It is difficult when you have to contend with perfection;

When you have, by accident, one perfect child.

For she will suffer the same personal rejection;

And it will not be administered mild.

Now, the perfect child does not lie, steal, beg, or borrow,

Does nothing to diminish the way you might feel,

And does not in any way bring sorrow

Into any part of the family deal.

The perfect child does not smoke, drink, cuss, or swear,

Smoke pot, drop pills, or 'shoot it up'.

Keeps herself quite proper in the clothes she'll wear,

And sips Coca Cola from a paper cup.

She used to, that is...before she had this problem...