The Top Twenty Reasons Fencing is Better Than Heavy Fighting

 
20. Chainmail wedgies. I shan't elaborate
19. Fridge magnets don't stick to fencers
18. Washable armour
17. Compasses work near fencers
16. Our swords clank. Theirs clatter
15. Field battle. Lightning. 'Nuff said
14. When flirting with an opponent, we can tell the gender. 
13. Witty repartee doesn't sound like Darth Vader
12. Two practices per week (well, for us, anyway)
11. Tower shields are for those who can't use a buckler
10. Fencers don't set off airport alarms 
  9. We only take one seat in the car on the way to Pennsic
  8. No worries about accidentally winning a tourney and ending up as royalty
  7. Better booze (Godet vs. Beer) 
  6. Our weapons fit in the car, not on the roofrack
  5. You can wear a rapier in court
  4. Smaller duct tape budget
  3. Our headgear doesn't crush the brains
  2. Tuchux don't fence
  1. To a rapier, chainmail is a series of linked holes
 
Edward de Molay