after listening to this. The chair tries to pun-t Rosamunde out, but she refuses. Perhaps this conversation could branch a bit, maybe Rosamunde will leaf. We may even dig to the root of the issue, or get covered with sap. |
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Michael F. Gunter wrote:
Lame Humor? Johan Bjornsson wrote: I did't know lame pieces or armour could even speak. ;-P Of course if they could speak, they would be very articulate. :-O Zara Zina wrote: And if they were silver lame', they would be very shiny:) But if they were just silver gilt, they would be guilty (of pretense).:( Ainar Magnusson wrote: NONONONO Arggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh You all are killing me... Get thee to a punnery... Johan Bjornsson wrote: If one goes to feast in armour then... The feastocrat would be the ad-visor. The ale for the feast could have been brewed in a large pauldron. You could drink the ale from your cop. You could eat white chicken meat off of your breastplate. Or gorge-t yourself on all the other wonderful removes. But what if the feastocrat had passed on and there was no feast? We'd all have to greave. Aquilanne wrote: OK. I've been reading this chain of mail, and it would seem it is time for someone else to sallet in and take the helm. Of torse, I wouldn't normally be so presumtious as to dis-mantle such a punnish forray, but perhaps we should make a tasset agreement to harness this power for good. If, however, this should in-cuisse, vambrace yourself because I'd feel obliged to throw down the gauntlet. You may ask, with a nasal whine, 'why throw out the baby with the bascinet?' Well, I ain't poleyn your leg, should this wave of silliness crest, be prepared to be pommelled, 'cause armet just go sark raving mad! Chauncey Roschbach wrote: urp? *whimper* I... I... *Groan* I think you've killed me... *flop* Leofric, Baron of Loch Soilleir wrote: Greetings to all and Sundry Punsters I feel the need to inform you, should you venture to the Barony of Loch Soilleir, that I have instituted Pun Taxes. Proceeds of which will enhance the general revenue of Loch Soilleir (taxes to be collected as some event to be determined). The current levy is one quarter of a dollar per pun. This may be increased at the Baron's discretion if the pun is REALLY bad. In a previous message, Aquilanne excessively punned. Using this as an example it would have cost the punster at least four dollars, had the punning occured in Loch Soilleir (within my hearing; If I don't hear it, I don't tax it). Warmest Regards Johan Bjornsson wrote: Aren't pun-T-ax a type of car? Simone wrote: Ohhhhh.... Johan tha was a groaner Johan Bjornsson wrote: I should have buckled up for a strapping good time should I have known that Aquilanne was going to join this game-base-on her previous thorough pun pommeling. But it sure keeps me rivetted to the screen for more. Weld you consider brazing us with some more or your cutting rapier-tay? |
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Philippe wrote:
So where does the net fall into this? Since you are accessing from within Loch Soileir is it technically within your herring? Or do you have to tackel this strickly in side your bourders? Perhaps instead of Taxing punster you should try and give them help. Many are hooked on this course of action and find it a matter of halabet. Some would say that they are shark raving mad. Perhaps it is a shellfish condition of self pleasure, bassing in the reaction they bring about in otters. In any case it is serious condition where no one swims. Aquilanne wrote: OK, now. If you don't stop you may just give people a haddock and seal your fate; then you won't be left with a ray of hope. Folks, Philippe's generally a good boy, and it's my be-reef that eel take social morays into consideration before diving in over his head in search of an en-dolphin rush next time he skates over to perch in front of the keyboard. Not that I'm suggesting he clam up, mind you. That would shore be a beach. Philippe wrote: I bow before the great pun Goddess. Robert Brown wrote: I agree. Now I have a Haddach. I may even need a sturgeon. Valstarr wrote: Please, Come off your perches for a moment! Is it wise to continue to carp about these things, whether they proceed from a small-mouth or a large-mouth? In your writing, as if in my herring, you have trouted out your statements. Wall-eye have never seined such a kettle of fish as this before. GARishly you continue, skipjacking your way across the net. However, when the need arises, one must match pike for pike. Muskie, at best, is all I can say for your humor. I think you minn-ow it to yourselves to take thought, lest you flounder. Happy Fishing For the next Big-one! |
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Keif av Keirstad wrote:
(Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest) Yeah, that's it... Ser Gunther wrote: Ya....some folks don't have a leg to stand on. They cant prop-erly form a pun at all... Most times they use humor as a crutch and hop into the fray... One must halt at the first sign of a limp weapon... There seems to be madness a-foot...and it must be clubed right away...! So, wrap it up and hope that the swell-ness doesn't cut off the flow of blood to yer head.... |
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Baroness Caterina treadles on precarious ground with:
Strange how that horse thing has played out............became a road kill thing, now it's a cat thing........WHERE will we go next??!! The string became a rope from which we're dangling by a thread! Tee hee! I think I see another round of puns a-comin'!! Aquilanne wrote: Sew. You just had to go and needle us, didn't you? Darn you. I don't mean to knit-pick, but you realize, of course, winding us up like that is totally warped. I be-weave we're beginning to suffer from a loss of dignity on this list, and I feel thoroughly be-weft. I can sense the fabric of reality folding as we spin our little tales here on the net. I think I'll just shuttle off and rack my brain for an inkle-ing how to deal with the issues looming over us. Oh well. They say every cloud has a silver linen. Mayne de la Croix wrote: Wire you getting wound up and spinning some yarn about me? You are so crewel sometimes, please do knot fabric-ate another big mesh on the net. Wool you please keep this spoolishness be-twine you and me, be-gauze you know these gossamers are all of one a-cord and they'll be ribbon me. You know how cilium they can get. It makes me feel silk to my stomach and guess I haven't cotton the gin out of my system yet. Well, it's 1 O'sock on the hose, so I have to run. Aquilanne wrote: Bravo! Very nicely done!. Twill be a sad day when I can no longer discern whether I've been bested or worsted. Thank you very much; it was a bright rayon my day. Who says I'm biased? |
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Sandy Koenig responded:
Peas stop the madness. Philippe wrote: I bow before the great pun Goddess. Sandy Koenig pleaded: Simone wrote: Ohhhhh.... Johan tha was a groaner Ainar Magnusson wrote: NONONONO Arggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh You all are killing me... Get thee to a punnery... |
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Daniel de Lincolia wrote:
Daniel de Lincolia, forcene the livestock puns from Aquilanne Aquilanne responded: Make sure you're braced as I a-void responding directly to the challenge. Daniel, I don't know if I like your attitude. I'm not sure if I should take it as an affronty or not, but I suppose that could just be pendant on your mood at any given time. I'm sure you think you raise a salient point, but then again, assumptions frequently run rampant on this list, don't they? I mean, what if things were reversed? Would I be stooping to statant things without support? But perhaps you're jessed old-fashioned. Not that I'm saying that urinant-ique to be held in veneration. Perhaps you just didn't nowed what to say, and kinda pizzled out on us. heehee (Watch it--I have both A Dictionary of Heraldry *and* a Fox-Davies. It could get downright gringoly [isn't that a cool word?] in here. |
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Ulrica wrote:
I am looking to do some period painting on glass. Johan Bjornsson responded: Hah! Foiled again! Solder-y for this message but I can't help it. I see through that colorful attempt to 'lead' us to another topic. The flux of the matter, you see, is that in order to get the whole picture we need to stop chipping away at the edges and pull ourselves together. Perhaps 'U' or 'I' could do this? |
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Gorm wrote:
I have made a fermented beverage using apple cider, and cinnamon, adding yeast, and allowing to ferment. What would this be called. Mayne de la Croix responded: Call it "Attack of the Cydermen" Johan Bjornsson responded to the response: It be-WHO-ves me to point out that such a drink would be scarf-ed down quite quickly, but it sure sounds like such a drink would turn my belly to jelly, baby! Once the local supply ran out, we would need a K-9 to track some more down. Hmm...perhaps The Master brewer has a few cases stashed away? But if we drink too much we may need a Doctor to rescue us. And if we get into trouble when drunk on this brew the authorities may have feathered and Tarred-us. Just a comment about the "Attack of the Cydermen" brew...don't put gold flakes in it! Angela responded to the response of the response: Ah!!! I love it!! I'm a big fan of the Doctor myself. I'm glad someone else picked up on this! :) Mayne de la Croix re-responded: What if you use golden delicious apples?? |
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